“There are no ordinary moments!”
Back in high school, my favorite teacher was Mr. Leight, who I had for AP Government. The class was really hard, but he was a good teacher, and it was hard for a purpose. Everyone who takes AP classes knows theres this akward period after the AP tests and before finals where not much is going on. Some teachers just get lazy and dont do anything, which is usually what the students like. But Mr. Leight took it upon himself to use this extra time to teach his students two important things that would help us, in college and beyond: How to write a good term paper, and the meaning of life.
If you want to read what I wrote for it, click here. But be warned.. its 21 pages long, poorly written and highly unorganized. And its pretty straight out anti-religion. But it has a message. A pretty deep one. And Forrest Gump quotes, if you like that kind of thing (I know I do!).
Anyways, since I doubt many people will read it, I'll give a little summary:
As the title implies, its about why things happen, and how should one live.
On the why things happen front, I state that ish happens as a result of three forces:
1) Your own actions
2) people around you's actions
3) randomness in the universe
On the how should one live front, I say that theres a simple 5-step program that leads to happiness:
1) realize the problem
2) realize how much time you actually have on earth
3) awareness of everything
4) learning to let go
5) learn to be independent
And all of these need to be applied in a 6th step, Understand all the previous steps and apply them to every day life.
Alright, so anyways, on with my story.
As you can tell, back in the day I was a thinker. That was back in high school though. 10th and 11th grade, with this one essay in 12th. As I'm sure I've mentioned before, this 10th grade period is seriously the turning point in my life. It was a time when the only cd I listend to was the Gorillaz. Everything has been really different since then, and its changed my outlook on life, and lately I feel like I've sort of lost everything that I gained during that period. I lost my clarity and understanding.
So today, like every other monday, wednesday or friday, I have a big break from 11am until 2pm. And during this long break, part of it usually involves me sitting outside, because theres only so much to do on campus, and I just get to a point where theres nothing left to do but wait out the rest of the break on a bench. Today though, I was REALLY bored. My iPod had not been charged, nobody was around, and I still had 45 minutes before class.
This girl in a red coat thingie that girls wear comes up to me and asks if I'm busy, and if I'd like to talk. Perfect timing, I think.
"Sure," I say. She mentions something like she likes to tell people about her faith, and I think "oh shits, this should be fun." So we start talking. She asks me what religion I am, and I say something about not really having a religion and it sort of being my own little thing... you know, me typically not knowing what I'm saying.
The whole time, actually, I didnt really know what I was saying. Its weird because I forgot how I felt about things. I mention something about thinking alot back in high school (what I mentioned above), and how it made me depressed, and the afterwards, everything was clear and I was happy. This must have struck a chord with her because she kept asking me more questions and asking me to explain a little bit more, but I couldnt. so sad. She (I forgot her name... but I know it started with an S, so I'm gonna call her S from now on) seemed kind of impressed with this depression thing, stating that not many people would think like that to the point of depression. She said that normally people would get to that point, then pull back and say "this is stupid," then go back to watching MTV(okay she didnt say the mtv thing, but I did muahah). She said I was one of the few human beings that would take it to that level, and of course, I got a little flattered.. But anyways!
S started to tell me about her thang. About her story. How she was looking for meaning in life, and how she started reading the Bible alot when she was 12 or 13. Alot of what she was saying, I could see myself going through the same things, minus the bible.
The thing is she was raised Christian her whole life. That was her family life. She says she truly became Christian when she was like 15, and it wasnt a concious thing. She just realized she was happy and that she loved God, and her words it was "the most natural thing in the world."
And again, I can see myself in her, minus the jesus talk.
At this point, I'm really enjoying talking to her, but its getting close to class time. I know shes an evangelist, especially because she states it herself, but I dont care. I guess because I can relate to her story, except for one major difference.
Up to this point, our stories are kind of similar, but she reaches a totally different conclusion: she states that the only thing that matters is the afterlife. I was with her right up until that. But at this point i had like 10 minutes until class and she was deep into her big speach. I didnt get a chance to like question it, but oh well, thats not the point.
My conclusion is to live in the moment, that the neither the future or the past matter. just as a reference point. read the crappy essay. But how could we reach such separate conclusions?
I guess it has to do with how we were raised. Me, with no religion to turn to, didnt turn to that as an answer to the question "what does it all mean?"
Anyways Its late and I want to wrap this up. And I know by this point, nobody is reading anymore...
So anyways, I thought she was cool, but I had class to go to. she told me she was out there everyday doing the same thing, and I told her that if she ever saw me again, she should come over and talk. I'm really hoping I do run into her again. She was a thinker, and thats awesome to find in people my age. I love it! I would have liked for it to be more of a debate, or even more of a conversation towards the end, but I was happy listening to what she had to say. Really interesting stuff.
And Im ending.... now!