Negative Energies?
Hi, I'm not sure if this is the best place to post this, but it's worth a try! I'd like to get some advice.
First of all, I've had experiences with the paranormal from a young age. When I was a baby my great-grandmother died, and when I was around 3-5 years old I would apparently see her sitting at the bottom of my bed, and would even talk to her (although I don't remember this, I'm just going from what my family have told me). My grandmother also saw this ghost when she was staying at our house. She happened to be sleeping in my room at the time, I think my room has the most activity? I remember once I caught a climpse of a white figure gliding into my bedroom.
It's been several years since that though, and I haven't seen or sensed her since (I still live in the same house, I'm 17 years old now, so about 10 years since that sighting).
I've started to sense something else though, and to be honest I'm starting to worry a bit about it! The first time I started feeling something strange was when I was around 13-14. It's hard to describe the feeling, it's almost as if something is standing by my bed (always on the left side by my closet) and I get a feeling of dread wash over me. It's an incredibly intense sensation. At first I'd just try and ignore it, or hide under my covers, but it soon became hard to ignore. Eventually I started sleeping downstairs to avoid it. I couldn't even go into my room on some days. Around this time I was diagnosed with depression, and I'd occasionally self harm and have suicidal thoughts. I eventually spoke to my mother about it but she brushed it off, saying it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I assumed it was some sort of manifestation of the negative emotions I'd been going through.
My mother did agree to let my grandmother's friend check out my room. She's able to sense spirits, and she stood in my room for a while, but said she sensed nothing (although she said I had a lot of negative energy centered in my stomach area?). I honestly know nothing about these things haha. It's interesting that she said that I have the 'gift' too, I'd be interested in learning more about this subject.
The presence eventually stopped when I finished school (which played a part in my depression) and I thought it was over. Recently though it's started again, and it seems just as bad as before. I try and leave the TV on but turn the volume off, because it seems to ward off the feeling and I find it comforting in a way. I've started to simply stay up late to avoid going to bed though, and I've barely had any sleep because of this. I'm exhausted constantly and I just want this to end.
I'm not sure if this is related, but I occasionally have nightmares that involve a figure in a black cape and red face/mask. It sort of reminds me of asian oni masks, with two bottom teeth sticking out like tusks. It never actually does anything in the dreams, it just stands still and stares. When I think of what I'm sensing in my room, I tend to picture it as a tall, shadowy figure, and I tend to think of it as male.
One last thing is I tend to feel the bottom of my bed shaking? I'll be in bed and it will feel like my legs are vibrating, and if I sit up and touch the bed with my hands I can feel the shaking. It's always the bottom half, and tends to happen randomly. I've noticed I sometimes get bruises on my legs but don't remember banging them against anything. Could this be related at all?
Anyway I think I've written enough! I just had to get this off of my chest haha. Thank you for reading!
First of all, I've had experiences with the paranormal from a young age. When I was a baby my great-grandmother died, and when I was around 3-5 years old I would apparently see her sitting at the bottom of my bed, and would even talk to her (although I don't remember this, I'm just going from what my family have told me). My grandmother also saw this ghost when she was staying at our house. She happened to be sleeping in my room at the time, I think my room has the most activity? I remember once I caught a climpse of a white figure gliding into my bedroom.
It's been several years since that though, and I haven't seen or sensed her since (I still live in the same house, I'm 17 years old now, so about 10 years since that sighting).
I've started to sense something else though, and to be honest I'm starting to worry a bit about it! The first time I started feeling something strange was when I was around 13-14. It's hard to describe the feeling, it's almost as if something is standing by my bed (always on the left side by my closet) and I get a feeling of dread wash over me. It's an incredibly intense sensation. At first I'd just try and ignore it, or hide under my covers, but it soon became hard to ignore. Eventually I started sleeping downstairs to avoid it. I couldn't even go into my room on some days. Around this time I was diagnosed with depression, and I'd occasionally self harm and have suicidal thoughts. I eventually spoke to my mother about it but she brushed it off, saying it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I assumed it was some sort of manifestation of the negative emotions I'd been going through.
My mother did agree to let my grandmother's friend check out my room. She's able to sense spirits, and she stood in my room for a while, but said she sensed nothing (although she said I had a lot of negative energy centered in my stomach area?). I honestly know nothing about these things haha. It's interesting that she said that I have the 'gift' too, I'd be interested in learning more about this subject.
The presence eventually stopped when I finished school (which played a part in my depression) and I thought it was over. Recently though it's started again, and it seems just as bad as before. I try and leave the TV on but turn the volume off, because it seems to ward off the feeling and I find it comforting in a way. I've started to simply stay up late to avoid going to bed though, and I've barely had any sleep because of this. I'm exhausted constantly and I just want this to end.
I'm not sure if this is related, but I occasionally have nightmares that involve a figure in a black cape and red face/mask. It sort of reminds me of asian oni masks, with two bottom teeth sticking out like tusks. It never actually does anything in the dreams, it just stands still and stares. When I think of what I'm sensing in my room, I tend to picture it as a tall, shadowy figure, and I tend to think of it as male.
One last thing is I tend to feel the bottom of my bed shaking? I'll be in bed and it will feel like my legs are vibrating, and if I sit up and touch the bed with my hands I can feel the shaking. It's always the bottom half, and tends to happen randomly. I've noticed I sometimes get bruises on my legs but don't remember banging them against anything. Could this be related at all?
Anyway I think I've written enough! I just had to get this off of my chest haha. Thank you for reading!