would you fly across the country to fall in love ?
i cant control my emotions/thoughts, and ive already talked about it. some people can and some people cant. they just override everything else. i am so emotional. i think... i feel so much more than other people. like... i can really feel my heart when it breaks. just shredding apart. or i can really feel love and it honestly feels like cloud nine. i have met cloud nine. why do poeple say cloud nine?
anyways the whole point to this journal started from myspace. i was looking at someones profile i havent been to in a looooong time. and there it was. a life all of his own. changed? yes. he's not one to stay the same.
the person i know or think of him as, left awhile ago to tour.
but what im getting at.. well i just dont know what im trying to say.
he's leaving. he's already left. he's gone. he's been gone.
i haven't thought about him since the last time we hugged, i drove away and shut him out. today the door openend. maybe out of curiousity? is it normal to see whats up with people you haven't really given much thought about lately? i have been so consumed. i love being consumed.
i read some of my newest cosmo last night. a couple articles really got me thinking.
god if i wasnt already self consious im pretty sure i am now.
im not sure if its really healthy to be in a relationship when you are so selfconsious. even about the relationship. i dont know why i have been thinking so weird or different lately.. maybe its because im jealous. maybe its because i dont want to feel this.
or think this should i say. i am too scared to get hurt. i have put my feelings thoughts emotions down on the cutting board.. now im waiting for the knife. but the knife slowly comes once in awhile... it dosnt just chop chop chop...
its more like careful slices... when i least expect it. over ideas or other thoughts or things said that shouldnt even matter.
im done.. here is another journal entry for you all to try and figure out. i am really starting to think i am crazy. i think i need help. maybe i should start reading crazy people writing... like.. Hunter S. Thompson. you know... fear and loathing in las vegas.
either way...
im pretty much confused again. maybe im bored.?. maybe im bored with the path, thoughts and feelings and emotions have decided to take?
.im out.
anyways the whole point to this journal started from myspace. i was looking at someones profile i havent been to in a looooong time. and there it was. a life all of his own. changed? yes. he's not one to stay the same.
the person i know or think of him as, left awhile ago to tour.
but what im getting at.. well i just dont know what im trying to say.
he's leaving. he's already left. he's gone. he's been gone.
i haven't thought about him since the last time we hugged, i drove away and shut him out. today the door openend. maybe out of curiousity? is it normal to see whats up with people you haven't really given much thought about lately? i have been so consumed. i love being consumed.
i read some of my newest cosmo last night. a couple articles really got me thinking.
god if i wasnt already self consious im pretty sure i am now.
im not sure if its really healthy to be in a relationship when you are so selfconsious. even about the relationship. i dont know why i have been thinking so weird or different lately.. maybe its because im jealous. maybe its because i dont want to feel this.
or think this should i say. i am too scared to get hurt. i have put my feelings thoughts emotions down on the cutting board.. now im waiting for the knife. but the knife slowly comes once in awhile... it dosnt just chop chop chop...
its more like careful slices... when i least expect it. over ideas or other thoughts or things said that shouldnt even matter.
im done.. here is another journal entry for you all to try and figure out. i am really starting to think i am crazy. i think i need help. maybe i should start reading crazy people writing... like.. Hunter S. Thompson. you know... fear and loathing in las vegas.
either way...
im pretty much confused again. maybe im bored.?. maybe im bored with the path, thoughts and feelings and emotions have decided to take?
.im out.