Jan 19, 2012 23:50
So, I did get sick . . . and I have not been to the gym since last Wednesday. I have not been eating well either. I am sort of starting to feel like crap. I am really disappointed right now. Really discouraged. It was also really discouraging to realize that I was not really losing any weight while I was doing things right.
I made an appointment with a new therapist. I really hope that goes well. I am so tired. I have begun to be really distressed about the fact that I can't keep my house and my body under control. I have begun to notice some distressing things about my body lately. I have fot to get my shit together. I know this. I guess if it were easy though, we would all be thin.
I am really angry with Jake right now for leaving me alone all this time. Maybe resentful is a better way to put it? I wanted him to be happy - hence the whole Army thing and he's not happy. I want to slap him. I want to scream. I feel like I am down in a hole that I will never ever ever ever get out of.
I want to scream. I feel like I am killing myself. I hope that the therapist can help. I can't even think straight.