This is me now
"I'm very much in love with my boyfriend, and I'm very happy with him."
That's what I wrote in January.
I wish I was happy...
James and I got into another argument. "I drove by your work last night, you weren't there. Where were you?" He drove all the way to Holiday??? So I'm a liar. I refuse to think that it's been my job that's changed me so much. I feel like I'm not treated right, but at the same time...I don't deserve to be treated any different. I deserve what I am. I'm a foul-mouthed liar and wannabe badass chick with an attitude now. This isn't me.
Jeremy also stopped by today. My best friend. Well, at least I used to think so. Now he's just one of those friends to share that witty reparte with who inevitably makes you feel like you're insignificant. No one likes who I am anymore. Pretty bad when my best friend doesn't really want anything to do with me.
I suppose there's at least one person now. I guess someone who hasn't completely given up on me. Not that he knows me that well, but he's someone who really believes that my character isn't defined by my choice of profession. I could say so much more, but I'll leave that to my private journal. (Not that anything in my life is really private right now....)
I'm going to try to do something to take my mind off of this, maybe play my clarinet...haven't done that in so long.
That's what I wrote in January.
I wish I was happy...
James and I got into another argument. "I drove by your work last night, you weren't there. Where were you?" He drove all the way to Holiday??? So I'm a liar. I refuse to think that it's been my job that's changed me so much. I feel like I'm not treated right, but at the same time...I don't deserve to be treated any different. I deserve what I am. I'm a foul-mouthed liar and wannabe badass chick with an attitude now. This isn't me.
Jeremy also stopped by today. My best friend. Well, at least I used to think so. Now he's just one of those friends to share that witty reparte with who inevitably makes you feel like you're insignificant. No one likes who I am anymore. Pretty bad when my best friend doesn't really want anything to do with me.
I suppose there's at least one person now. I guess someone who hasn't completely given up on me. Not that he knows me that well, but he's someone who really believes that my character isn't defined by my choice of profession. I could say so much more, but I'll leave that to my private journal. (Not that anything in my life is really private right now....)
I'm going to try to do something to take my mind off of this, maybe play my clarinet...haven't done that in so long.