I sleep with her, in both senses of the word.
I’m so sad. i think this is the end of us. I’m jealous of the things you’ve done, and for knowing I never will. I want you, but I don’t think you really want this, and if you do I don’t think you’ll trust me regardless. Its so unfair that you get to leave. You get to move on and do something with your life and forget about me in no time. I on the other hand am stuck inbetween Boston and Attleboro both of which are going to just continue to remind me of you. I’m so sad. I’m so sick of being sad. and that I can’t just be angry at you and tell you all this in this exact manor. its not fucking fair. I wanted to hear your intentions for seeing me again, and you never gave them. I want to just think its cause you were looking for someone to fuck in the mean time, that I’d be another one of those girls that was more into you then you them. It didn’t work out that way you said it yourself that you didn’t ever mean to get close but you did. and you drew me back into everything. I want to be mad at you for that so badly. You make my head and heart heavy and I’m so sick of that feeling. I’m so sick of caring too much and especially caring too much about you. its not fair. I want a fresh start. I want a redo. I want to just be happy. whywhywhywhywhy. I’m 20 years old, I shouldn’t be in this position.
I hate calling Chelsea and crying, I always do though. She’s the only one that can get me to just finally break down.
I don’t want to do this. You’re so unfair. And to make it worse, I still want letters from you. just to let me know you're doing okay, and happy, or something.