Everyone gets their godsmack, eventually...
I find myself taking a good hard look at my mortality, lately. What would be said of me, if I were to pass on today? Could much be said at all? Of course the typical ramblings of a young life lost before it's time. Mutterings of the goals and dreams left unfulfilled. *whine* Bah! Such a stupid life I've lead myself into. Blindly following this heart into paths of oblivion. How could I have been so foolish...? Believing the world was any place for my heart to go poking about in. Naively leading, ignorantly following. If it feels good in the heart, go with it. I'm told that by all. How does what I feel always come to be so very wrong.
I fucked up my hand tonight at work, I accidentally punched it into hard, cracked plastic while trying to make a hole in the bottom of a rubbermaid container that we put wet shake machine parts in to store, so the water will drain out the bottom of it instead of sitting in the bottom festering germs. (a lot of times I don't know my own strength) My friend and the manager who is training me to manage my own store kept asking me if I was alright, because it looks worse than it really feels, and I'm fine. But the only thing I could think about was how the pain was a good thing...it was reminding me I'm alive.
I'm not sure if I should take that idea and run with it, here...I mean, is the pain I feel emotionally also there to serve that very reminder? Because that's a truly twisted reality for me...
Will this heart ever find comfort in the land it wanders...
I fucked up my hand tonight at work, I accidentally punched it into hard, cracked plastic while trying to make a hole in the bottom of a rubbermaid container that we put wet shake machine parts in to store, so the water will drain out the bottom of it instead of sitting in the bottom festering germs. (a lot of times I don't know my own strength) My friend and the manager who is training me to manage my own store kept asking me if I was alright, because it looks worse than it really feels, and I'm fine. But the only thing I could think about was how the pain was a good thing...it was reminding me I'm alive.
I'm not sure if I should take that idea and run with it, here...I mean, is the pain I feel emotionally also there to serve that very reminder? Because that's a truly twisted reality for me...
Will this heart ever find comfort in the land it wanders...