odd

[moonsson]

This odd little thing just happened and I thought I would share. 18 years ago my friend Dave took his own life. That was on my mind today but i went on with my day as i have for the past 18 years on this date. As I was sitting here reading I was over whelmed with the scent of Polo(his scent). I then heard some one move across the living room(odd

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[failuresofine]

My mother had this sort of thing happen with my uncle (her brother, obviously), although she claimed she actually saw him, as if he were a real live person standing right in front of her, speaking (though she said she could not hear him). He died very young (32) due to heart related issues and she didn't deal with it very well, and never fully recovered from it (plus she was the one who found him dead in his bed-- apparently he died in his sleep. I was 18 at the time.).

I will say that I believe that she believed this all really happened, however, my suspicion was that it was more of a hallucination than anything else, and I only say that because she had some serious mental (and medical) issues of her own (some of which involved strong medications). I'm *not* saying it didn't actually happen, just that I was a bit skeptical when she told me, but I didn't say that because I didn't want to upset her further. She claimed it happened on numerous occasions.

She killed herself in her home in 2008 and I had to deal with the 'aftermath' of everything, from the cleanup (fortunately I had help, because that is probably the single most distressing and disturbing thing I've ever had to deal with) to clearing out the house and selling it. Anyway, I drove down to her house the day after this happened (she lived about 600 miles away) and I stayed there for about a week. The entire time I felt like I was being watched and I felt like there was someone else in the house. It made me so incredibly paranoid that I went around and turned on every single light in the house at night and left them on until morning. She had a lot of decorative mirrors and I couldn't look at any of them because everything reflected in them turned this sort of hazy red color. Nothing there felt "safe" and I was having multiple panic attacks and ended up having to go back home for a bit to recover. It was very strange, and I don't know if it was because of the mental/emotional trauma I was dealing with, or if it was the effects of 'residual' trauma from what had taken place. Maybe both.

I won't even mention the phone call I received a couple months later when I was working with a realtor to get the house sold. Chilled me right to the bone.

Yikes, long, sorry. Just wanted to share.

[moonsson]

Thanks for sharing this. I understand the stress of dealing with the aftermath(I helped his mom clean his apartment) so I think it makes this date a little more bitter. I did not see him but I could "feel" him if that makes sense.

[failuresofine]

I do understand the 'feel' part. I believe it has happened to me with my grandfather (my mother's father). He died in 1996, and for a few years after that I occasionally had the sense that he was there. It was so strong-- as in, I was absolutely certain he was present in some form-- that I'm fairly convinced it was real. Unfortunately, it stopped happening a long time ago. :\

I dream about my mother on a semi-regular basis, and sometimes they're very interesting dreams. We had a very rocky relationship up until a couple of years before her death, and my dreams almost come across as making up for 'lost time', such as the periods that we were basically estranged. Whether it's just my mind wanting it to work that way, or her actually 'communicating' in some form, I can't really say.

Heh, and that made me remember that she believed that when people die, they turn in to stars(like, the ones in the sky at night). I always thought that sounded fairly pleasant. I hope she is a star now.

[moonsson]

I hope your mom is a star too.