The Wormwood Legacy 1.24
Hey Livejournal. It's me Adela Wormwood, again. I finally got that stupid computer running a web browser and I know you've all be wondering what's going on in my life, especially after that television interview. It makes me really sad to think about all the hits my old site would have gotten... :(
So after BritBrit basically told the world that Mom was officially a GRANDMA, Mom flipped out and tried to strangle Brit with her bare hands. Money or no money, I think her brain broke when the world was told Mom was O-L-D. So we pried Mom off Brit and luckily the TV crew wasn't filming and Mom only got court ordered psychiatric evaluation. She decided to drag me along for a session today. "This genius has completely cured me," Mom said. Riiiiiight.
"This is Dr. Richard Lewis. He is my doctor Adela and I want you to have a little chat with him."
"Mom, I didn't get caught strangling the foster child. I don't HAVE to have a shrink."
"Just indulge me, my daughter. It's not like you have boys beating down the door to date you. Oh dear me, there's no beating anything at all since your website got shut down. NOW SIT DOWN. Call me in when you are finished."
"Hello Adela. I'm Dr. Richard. I've heard a lot about you from your mother."
"Seriously doc, why do I have to be here? I'm the only normal one in the whole family. Did you see me trying to strangle my foster sister on a sound stage?" I couldn't believe that she was making me do this.
"Well... no. But can I help you to understand your mother a little better?" He smelled like a cheap leather sofa.
"I think I know her better than you do, Doc." Mom loves money, cars and being in charge. She also likes killing people, but nobody can know about that... Stupid Nanny Karen, stupid Byron, stupid me...
"Do you know that she loves you?"
"SHUT UP!"
"Renee Wormwood loves her children more than anything in the world."
"That's a LIE. She only keeps us around so that we will take care of her in her old age. I'm supposed to land a rich dude and screw him until he gives me his money and then she can TAKE it! She only tolerates Byron because he knocked up the trailer slut and she inherited the big bucks! I AM USELESS TO HER NOW!
"I understand that you never knew your father, Adela."
"I know that he was a freaking transvestite freak! I've seen the photos! I know that every time I do something that RENEE doesn't like she shakes her head and mutters "That's the Goopy in you..." Every, single, damn time.
"I'm lucky I look better in a dress than he did."
"Your mom had to work very hard to raise you and your brother..."
"I remember her working very hard... to sell her ass! Mom was nothing more than a whore, she worked at a honest to god brothel, Doc!"
"Now Adela, she was a compassion hostess. There's no shame in being a sex worker. Millions of people work in that trade. They provide joy and companionship in a tidy service for a fee."
"How many of those compassion hostesses take their children on their street-walking? Huh Doc? Huh!?"
"Did she have a nanny, Adela? Wasn't she a single widowed mother alone? She didn't have anyone to rely on but herself, so she took you with her instead of abandoning you at home. She was destitute and needed to support you."
"She would have had a nanny if the old bitch hadn't gotten greedy..."
"What?"
"... Oh, never mind Doc! Tell me more about Mom." That was close... I had to stop this. He was pushing all my buttons and I was getting sloppy.
"Adela, your mother told me that you... are her favorite child. She knows mothers aren't supposed to favor one child over another, but you remind her, of herself."
"Well, she does love herself..."
"She wants to have a good relationship with you, she wants you to grow and live and be a wonderful young woman. You just have to let her in, Adela..."
God, it was so tempting. All I've ever wanted was for Mom to hug me the way she did when we killed the nanny. I can still remember the feel of her arms and the smile on her face. "I'm so proud of you..." Stupid me.
"I'll think about it Doc." Its all I ever think about, really, finding something to fill that giant hole in my chest where my heart was supposed to be.
"That's all I can ask for, Adela. You can go now and please send in your mother."
---
"Is she gone, Renee?"
"Yes, Richard. She ran out of here to her after school job. What did you tell her?"
"Everything you wanted me to."
"Good. I'll excuse myself to the bathroom for a moment."
"Now Richard... what are you going to say at the court hearing next month?"
"You are my shining star! My GODDESS! I worship every inch of your silken pale skin..."
"NOT THAT. What are you going to tell the judge!?"
"You are completely sane, cured and in control. You regret everything that you've ever done and your children with testify to your change in behavior."
"That's right. I'll be Granny-Freaking-Betty-Crocker. Get up!"
"It's so nice that you took your Viagra this morning Richard, so nice and hard."
"I saw you on the appointment book Renee and I doubled the dosage."
"If my body makes your heart stop, can I have your car?"
"YES! YES! YES!"