The Wormwood Legacy 1.21
Hey there Diary, it's me. Byron Wormwood. You know... the loser, the second-place finisher, the wuss and everything else that Adela calls me on a daily basis. You know what? I'm sick of it. I can't sleep at night sometimes because my stomach twists up in knots and the bitterness rises in my throat and I have to go throw up just to relieve the pain. It's all her fault. Adela's.
She named me, you know? Mom was too busy doing someone else at the time. Adela wasn't the best babysitter either. She'd randomly pinch me to make me cry and then scream at me for crying.
She jokes about dropping me on my head to see if I bounced. It's not a joke. It really hurt. One of my first memories is of Adela leaning over my crib and telling me, "Stupid baby. You're never going to replace me." I don't want to replace you Adela, now I want to humiliate you. I want to destroy your smug smile. I want to do everything to you that you have done to me with an extra sprinkling of cruelty. And I want my girlfriend back. I miss her.
Britney has been whispering to me at home when Adela isn't around. "Byron, sweetheart... Your mom is really scary but Adela's worse. She's so confusing! She's nice to me and then she's mean... You love me, right? Can you do anything? She's making me do... things and she's taking pictures with her webcam... and Byron I don't want to be like Sis! I don't want to be a part of that life!"
"Mom, can I join a gaming club after school before my job?"
"How much will it cost?"
"Nothing, its free."
"Why you would want to hang out with geeks is beyond me, but that's fine."
"Mom, that's Byron's natural element, losers, geeks and weirdos. I bet he gets a tattoo of a twelve-sided die on his ass. Come on dork, the school bus is here."
Search Query: www.adelakisses.com
Search Query: "wipe hard drive"
Search Query: "ISP violations"
My new friends at Club Quark were very helpful. They showed me what a web cache was, a few slightly illegal password logger programs and when they found out who my sister was they vowed to assist me in my cause. Adela is too fond of noogies, swirlies and slashing people's tires.
"Oh good grief, all I'm asking for is for you to pose a little, stick out the goods more and lick your lips. Sheesh, fine. CRY if you have to. Some of the guys like that streaky Emo in pain look."
"Adela, I don't want to do this anymore! I'm not going to be like my Mom- I mean my Sister!"
"Do you see me rolling my eyes? Just look at it as paying rent."
"The State pays my rent!"
"Do you WANT me to tell Mom that you're planning our wedding and she's going to have to wear pink triangle and rainbow buttons at the reception? That might be a wee bit... scary for you. Any way, this is FUN! Look at the comments we're getting! You should be happy that I'm making so much money!"
"Oh Britney, I'm sorry."
"What!?"
"Let me make it up to you. Shhh... See? I'm a reasonable person. Hush hush, it will be alright. Here let me take off that uncomfortable top..."
"WHATTHEHOLYHELL!"
"What's wrong, dear sister?"
"It's GONE. Everything is GONE! What happened? Did I get hacked? WHO DID THIS!?"
"... wow, that's terrible. Hope you fix it..."
"Get out of here, you're too stupid to live or help!"
Adela ranted and raved for a few hours, then she curled up in a ball in the corner of her room and wept silently for a few more hours.
She didn't speak to anyone for about a week. Adela never really thought much about the idea of 'redundant backups'.
I admit I made a few hard copies for myself of her last few shoots starring Britney. Man, she really did look hot in those costumes. I could eat dinner off of that ass... Britney! I mean Britney! Not my sister! Really!