Survivor's Guilt - Chapter 26 {Cobra Starship, The Academy Is...}
Title: Survivor's Guilt
Rating: M
Part: 26/?
Pairings: Gabe/William, Sisky/Butcher, Victoria/Alex, and Nate/OC
Story Summary: When Victoria has to take in the child of her deceased cousin, the misguided 16 year old boy is forced to go on tour with the bands. Victoria works hard to try to be a good parent, but there's no way that she can handle it on her own, and the bands start to realize that it may not take a village to raise a child, just a large family.
Vague Chapter Summary: There may be a hitch in the adoption plan!
Disclaimer: Yeah, only like...one character is mine!
Warnings: this story is going to contain a whole slew of inaccurate psychological information and tons of angst, drama, pain probably, and maybe sex.smut...
Beta: alifeofourown
Notes: Please enjoy! :D
“Hey, Shutruk.” The next morning, Nate walked into the bedroom, gently shaking the boy. “Baby, wake up.”
“What time is it?” Shutruk muttered, rolling over towards Nate, but not opening his eyes. His black hair was a mess and his lip piercing was slightly twisted, but he didn’t seem any less comfortable than normal.
“It’s 10:30, I know that’s early for a teen on a Saturday…hell, it’s early for me on a Saturday, but Alex just called, I think you should probably be getting home.”
“What is it?” Shutruk sat up instantly, eyes widening. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not yet,” Nate admitted. “Look, let’s just walk over there, I think it might be best if I let Vic and Alex explain this to you, after all, they’re the ones who are going to be your parents, I’m just the boyfriend.” He leaned in, kissing Shutruk gently to try and calm him down.
“You’re sweet.” Shutruk smiled, tongue toying with his lip ring as Nate pulled back from the kiss.
“I know.” Nate shrugged. “Now I’m going to get you a cup of coffee and then when I get back, we can walk back to your place. I’ll stick around while they go over everything, I mean, if they’ll let me.”
“Thank you.” Shutruk smiled, yawning and stretching as he pushed the blankets back. Nate exited the room, giving Shutruk some time to pull himself together and lace up his sneakers before Nate returned, carrying a steaming mug of coffee in his hands.
“You know,” Nate said, handing over the mug and grabbing his keys. “You really got me - you got me so I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“The Kinks.” Shutruk grinned as he and Nate left the apartment. “Now I remember why I like you.”
“Had you forgotten?” Nate asked, tilting his head to the side.
“Not really,” Shutruk admitted. “You took care of me when no one else knew how.”
“You let me in.” Nate shrugged.
“I let you in because you knew what to do.” He bit his lip. “Because you saw past my defense mechanisms and-”
“If you say that I saw into your soul, you’re walking the rest of the way by yourself,” Nate teased, cutting Shutruk off.
“I was not going to say that.” Shutruk laughed. “I was going to say that you saw that I needed space, but not alone time. You knew that when I said know, it meant yes, that when I said go away, it meant stay but don’t crowd me.”
“I suppose that’s true.” Nate nodded, reaching out and lacing his fingers through Shutruk. “But do you want to know what I really saw?”
“What’s that?” Shutruk asked.
“I saw a kid, young guy, who had been so broken that he didn’t even know how to act around people. I saw someone who was used to being smothered by apologetic relatives, and more importantly, I saw someone who reacted badly to that. Sometimes it’s important to give people half space.”
“Half space?” Shutruk looked at Nate, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“When you give them space, but you’re still there - it’s like silent companionship can be half space, sitting on separate ends of the couch while watching a movie, I don’t know, it’s just something I say. I don’t think it’s a technical term.”
“I like it.” Shutruk smiled, stopping to give Nate a quick peck on the cheek before he continued walking, downing the last of his coffee. “So…is this talk that I have to have with Alex and Vic something that I should be worried about?”
“No, I don’t think so.” Nate shook his head. “Just something that you should pay attention to, it’s important.”
“Alright.” Shutruk nodded, smiling at the doorman on their way into the building. “You know what? I just smiled at someone I hardly know.” He bit his lip. “Look at what you’ve done to me.”
“I’ve made you smiley, alert the media!” Nate teased, ruffling Shutruk’s hair. “It’s not a crime to be happy, you know.”
“Yeah.” Shutruk bit his lip as he rifled through his pocket for his key. “I know that now, it just took a little getting used to.”
“I’m proud of you.” Nate smiled, pressing his lips to Shutruk’s temple as the younger boy unlocked the door.
“Thanks.” Shutruk pushed the door open. “I’m home!” he called. “What’s going on?”
“Hi.” Victoria and Alex walked into the sitting room, sitting down on the couch. “Take a seat, Shutruk.”
“Alright.” Shutruk did as Victoria asked, perching on the arm of the couch.
“So Shutruk, we got a call from the adoption agency this morning. They got around to reading our proposal and there were some things that they didn’t quite like.”
“Like what?” Shutruk frowned. “You guys are the only people who have even remotely treated me like I might a part of the family, not some burden of a charity case!”
“I know, I know.” Alex nodded, cutting in. “It’s just the fact that Vic and I both go on tour while you should be in school bothered them, obviously we can’t leave you alone, but they’re not sure it’s a good idea to take you with either, to uproot for months at a time when you’ve already been through so much. They also had a problem with Vic and I not being married, but we showed them the wedding invitations and that seemed to be…less of a problem.”
“So what, they’re worried about my education?” Shutruk frowned. “I learned more being you guys on that bus than I could a year in school!”
“Yes, but look, Shutruk.” Victoria sighed. “When it all comes down to it, they’re not sure we have what it takes to give you what you need. The fact that you and I are blood related helps, but not enough.”
“So…so what does that mean?” Shutruk asked, looking at Victoria and Alex, his eyes drooping slightly at the thought of having to move away, to live with other people.
“It means that they want to meet with you. If they can see that you’re in a decent environment, they’ll think about letting this go through. You’re older than most of their cases and that gives you some say in the matter, though not as much as I know you would like.”
“So I have to argue my reasoning?” Shutruk frowned. “That’s not fair! You guys love me like no one else has since my parents died! Who the fuck do these people think they are to contest that?”
“Shutruk, calm down.” Nate moved forwards, putting his hand on the boy’s shoulder.
“No!” Shutruk shook his head. “Who the fuck do these people think they are?” he repeated. “They have no idea what it’s like to be in my situation! To watch your parents die and then be shuffled around from family to family trying to find someone who can stand you, then when I finally do, they’re going to take you guys away? Fuck no.”
“Wait…” Victoria froze. “Shutruk, you…you were with your parents when they died.”
“Yes.” Shutruk looked down and Nate’s arm snaked around him, holding him close.
“Oh my god...” Victoria put her hand to her mouth. “Shutruk, I had no idea.”
“I know.” Shutruk gulped. “I didn’t want people to know because then I would have had to talk about it, I just didn’t know what else to do. I was in the car, I got out. Mom and dad were stuck. I watched as-” he stopped. “And then I just ran home and hid until someone came to get me.”
“I’m so sorry.” Victoria gulped, looking down at her lap.
“God, I just…please don’t be mad at me for lying.”
“We’re not mad at you! Shutruk, don’t think that.” Alex stood, walking over and pulling Shutruk into a hug. Victoria stood soon after and joined the hug. Nate put his arms around the boy’s back and Shutruk rested his head on Alex’s chest. For the first time in a long time, he was completely surrounded by love, both literally and figuratively.
Rating: M
Part: 26/?
Pairings: Gabe/William, Sisky/Butcher, Victoria/Alex, and Nate/OC
Story Summary: When Victoria has to take in the child of her deceased cousin, the misguided 16 year old boy is forced to go on tour with the bands. Victoria works hard to try to be a good parent, but there's no way that she can handle it on her own, and the bands start to realize that it may not take a village to raise a child, just a large family.
Vague Chapter Summary: There may be a hitch in the adoption plan!
Disclaimer: Yeah, only like...one character is mine!
Warnings: this story is going to contain a whole slew of inaccurate psychological information and tons of angst, drama, pain probably, and maybe sex.smut...
Beta: alifeofourown
Notes: Please enjoy! :D
“Hey, Shutruk.” The next morning, Nate walked into the bedroom, gently shaking the boy. “Baby, wake up.”
“What time is it?” Shutruk muttered, rolling over towards Nate, but not opening his eyes. His black hair was a mess and his lip piercing was slightly twisted, but he didn’t seem any less comfortable than normal.
“It’s 10:30, I know that’s early for a teen on a Saturday…hell, it’s early for me on a Saturday, but Alex just called, I think you should probably be getting home.”
“What is it?” Shutruk sat up instantly, eyes widening. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not yet,” Nate admitted. “Look, let’s just walk over there, I think it might be best if I let Vic and Alex explain this to you, after all, they’re the ones who are going to be your parents, I’m just the boyfriend.” He leaned in, kissing Shutruk gently to try and calm him down.
“You’re sweet.” Shutruk smiled, tongue toying with his lip ring as Nate pulled back from the kiss.
“I know.” Nate shrugged. “Now I’m going to get you a cup of coffee and then when I get back, we can walk back to your place. I’ll stick around while they go over everything, I mean, if they’ll let me.”
“Thank you.” Shutruk smiled, yawning and stretching as he pushed the blankets back. Nate exited the room, giving Shutruk some time to pull himself together and lace up his sneakers before Nate returned, carrying a steaming mug of coffee in his hands.
“You know,” Nate said, handing over the mug and grabbing his keys. “You really got me - you got me so I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“The Kinks.” Shutruk grinned as he and Nate left the apartment. “Now I remember why I like you.”
“Had you forgotten?” Nate asked, tilting his head to the side.
“Not really,” Shutruk admitted. “You took care of me when no one else knew how.”
“You let me in.” Nate shrugged.
“I let you in because you knew what to do.” He bit his lip. “Because you saw past my defense mechanisms and-”
“If you say that I saw into your soul, you’re walking the rest of the way by yourself,” Nate teased, cutting Shutruk off.
“I was not going to say that.” Shutruk laughed. “I was going to say that you saw that I needed space, but not alone time. You knew that when I said know, it meant yes, that when I said go away, it meant stay but don’t crowd me.”
“I suppose that’s true.” Nate nodded, reaching out and lacing his fingers through Shutruk. “But do you want to know what I really saw?”
“What’s that?” Shutruk asked.
“I saw a kid, young guy, who had been so broken that he didn’t even know how to act around people. I saw someone who was used to being smothered by apologetic relatives, and more importantly, I saw someone who reacted badly to that. Sometimes it’s important to give people half space.”
“Half space?” Shutruk looked at Nate, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“When you give them space, but you’re still there - it’s like silent companionship can be half space, sitting on separate ends of the couch while watching a movie, I don’t know, it’s just something I say. I don’t think it’s a technical term.”
“I like it.” Shutruk smiled, stopping to give Nate a quick peck on the cheek before he continued walking, downing the last of his coffee. “So…is this talk that I have to have with Alex and Vic something that I should be worried about?”
“No, I don’t think so.” Nate shook his head. “Just something that you should pay attention to, it’s important.”
“Alright.” Shutruk nodded, smiling at the doorman on their way into the building. “You know what? I just smiled at someone I hardly know.” He bit his lip. “Look at what you’ve done to me.”
“I’ve made you smiley, alert the media!” Nate teased, ruffling Shutruk’s hair. “It’s not a crime to be happy, you know.”
“Yeah.” Shutruk bit his lip as he rifled through his pocket for his key. “I know that now, it just took a little getting used to.”
“I’m proud of you.” Nate smiled, pressing his lips to Shutruk’s temple as the younger boy unlocked the door.
“Thanks.” Shutruk pushed the door open. “I’m home!” he called. “What’s going on?”
“Hi.” Victoria and Alex walked into the sitting room, sitting down on the couch. “Take a seat, Shutruk.”
“Alright.” Shutruk did as Victoria asked, perching on the arm of the couch.
“So Shutruk, we got a call from the adoption agency this morning. They got around to reading our proposal and there were some things that they didn’t quite like.”
“Like what?” Shutruk frowned. “You guys are the only people who have even remotely treated me like I might a part of the family, not some burden of a charity case!”
“I know, I know.” Alex nodded, cutting in. “It’s just the fact that Vic and I both go on tour while you should be in school bothered them, obviously we can’t leave you alone, but they’re not sure it’s a good idea to take you with either, to uproot for months at a time when you’ve already been through so much. They also had a problem with Vic and I not being married, but we showed them the wedding invitations and that seemed to be…less of a problem.”
“So what, they’re worried about my education?” Shutruk frowned. “I learned more being you guys on that bus than I could a year in school!”
“Yes, but look, Shutruk.” Victoria sighed. “When it all comes down to it, they’re not sure we have what it takes to give you what you need. The fact that you and I are blood related helps, but not enough.”
“So…so what does that mean?” Shutruk asked, looking at Victoria and Alex, his eyes drooping slightly at the thought of having to move away, to live with other people.
“It means that they want to meet with you. If they can see that you’re in a decent environment, they’ll think about letting this go through. You’re older than most of their cases and that gives you some say in the matter, though not as much as I know you would like.”
“So I have to argue my reasoning?” Shutruk frowned. “That’s not fair! You guys love me like no one else has since my parents died! Who the fuck do these people think they are to contest that?”
“Shutruk, calm down.” Nate moved forwards, putting his hand on the boy’s shoulder.
“No!” Shutruk shook his head. “Who the fuck do these people think they are?” he repeated. “They have no idea what it’s like to be in my situation! To watch your parents die and then be shuffled around from family to family trying to find someone who can stand you, then when I finally do, they’re going to take you guys away? Fuck no.”
“Wait…” Victoria froze. “Shutruk, you…you were with your parents when they died.”
“Yes.” Shutruk looked down and Nate’s arm snaked around him, holding him close.
“Oh my god...” Victoria put her hand to her mouth. “Shutruk, I had no idea.”
“I know.” Shutruk gulped. “I didn’t want people to know because then I would have had to talk about it, I just didn’t know what else to do. I was in the car, I got out. Mom and dad were stuck. I watched as-” he stopped. “And then I just ran home and hid until someone came to get me.”
“I’m so sorry.” Victoria gulped, looking down at her lap.
“God, I just…please don’t be mad at me for lying.”
“We’re not mad at you! Shutruk, don’t think that.” Alex stood, walking over and pulling Shutruk into a hug. Victoria stood soon after and joined the hug. Nate put his arms around the boy’s back and Shutruk rested his head on Alex’s chest. For the first time in a long time, he was completely surrounded by love, both literally and figuratively.