(no subject)

Jun 30, 2006 00:00

we belong together. we always have. we always will. i'm his and he's mine. i feel like the only place that i can feel completely comfortable in is that spot where my back hits his chest and my head rests on his shoulder. i'm in way over my head. i know where we're headed. in one of two directions. and i dont know which one we'll end up at. but i know that i'm going to enjoy this time. this summer. the past two years have been an absolute whirlwind. he went from being the boy who called me everyday, the one i never wanted to talk to because i thought that we would never get out of the "friends zone" to being the boy who changed my life. he changed the way i thought, the way i acted. in not for the worse. when i'm with him i'm a better person, at least i think so. i never thought that i would end up with him. i never thought that he had those feelings for me. but he did, and now we're here. two years of dating, almost 5(!) years of friendship. thank you gary, for everything that you have been to me. i know i dont always act like it, but i love you. more than everything.

"i love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship -no pun intended- but I had to say it, because I've never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I could'nt allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitiation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that -at least for ten seconds- and try to dwell in it. there isnt another soul on this fucking planet who's ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me. you can't deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me"
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