crippling, really
excuses only please those that give them. an old wise man once told me this. i believe it was my sister amy. i don’t really know how to say it any other way, so here goes. yeah i am vain, i DO think this song is about me, and that’s fine. perhaps this is the just the kind of slap i need reminding me that it is possible to care too much and it is possible to love someone too much and apparently there is a point where inviting someone to come see me is just too damn much. it seems, if my hunch correct, that i have done exactly that. my b. In the matter of months that you’ve lived in your new city, i’ve seen you a few times, however in the years i’ve lived here, i’ve missed your presence. it’s tiring trying to convince you, and just maybe, you’re un-convincible. for this reason, as much as i’d like to dis-invite you forever, i simply cannot do that. you still have a place in my apartment and in my heart as you always have. but do not mistake my patience and kindness as any form of faulty guard for my heart. if you only look at visiting me as a matter of convenience, i will not be around for it, and if you wait too long, i’ll be gone for good. it’s unfortunate that i somehow end up the err one in all of this.
On the more fantastic side of things: After an absolutely insanely fun night with Adam, John, Sondra, Sophie, Jamie, Andrea, Caitlin and her boo, Shannon and Joe, Janelle and I wrote a rap song. The evening also included me attacking her with grape jelly and action shots. She informed me after pointing to her sex organs that ‘mi casa as tu casa’. Well duh. I haven’t had such a humorous evening since the days of good ol’ ambi, robi and cyrusi. When they come back to the Village of Gaines, they’re in for a treat. Janelle and I have new friends to introduce them to and new places to bring them. Until then I am planning a visit home to welcome them back from a few weeks in Europe. And of course to catch up on the beach action I haven’t had in the last two months. Although I am sick, I have exams, assignments and projects due and friends who would rather talk their way out of a fucking paper bag then drive the hour and a half here,
I LOVE MY LIFE.