Let's take my idea of a dream, shall we?
Every day is full to the brim with those little moments that make you wonder if people want you to leave this place -- if people think you'll amount to anything outside of this place... Then somebody always brings some form of brutal reality into what you want, and you are left to explain yourself. But they don't let you, do they? The keep on talking about other options that are easier. I don't want the easy way out. I want to work.
My friend gave me a ride to that band gathering today, and on the way home, I felt like I was in a car full of people who just wanted to defeat me. Over and over again.
Girl: I'm thinking about applying to Brown.
Me: Perhaps Brandeis... Tulane... BU... NYU... I just have to get away from home. I can't stay here. I'll go crazy.
Girl's mother: You should apply to UCONN. It's two hours away. That's pretty far.
Me: I don't want UCONN. That's not where I want to be.
Girls' mother: Well, it's cheaper. And it's pretty good. You can save money for grad school.
Me: It's about the history program... about the experience, and the professors, and the location. I can't stay in Connecticut.
Girl: What do you want to be?
Me: I stare blankly at this. How can she not know? A historian.
Girl's mother: What are you going to do with a degree in that? Your undergrad won't matter.
Me: Become a historian? Most historians teach at colleges or high schools, or write books or do research. The undergrad is about the program, and Brandeis is notorious for putting people in pretty damn good grad schools.
Girl's mother: Okay then...
Yea. So that was a great conversation in the car. I mentioned applying abroad 'cause it's cheaper and I need a new experience. The mother said that if I wanted to major in American history that wouldn't be a good idea. It occurred to me that these people obviously didn't know what the hell they were talking about, because you don't need to be in an American school to learn American history. Hell, I'd think that American history in a Scottish school would be brilliant. That's like saying that you need to go to a European school to study European history. Ridiculous.
I was annoyed that it was perfectly acceptable for my friend to want to go to Brown, yet for me Brandeis seemed to out of reach. Anybody can make anything happen. You don't need the money up front to go ANYWHERE. There is always a loophole -- another way out of a financial quagmire. Hell, if the education is worth it, I'd pay the bills 'til I'm old. Education is worth something like that. It's worth the money.
It seems that these people don't expect me to leave Connecticut. They don't expect me to aim for the higher school; the private institution. I don't want the opinion of so-and-so's mother on what colleges I should apply to. Yea, I'll consider some of the schools these people recommend, but the whole you'd-be-best-at-UCONN thing offended me. UCONN is becoming a much better school, but I don't want that at all. I want to forge my own experiences. I want to make these choices... that's what my guidance counselor is there for -- a little help... recommendations... options.
This is nothing, I know. Nothing at all. It just annoys me that people think they know so much about you, then they make these foolish recommendations. They talk about something like they know everything, yet they know nothing. I'm not saying that I know anything about the college application process (other than it is damn annoying), but I'm saying that when it's your subject, you generally know quite a lot about the background, etc.
My friend gave me a ride to that band gathering today, and on the way home, I felt like I was in a car full of people who just wanted to defeat me. Over and over again.
Girl: I'm thinking about applying to Brown.
Me: Perhaps Brandeis... Tulane... BU... NYU... I just have to get away from home. I can't stay here. I'll go crazy.
Girl's mother: You should apply to UCONN. It's two hours away. That's pretty far.
Me: I don't want UCONN. That's not where I want to be.
Girls' mother: Well, it's cheaper. And it's pretty good. You can save money for grad school.
Me: It's about the history program... about the experience, and the professors, and the location. I can't stay in Connecticut.
Girl: What do you want to be?
Me: I stare blankly at this. How can she not know? A historian.
Girl's mother: What are you going to do with a degree in that? Your undergrad won't matter.
Me: Become a historian? Most historians teach at colleges or high schools, or write books or do research. The undergrad is about the program, and Brandeis is notorious for putting people in pretty damn good grad schools.
Girl's mother: Okay then...
Yea. So that was a great conversation in the car. I mentioned applying abroad 'cause it's cheaper and I need a new experience. The mother said that if I wanted to major in American history that wouldn't be a good idea. It occurred to me that these people obviously didn't know what the hell they were talking about, because you don't need to be in an American school to learn American history. Hell, I'd think that American history in a Scottish school would be brilliant. That's like saying that you need to go to a European school to study European history. Ridiculous.
I was annoyed that it was perfectly acceptable for my friend to want to go to Brown, yet for me Brandeis seemed to out of reach. Anybody can make anything happen. You don't need the money up front to go ANYWHERE. There is always a loophole -- another way out of a financial quagmire. Hell, if the education is worth it, I'd pay the bills 'til I'm old. Education is worth something like that. It's worth the money.
It seems that these people don't expect me to leave Connecticut. They don't expect me to aim for the higher school; the private institution. I don't want the opinion of so-and-so's mother on what colleges I should apply to. Yea, I'll consider some of the schools these people recommend, but the whole you'd-be-best-at-UCONN thing offended me. UCONN is becoming a much better school, but I don't want that at all. I want to forge my own experiences. I want to make these choices... that's what my guidance counselor is there for -- a little help... recommendations... options.
This is nothing, I know. Nothing at all. It just annoys me that people think they know so much about you, then they make these foolish recommendations. They talk about something like they know everything, yet they know nothing. I'm not saying that I know anything about the college application process (other than it is damn annoying), but I'm saying that when it's your subject, you generally know quite a lot about the background, etc.