So I've realized...
I don't have any respect for myself. I don't believe I do. I go out of my comfort zone to make sure that other people are happy and content, and you'd think it'd come back full circle, a little reward for being a good person and going out of your way to do things you don't necessarily agree with.
But no.
And the biggest problem out of this is I don't know how to fix it. I'm sick of it, and believe it's some kind of solution if I just bitch about it. Think that if I vent it out one-more-time I'll feel satisfied and gain some sort of confidence from letting all the bad emotions out. Slap myself on the wrist and say "I won't let it happen to me again", and move on from there. But it happens anyway, and my head spins around wondering what did I do to deserve it.
And just as much as the next person, I fear loss. I think there will be an undesirable loss if I break away from the problem. I don't want to lose.
So my question for you, whoever reads this, is how do you respect yourself? I could use a few pointers at the moment..