01 - 13
Title: 13
Characters: Thomas Müller, Holger Badstuber
Disclaimer: Excerpts from interviews are real, but nothing else is, I think.
The news came like a splash of cold water in a morning bath - expected and yet still shocking.
I had predicted how this would turn out incalculable times to my circle of friends, my family, anyone who wanted to hear (except the media, of course). It was the main thing that came to mind whenever I thought about my career, and how everything would change once my prediction came true. How everything would be exciting again, the air buzzing alive in anticipation of what would happen, what could finally happen, how unpredictable everything would be. And yet the 4am text message did not call to mind any thoughts about this.
“oy thomas aufwachen pressekonferenz um 12 uhr in frankfurt,”1 the message beeped neonly in the darkness and I groaned. Still half-asleep, I vaguely registered what it said and tapped out a reply.
“kann nicht kommen, ich bin immer noch in münchen.”2
I turned over. After a minute, my phone beeped and vibrated annoyingly against the dresser. Swearing, I reached out to grab it and get it over and done with.
“es sind noch 8 stunden bis dahin, dummkopf. schau's dir im fernsehn an. ist wichtig.”3
“mir egal. ich schlafe. nerv wen anders”4 I shot back. Seriously pissed and very sleepy, I dozed off as the sun began to appear on the Munich skyline.
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Where was I at 12 noon? I was speeding my new car down the Ottostraße at 12 noon, that’s where. I kept thinking how neat it was that Bayern5 actually gave us new cars, so that I could go road tripping whenever I felt like it. And I definitely felt like it. It was a good idea at the time.
Impulsively, I reached for my phone and turned it on absentmindedly. After the customary opening tune, I speed-dialed Holger6. I knew he’d be willing to go to Lenbach7 at such short notice. Besides, Lisa8 was busy. I didn’t want to get in the way.
The ringing ended and someone picked up. “Oy! Hallo!” I practically yelled into the speakerphone.
“Hallo Thomas!” Holger greeted. “Was machst du so?”9
“Bist du beschäftigt? Ich bin in der Ottostraße. Lass uns ins Lenbach gehen! Mitag essen.”10 I suggested enthusiastically.
“Du Knallkopf. Hat dir etwa keiner was gesagt?”11 he said in a disbelieving voice.
I was mystified. “Mir was gesagt?”12
“Jogi ist im Fernseh'n. Pressekonferenz.”13
Jogi.14 Press conference.
Barely thinking, I ended the call and drove violently, going back the way I came. Suddenly, I knew it. I just knew it.
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“Nach einem persönlichen, offenen und vertrauensvollen Gespräch mit Michael Ballack, habe ich beschlossen, dass er auch weiterhin Kapitän unseres Teams bleibt.”
“After a personal, open and trustful talk with Michael Ballack, I have decided that he will continue to be captain of our team.”
I could imagine Lisa smiling at me and saying, “Thomas, you got it right again!” And yes, I did, and I should have been happy for Der Kapitän to be back, but I wasn’t. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure if I liked it. I was absolutely staggered. In fact, it wasn’t even supposed to be this early. Or was it? Maybe a warning would have been better. Or maybe I should've listened more during training.
Drunk on disbelief, I wandered aimlessly into my room and sat down on the bed. Huh. I guess I should probably start getting used to the idea of Ballack being my captain. I thought back to the pre-World Cup season, to my teenage fantasies - didn’t they always involve Ballack leading us to victory? Him passing the trophy around, being lifted by Ballack after a spectacular goal. But reality intervened, and before I knew it, Lahm had already been stamped with the title “Captain” in my mind. I wondered vaguely if it was too late to reassign it.
My legs automatically took me to the dresser. My eyes were closed, but my hands knew where they were going, what they were looking for. This was routine. A familiar scent woke up something inside me, sent hot swirls of emotion whirling madly in the pit of my stomach. I pressed the warm fabric to my face, taking in the friction of the cloth against my skin.
A thousand memories and sensations pulsated through my veins. The smell of Astroturf. Colourful plastic horns. Dancing in the airport to Waka Waka. Trading iPods. Big rows in the locker room. Injuries. But most of all, feeling the pounding in my feet, running around the stadium in Bloemfontein, blowing kisses to everyone, feeling lighter than air. People in the crowd, cheering me on, supporting me, wearing thirteen.
My number.
A lump formed in my throat. It was so beautiful but it hurt so much.
I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands. The well-worn jersey had a few stains here and there, but aside from that it was practically as perfect as the day Joachim handed it to me. He had smiled and said, “Viel Glück, Junge”15 and turned away like giving it to a young newcomer had not mattered that much at all. And in interviews, I myself had laughed at the journalists’ insinuations and explained my choice to them haughtily: “Die war noch frei.”16
It happened to be available. It was lucky and unlucky at the same time, meaning different things for different people.
I picked it just because it happened to be available. Yes, by chance.
I knew that by tomorrow journalists would be knocking down my door and ringing my phone off the hook, asking inane questions about my jersey number. I exhaled loudly and crumpled the soft cloth in my fingers. It was just a matter of letting go. I had to make a decision.
I could hear Lisa telling me, “Nothing happens by chance, Thomas.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kölner Express got first, TZ came second. But I told them the same thing:
"Ich habe immer gesagt, daß mir die Nummer nicht so wichtig ist. Klar, sie hat gust gepaßt, wegen Gerd - aber sonst...? Wenn Micha zurückkommt, will er sie wahrscheinlich zurückhaben. Dann kann er sie haben, ich habe da keine Präferenz. Vielleicht nehme ich dann die 25, wie bei Bayern."17
After the interviews, I sighed inwardly and congratulated myself. That sounded ambiguous enough. I had to sit down and wait it out. Eventually, the storm would pass.
And then, a new jersey and a new number to prove.
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Footnotes:
1: “oy thomas wake up press conference in frankfurt by 12 o’clock”
2: “can’t come, i’m still in munich.”
3: “there are still 8 hours, stupid. watch for it on tv. it’s important.”
4: “i don't care. i’m sleeping. go check someone else out.”
5: Bayern Munich, a football club
6: Holger Badstuber, #14 of Die Mannschaft and Thomas’ supposed best friend
7: Fancy restaurant famous for its 7 Deadly Sins theme and celebrity appeal
8: Lisa Müller, Thomas’ wife
9: “What are you up to?”
10: “Are you busy? I’m in the Ottostraße. Let’s go eat at Lenbach! Lunch.”
11: “You crazy person. No one told you?”
12: “Told me what?”
13: “Jogi’s on TV. Press conference.”
14: Jogi or Joachim Löw, the coach of Die Mannschaft
15: “Good luck, kid.”
16: “It happened to be available.”
17: “Of course it’s a very good number, because it’s associated with Gerd (Müller). I am proud to have owned it. If Micha (Ballack) is back in the national team, he will probably ask for the number 13. He will get it, because I have no choice.” Or alternately, “He will get it, because I have no preference.” "I might take 25, just as I do in Bayern."
Characters: Thomas Müller, Holger Badstuber
Disclaimer: Excerpts from interviews are real, but nothing else is, I think.
The news came like a splash of cold water in a morning bath - expected and yet still shocking.
I had predicted how this would turn out incalculable times to my circle of friends, my family, anyone who wanted to hear (except the media, of course). It was the main thing that came to mind whenever I thought about my career, and how everything would change once my prediction came true. How everything would be exciting again, the air buzzing alive in anticipation of what would happen, what could finally happen, how unpredictable everything would be. And yet the 4am text message did not call to mind any thoughts about this.
“oy thomas aufwachen pressekonferenz um 12 uhr in frankfurt,”1 the message beeped neonly in the darkness and I groaned. Still half-asleep, I vaguely registered what it said and tapped out a reply.
“kann nicht kommen, ich bin immer noch in münchen.”2
I turned over. After a minute, my phone beeped and vibrated annoyingly against the dresser. Swearing, I reached out to grab it and get it over and done with.
“es sind noch 8 stunden bis dahin, dummkopf. schau's dir im fernsehn an. ist wichtig.”3
“mir egal. ich schlafe. nerv wen anders”4 I shot back. Seriously pissed and very sleepy, I dozed off as the sun began to appear on the Munich skyline.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Where was I at 12 noon? I was speeding my new car down the Ottostraße at 12 noon, that’s where. I kept thinking how neat it was that Bayern5 actually gave us new cars, so that I could go road tripping whenever I felt like it. And I definitely felt like it. It was a good idea at the time.
Impulsively, I reached for my phone and turned it on absentmindedly. After the customary opening tune, I speed-dialed Holger6. I knew he’d be willing to go to Lenbach7 at such short notice. Besides, Lisa8 was busy. I didn’t want to get in the way.
The ringing ended and someone picked up. “Oy! Hallo!” I practically yelled into the speakerphone.
“Hallo Thomas!” Holger greeted. “Was machst du so?”9
“Bist du beschäftigt? Ich bin in der Ottostraße. Lass uns ins Lenbach gehen! Mitag essen.”10 I suggested enthusiastically.
“Du Knallkopf. Hat dir etwa keiner was gesagt?”11 he said in a disbelieving voice.
I was mystified. “Mir was gesagt?”12
“Jogi ist im Fernseh'n. Pressekonferenz.”13
Jogi.14 Press conference.
Barely thinking, I ended the call and drove violently, going back the way I came. Suddenly, I knew it. I just knew it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Nach einem persönlichen, offenen und vertrauensvollen Gespräch mit Michael Ballack, habe ich beschlossen, dass er auch weiterhin Kapitän unseres Teams bleibt.”
“After a personal, open and trustful talk with Michael Ballack, I have decided that he will continue to be captain of our team.”
I could imagine Lisa smiling at me and saying, “Thomas, you got it right again!” And yes, I did, and I should have been happy for Der Kapitän to be back, but I wasn’t. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure if I liked it. I was absolutely staggered. In fact, it wasn’t even supposed to be this early. Or was it? Maybe a warning would have been better. Or maybe I should've listened more during training.
Drunk on disbelief, I wandered aimlessly into my room and sat down on the bed. Huh. I guess I should probably start getting used to the idea of Ballack being my captain. I thought back to the pre-World Cup season, to my teenage fantasies - didn’t they always involve Ballack leading us to victory? Him passing the trophy around, being lifted by Ballack after a spectacular goal. But reality intervened, and before I knew it, Lahm had already been stamped with the title “Captain” in my mind. I wondered vaguely if it was too late to reassign it.
My legs automatically took me to the dresser. My eyes were closed, but my hands knew where they were going, what they were looking for. This was routine. A familiar scent woke up something inside me, sent hot swirls of emotion whirling madly in the pit of my stomach. I pressed the warm fabric to my face, taking in the friction of the cloth against my skin.
A thousand memories and sensations pulsated through my veins. The smell of Astroturf. Colourful plastic horns. Dancing in the airport to Waka Waka. Trading iPods. Big rows in the locker room. Injuries. But most of all, feeling the pounding in my feet, running around the stadium in Bloemfontein, blowing kisses to everyone, feeling lighter than air. People in the crowd, cheering me on, supporting me, wearing thirteen.
My number.
A lump formed in my throat. It was so beautiful but it hurt so much.
I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands. The well-worn jersey had a few stains here and there, but aside from that it was practically as perfect as the day Joachim handed it to me. He had smiled and said, “Viel Glück, Junge”15 and turned away like giving it to a young newcomer had not mattered that much at all. And in interviews, I myself had laughed at the journalists’ insinuations and explained my choice to them haughtily: “Die war noch frei.”16
It happened to be available. It was lucky and unlucky at the same time, meaning different things for different people.
I picked it just because it happened to be available. Yes, by chance.
I knew that by tomorrow journalists would be knocking down my door and ringing my phone off the hook, asking inane questions about my jersey number. I exhaled loudly and crumpled the soft cloth in my fingers. It was just a matter of letting go. I had to make a decision.
I could hear Lisa telling me, “Nothing happens by chance, Thomas.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kölner Express got first, TZ came second. But I told them the same thing:
"Ich habe immer gesagt, daß mir die Nummer nicht so wichtig ist. Klar, sie hat gust gepaßt, wegen Gerd - aber sonst...? Wenn Micha zurückkommt, will er sie wahrscheinlich zurückhaben. Dann kann er sie haben, ich habe da keine Präferenz. Vielleicht nehme ich dann die 25, wie bei Bayern."17
After the interviews, I sighed inwardly and congratulated myself. That sounded ambiguous enough. I had to sit down and wait it out. Eventually, the storm would pass.
And then, a new jersey and a new number to prove.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Footnotes:
1: “oy thomas wake up press conference in frankfurt by 12 o’clock”
2: “can’t come, i’m still in munich.”
3: “there are still 8 hours, stupid. watch for it on tv. it’s important.”
4: “i don't care. i’m sleeping. go check someone else out.”
5: Bayern Munich, a football club
6: Holger Badstuber, #14 of Die Mannschaft and Thomas’ supposed best friend
7: Fancy restaurant famous for its 7 Deadly Sins theme and celebrity appeal
8: Lisa Müller, Thomas’ wife
9: “What are you up to?”
10: “Are you busy? I’m in the Ottostraße. Let’s go eat at Lenbach! Lunch.”
11: “You crazy person. No one told you?”
12: “Told me what?”
13: “Jogi’s on TV. Press conference.”
14: Jogi or Joachim Löw, the coach of Die Mannschaft
15: “Good luck, kid.”
16: “It happened to be available.”
17: “Of course it’s a very good number, because it’s associated with Gerd (Müller). I am proud to have owned it. If Micha (Ballack) is back in the national team, he will probably ask for the number 13. He will get it, because I have no choice.” Or alternately, “He will get it, because I have no preference.” "I might take 25, just as I do in Bayern."