Rant
Yeah, I'm probably going to get a lot of pissed off people with this one, but I don't care. Knowing me, I'll apologize 20 times before I'm done with it anyway.
This is the last thing I'm ever going to say about the subject, then I'm done. Completely. I won't ever complain about it again from here on out, I just need to get it out.
Rant about her:
I can't talk to her about anything. "I had a nightmare last night again." ---ignores me---
Been having them a lot lately, but I can't talk to her about them.
I try to talk to her all the time.
We argue, she says something nasty and then comes back in later "I just ate so-and-so many calories. I a m g o i n g t o d i e . "
She sees me writing on a little notepad of paper "you writing Brian a note?"
Everything is about how I've hurt her. How I've affected her.
I tell her "I'm sorry Jess. I don't like to fight. I'm sorry for being bitter and sarcastic. I just didn't sleep well last night" and of course she replies with sarcasm.
Last night she comes up to me and sees my sharpener or something and she tells me about Josh how he sharpens pencils with a knife, so I gave her my automatic sharpener because I have two. She said that she'd tell him that it came from me, but I don't really care about that. Poor kid uses a knife to sharpen his pencils. That's really sad. =/
Ok back to my rant.
"I need to borrow a ratty shirt of yours that you never wear and seeing as thoough you have so many clothes."
And then I say something I forgot what it was..."...don't even start jen!"
As she walks to my closet and takes whatever she wants and walks out "And seeing as though you have 3 of my instruments..." as she always says. Because the piano and electric keyboard my parents bought won't fit in her house anyway...but she's going to make me feel guilty for using them in the house of course. They aren't being used...I suppose I'm not supposed to touch them, just let them collect dust and serve no purpose whatsoever.
"You care more about him than anyone else.
Why does she have to do that? It's not my fault she can't fix things with him. Because she cared too much about her own self for so long that she only said "oh hi" and little phrases here and there for so long and then claimed to have lost an amazing friendship. Maybe their friendship ending wasn't just about "one email"---maybe it's been about more than that for a while? I don't know, I don't have room to say anything, not my business. It's her deal. Just don't take it out on me, I didn't do it.
Hung out with her yesterday. Every time I tried to talk to her she'd interrupt as if she wasn't even listening in the first place. It's ok. I know she doesn't care.
She doesn't care if I sit in my room crying about all the things he's going through and how sick the poor kid is...all she cares about is that he's not talking to her.
That's all that matters, you see.
Everything in the entire universe all boils down to "how is this going to affect me?"
I started talking yesterday about college, "I'm sorry that we fight. And that we don't talk that much or hang out. When I go back to Stetson we're going to be saying 'I wish we hung out more, now she's gone." But what did she do? She ignored me. Oh, and mentioned all her other friends that she hasn't hung out with or seen that she needs to see. I forgot...I'm not a friend, I'm just the sister.
We hung out yesterday and whenever she wanted to leave it was "I'm ready to go"...even while I was still eating. I'd say, "what do you want to do?"
She wanted to do something that didn't involve money. Ok. I said, "why don't we go to the park or the beach?" Whatever it is that she does with her other friends.... "Want to come over and we can just watch movies?"
"I'm tired," she says.
"Ok well you can come over and sleep in my bed if you want?"
"I'm ready to go---let's go."
So we get in the car and she calls Sean's mom to talk about the baby and bringing her over....etc...
Since she was done with me she was going to take me home. But no, she still needed me to go with her to pick up Aralynn because she didn't want to be in an uncomfortable position seeing a man who just got his leg amputated and who drank his life away. So I went.
Then we got home and I thanked her for dinner. She probably didn't hear me.
She says, "You're probably going to say no, but can I borrow your cell phone until tomorrow in case something happens?"
"Sure. No problem."
Today before she left: "Are you going to let me wear the fairy costume to work [so I can win the $50 gift card]?"
Because I'm not good for much else except giving her clothes and whatever else she needs that I have.
When I started out at Carino's I spent my first couple paychecks from hostessing buying dress clothes because I didn't have any, and the job required me to dress up. She says that I put it all on my credit card and mom paid it. No...I used my first couple paychecks, and debited the money from my bank account. I worked to pay for all the clothes that I bought. But she says that I have so much, she has so little. So she comes over and takes clothes all the time. Which I don't care about, just the fact that it takes 3 weeks to get something back. And that she doesn't think that I worked and earned the money to pay for the things that I have.
Oh yes, and she had to have that fairy costume right? It's not good enough for her now. hahahahaha.
"Can I borrow a pair of pants?"
"Sure borrow whatever you want."
"What do you want for them?"
"Nothing you'd ever give."
"What?!"
"No. What I want is for you to act like a sister, a friend, a person who doesn't disgust you. Just be nice to me!!!!!"
She walks out of the room.
"Forget it. I'll just wear the same dirty pants I've worn for 2 days. Since it is my only pair of pants.
I'm sorry, did I ask for too much?
I must have asked her for her bank account or her first born. (even though I love the little drool-wiggle-pixie.)
hahaha or "Can I have a sip of that? I wanted to try it."
I just give it to her and go back into the kitchen to get another glass. She never says thank you for anything.
Or when I came home from stetson and with the couple dollars I had left bought her flowers. (She cries because she never gets flowers from Chris.) So I bought her some roses and went into the bedroom and brought them to her. She opened her eyes, turned around and went back to sleep. I just laid them on the bed for her when she woke up. She woke up and didn't say anything. I think she told me thank you a few hours later though.
Ok, I feel ten times better because I just sat with the little squeeky-bop and watched spongebob. =^.^=
She said "mmmmmmmmmom" hehehehe awwwwww.
I'm feeling a lot better now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I just needed to get it out.
I'm going to go lay down for a while. Got up early and didn't go to bed till 5. lol...I have no voice again!!!
I hope "he's" doing ok today. Feel better hun. xoxo
This is the last thing I'm ever going to say about the subject, then I'm done. Completely. I won't ever complain about it again from here on out, I just need to get it out.
Rant about her:
I can't talk to her about anything. "I had a nightmare last night again." ---ignores me---
Been having them a lot lately, but I can't talk to her about them.
I try to talk to her all the time.
We argue, she says something nasty and then comes back in later "I just ate so-and-so many calories. I a m g o i n g t o d i e . "
She sees me writing on a little notepad of paper "you writing Brian a note?"
Everything is about how I've hurt her. How I've affected her.
I tell her "I'm sorry Jess. I don't like to fight. I'm sorry for being bitter and sarcastic. I just didn't sleep well last night" and of course she replies with sarcasm.
Last night she comes up to me and sees my sharpener or something and she tells me about Josh how he sharpens pencils with a knife, so I gave her my automatic sharpener because I have two. She said that she'd tell him that it came from me, but I don't really care about that. Poor kid uses a knife to sharpen his pencils. That's really sad. =/
Ok back to my rant.
"I need to borrow a ratty shirt of yours that you never wear and seeing as thoough you have so many clothes."
And then I say something I forgot what it was..."...don't even start jen!"
As she walks to my closet and takes whatever she wants and walks out "And seeing as though you have 3 of my instruments..." as she always says. Because the piano and electric keyboard my parents bought won't fit in her house anyway...but she's going to make me feel guilty for using them in the house of course. They aren't being used...I suppose I'm not supposed to touch them, just let them collect dust and serve no purpose whatsoever.
"You care more about him than anyone else.
Why does she have to do that? It's not my fault she can't fix things with him. Because she cared too much about her own self for so long that she only said "oh hi" and little phrases here and there for so long and then claimed to have lost an amazing friendship. Maybe their friendship ending wasn't just about "one email"---maybe it's been about more than that for a while? I don't know, I don't have room to say anything, not my business. It's her deal. Just don't take it out on me, I didn't do it.
Hung out with her yesterday. Every time I tried to talk to her she'd interrupt as if she wasn't even listening in the first place. It's ok. I know she doesn't care.
She doesn't care if I sit in my room crying about all the things he's going through and how sick the poor kid is...all she cares about is that he's not talking to her.
That's all that matters, you see.
Everything in the entire universe all boils down to "how is this going to affect me?"
I started talking yesterday about college, "I'm sorry that we fight. And that we don't talk that much or hang out. When I go back to Stetson we're going to be saying 'I wish we hung out more, now she's gone." But what did she do? She ignored me. Oh, and mentioned all her other friends that she hasn't hung out with or seen that she needs to see. I forgot...I'm not a friend, I'm just the sister.
We hung out yesterday and whenever she wanted to leave it was "I'm ready to go"...even while I was still eating. I'd say, "what do you want to do?"
She wanted to do something that didn't involve money. Ok. I said, "why don't we go to the park or the beach?" Whatever it is that she does with her other friends.... "Want to come over and we can just watch movies?"
"I'm tired," she says.
"Ok well you can come over and sleep in my bed if you want?"
"I'm ready to go---let's go."
So we get in the car and she calls Sean's mom to talk about the baby and bringing her over....etc...
Since she was done with me she was going to take me home. But no, she still needed me to go with her to pick up Aralynn because she didn't want to be in an uncomfortable position seeing a man who just got his leg amputated and who drank his life away. So I went.
Then we got home and I thanked her for dinner. She probably didn't hear me.
She says, "You're probably going to say no, but can I borrow your cell phone until tomorrow in case something happens?"
"Sure. No problem."
Today before she left: "Are you going to let me wear the fairy costume to work [so I can win the $50 gift card]?"
Because I'm not good for much else except giving her clothes and whatever else she needs that I have.
When I started out at Carino's I spent my first couple paychecks from hostessing buying dress clothes because I didn't have any, and the job required me to dress up. She says that I put it all on my credit card and mom paid it. No...I used my first couple paychecks, and debited the money from my bank account. I worked to pay for all the clothes that I bought. But she says that I have so much, she has so little. So she comes over and takes clothes all the time. Which I don't care about, just the fact that it takes 3 weeks to get something back. And that she doesn't think that I worked and earned the money to pay for the things that I have.
Oh yes, and she had to have that fairy costume right? It's not good enough for her now. hahahahaha.
"Can I borrow a pair of pants?"
"Sure borrow whatever you want."
"What do you want for them?"
"Nothing you'd ever give."
"What?!"
"No. What I want is for you to act like a sister, a friend, a person who doesn't disgust you. Just be nice to me!!!!!"
She walks out of the room.
"Forget it. I'll just wear the same dirty pants I've worn for 2 days. Since it is my only pair of pants.
I'm sorry, did I ask for too much?
I must have asked her for her bank account or her first born. (even though I love the little drool-wiggle-pixie.)
hahaha or "Can I have a sip of that? I wanted to try it."
I just give it to her and go back into the kitchen to get another glass. She never says thank you for anything.
Or when I came home from stetson and with the couple dollars I had left bought her flowers. (She cries because she never gets flowers from Chris.) So I bought her some roses and went into the bedroom and brought them to her. She opened her eyes, turned around and went back to sleep. I just laid them on the bed for her when she woke up. She woke up and didn't say anything. I think she told me thank you a few hours later though.
Ok, I feel ten times better because I just sat with the little squeeky-bop and watched spongebob. =^.^=
She said "mmmmmmmmmom" hehehehe awwwwww.
I'm feeling a lot better now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I just needed to get it out.
I'm going to go lay down for a while. Got up early and didn't go to bed till 5. lol...I have no voice again!!!
I hope "he's" doing ok today. Feel better hun. xoxo