Fic, Stargate SG-1, Why do these things always happen to me?, PG-13, 4/4
"How is Jolinar?" I ask of the healer, Rinok. "And her host."
"First, yes, it is Jolinar. I have compared a tissue sample of her code of life to what we have on file..." He is scanning them, and when he has finished, he looks to me again, a serious expression on his face. "Their wounds are very bad, and I cannot say their survival is assured. The most resent wound is from a staff weapon, so they have crossed paths with Jaffa. Jolinar is not healing her host as quickly as normally, and she is very weak. It looks as if she has changed host more than once during the last half year."
"My poor Jolinar!" I gently stroke her hand, doing my best to keep my composure.
Rinok takes another scanner and examines Jolinar more with it. "The transference to this host happened very recently. I believe it was no more than a day or so ago. I also believe she has not made all the connections yet - in fact, her tendrils had only barely regrown enough to connect fully."
"Is that why they are not healing correctly?" I ask.
"Most likely, because without the connections fully in place, a complete blending will probably not have been possible."
~That - or this host... Captain Samantha Carter, has not agreed to remain a permanent host.~ Lantash suddenly observes, sounding worried.
"Could...could it be that they are not blended because the host...because she hasn't agreed to be Jolinar's host, permanently? Could this have been a joining out of necessity, for them both?" I wonder.
"Possibly, but if they do not blend fully, Jolinar will not be able to save herself or her host - even with our assistance. I will repair her tendrils with a healing device, and then initiate the blending."
Lantash wants control, and I bow my head. "Perhaps...you should wait until we have talked to the host. Forcing her to remain Jolinar's host is...distasteful."
"It is the only way either of them will live! Do you not think this host will prefer life with Jolinar, instead of dying? What about your mate? Do you not want her to live?"
"Yes! Of course we want her to live! More than anything! However, we do not want to do something that is against everything she believes in!" Lantash exclaims, furious and heartbroken at the same time. ~Martouf?~
~I...love Jolinar. I cannot see her die when there is a way for her to live. I cannot.~
~Neither can I.~ He takes a deep breath and makes a decision. "Heal the tendrils - and initiate the full blending."
Rinok nods, and grabs a healing device. "Please give me some space to work."
Lantash takes a few steps back, and with baited breath we wait as Rinok works.
First Rinok uses a healing device on Jolinar. Then he picks up an injector, and presses it against her neck, then takes a small device that I have no idea what is used for. He runs it over her neck for a few moments, then gives her another injection, then take the healing device again. After a few moments he starts running the healing device over her and her host's entire body, focusing on critical points here and there.
"Well?" Lantash asks, anxiously, when Rinok steps aside.
"I have healed the tendrils, and initiated the blending. From what I can tell, it is continuing as it should, and they will soon be fully blended. By then Jolinar will have better control of her host's body, and will be able to heal her - at least when she has regained some of her strength. I have given her a strengthening potion, and healed some of the worst damage to her host. Now their bodies must rest and heal on their own for a little while before I can use the healing device again. It is my hope that Jolinar's natural abilities will be strong enough that they will need little help after the blending is complete."
"Thank you. May we remain here?"
"Of course, but please do not disturb them in any way."
"I will not." Lantash sits down on a chair a short distance from the platform where our Jolinar is lying. Now all there is to do is wait and hope.
~I wish I knew what had happened to Rosha.~
~Jolinar knows. We will learn of it when she awakens.~ Lantash hugs me. ~I miss her so much! Our sweet Rosha!~
~Yes. I...cannot fathom that she is dead, but there can be no other explanation. Jolinar would never leave her, as you say.~
~She is beautiful. Jolinar's new host, I mean.~
~Yes, she is. I hope she will come to love us.~
~You know she will, now when they are fully blended.~
~She is not Rosha...is it betrayal if we take...Captain Samantha Carter as our mate?~
~No...it would be betrayal of Rosha's legacy, and of Jolinar, if we did not.~
~Is she truly of the Tau'ri, you think?~
~That is what she said.~ Lantash looks up as someone enters. It is Saroosh/Selmak. "Greetings."
"Hello, Lantash, Martouf." Saroosh looks at Jolinar on the platform. "How is she?"
"According to the healer, they are not quite out of danger yet, but we have hope they will pull through."
"That is good." Saroosh smiles a little sadly at us. "I am sorry about Rosha. We will all miss her."
Lantash nods. "We will. Very much."
"What is the name of Jolinar's new host?"
"She said...Captain Samantha Carter, but the first is almost certainly her rank. From her clothing, I believe she is a warrior on her world."
Saroosh nods. "That is quite possible. They are fully blended?"
"The healer initiated the full blending in order to allow Jolinar to heal her host better. He believes...they had not had time to do so, as it is probably not much more than a day since Jolinar entered this woman."
"I see. They seem to have been through much together already." She gives us a cunning look. "But you suspect there is another explanation?"
"I believe Jolinar would have found time to at least start the full blending, when their condition is as dire as this, and they need it to live! The only other explanation I can see is that her host... had not agreed to remain a host. Perhaps...she just agreed temporary, in order for both to live."
"If that is the case, there may be some problems when they wake up and are fully blended. Separating then will not be easy on the host. But then she may no longer want it."
"I do not like that thought! She would not have truly consented then!"
"Lantash, you are young and idealistic. Life has grey zones, and things are not always so black and white. As long as Jolinar did not take this host without getting her consent, then I am sure they will learn to get along."
"Yes. You are probably correct, Saroosh." Lantash smiles a little at her.
"What about you and Martouf? How do you feel about this new host of Jolinar's? She is taking the place of Rosha."
"We miss Rosha very badly, but we are grateful for...Samantha Carter, that she has brought our Jolinar home to us."
"She will be your mate - unless you decides not to continue the relationship. Can you be there for both of them? If this blending is something Samantha Carter will take time to accept, then both she and Jolinar will need your support and love. You must be certain you can give it."
"Of course we want the relationship to continue!" Lantash exclaims, harsher than he wanted to. "We both love Jolinar so very deeply. We could never give her up."
"And her new host? She should not just be accepted due to Jolinar, but loved for herself."
"I know, and while we do not yet know her, I do not believe that will be a problem. She is certainly attractive to us, and we know she is strong and brave. She brought our Jolinar back here, despite clearly having been attacked and injured by Jaffa."
"Good." Saroosh dips her head.
"You have my condolences for Rosha as well. I am relieved Jolinar has returned, at least, and I very much hope she will live. I look forward to thanking her new host for bringing Jolinar back here to us."
"As do we." Lantash sighs. "Thank you, Selmak and Saroosh. Right the pain from hearing of Rosha's death is very raw, but with Jolinar here with us, we will be all right, I believe. We do look forward to getting to know Samantha Carter."
"They are healing well now." Rinok says when he has finished scanning Jolinar and Samantha Carter. "The blending is complete. I believe they will regain consciousness tomorrow morning, at least."
"That sounds very good." I say, feeling very relieved.
"You should get something to eat, and sleep a little while. They will not be awake until tomorrow, and you are no help to them if you are exhausted."
"I am fine." I insist, Lantash agreeing with me.
"You are not 'fine', Martouf. You look exhausted! I am the healer, remember? I can order you to your rooms if I want to, and not allow you back after they have woken up!"
"Please, do not do that!" I say, terrified.
"I will not... if you do as I say. Go eat. Sleep some hours, then you will be allowed back here. Understood?"
"Yes." I sigh, and do as I am told. Lantash is making defiant comments in my head, but neither of us want to risk not being allowed to be there when Jolinar and Samantha Carter wakes up.
Sam POV
I slowly wake up. I try to remember what has happened, and where I am. Bits and pieces of what happened the last days are floating back to me. I was taken as a host - by a Tok'ra. The mere thought doesn't scare me any longer. So much has happened since then, and I have talked so much to Jolinar, that having her there feels...almost normal. Almost.
Right now I only feel her as a presence in the back of my mind, but it is strangely...comforting. I know that no matter where I am or what happens, I will not have to face it alone.
It doesn't feel like the intrusion I would have thought, to have her in my head. I mean, yes, she can read my thoughts if she want to, but I trust her - and somehow I don't mind.
Even less today than yesterday. Weird.
We were almost blown up, we were captured by Jaffa, we were shot by Jaffa... my body hurt everywhere, I could barely move, and Jolinar lost consciousness, I think. I must have done the same.
I have a vague memory of arriving home, that is, in Jolinar's home. I remember seeing people in beige outfits... one of which was... Martouf. I felt safe. I wonder how Jolinar's relationship with this Martouf is?
I realize I feel tingling from all around me, so I must be in a place where there are naquadah everywhere, and symbiotes everywhere. It feels...right.
Do I even dare move? I am afraid of how much my body will hurt! Eventually, I open my eyes and stretch - except for a mild soreness, nothing hurts!
~Wow, Jolinar! Well done!~ I tell her, even though I suspect she is sleeping. No doubt tired from healing me.
"Samantha Carter?" a familiar voice says, and I turn my head to see Martouf.
He was sitting on a chair nearby, and now got up and stepped up to my bed. "Yes." I look at him. "Martouf."
He nods. "Yes, I am Martouf." He stroke my hand.
I smile at him, feeling happiness when I see him. Love. I turn my hand over and take hold of his, then I frown. Love? He is very attractive, but I don't know this man! Why am I holding his hand? Why did he stroke my hand?
"I...am confused." I admit.
He smiles. "That is understandable. You are Captain Samantha Carter?"
"Yes. Captain is my rank. I guess... you could call me Samantha. I think that works better." Is he Jolinar's mate, I think? Part of me very much hopes so!
"Samantha. It is a beautiful name... for a beautiful woman."
I feel myself blush a little. "Thanks." I shake my head. "I feel...um, my feelings for you seems...weirdly stronger than they should have." I admit, feeling stupid. "Is it because of Jolinar?"
"Yes, it is. She is my mate. The healer was forced to initiate the full blending between you and Jolinar, in order for her to be able to save you. The blending causes your stronger emotions to merge - meaning you will feel what Jolinar feels." He looks at me with concern. "I am sorry if that is not what you wanted, but there was no other way, of you were to survive. Either of you."
I nod slowly. "It was not, but strangely enough...I am not angry. Worried about my future, yes, but not angry." I frown.
Martouf sighs. "That too is probably due to the blending."
"Wait, Jolinar is your mate?"
"She is, yes." He smiles at me, then looks searchingly at me. "I assume Jolinar is still asleep or unconscious?"
"Yes, I think so. She didn't react when I spoke to her at least."
"She is sleeping deeply, then, in order to regain her strength after the ordeal. I...will call for the healer. Just to confirm that all is well."
"Of course."
Martouf POV
The healer came quickly. Today another healer is on duty, her name is Silja. She scans Samantha and Jolinar, and confirms that Jolinar is merely in a deep resting sleep to regain her energy.
Samantha is healed, but will be somewhat sore for a day or so. She does not have to remain in the healers rooms, though.
"Would you like something to eat? Or would you perhaps prefer a bath first?" I ask.
Samantha is sitting up on the platform now, and she smiles - she look stunningly beautiful when she smiles! "Both sounds wonderful!" She grimaces as she touches her clothes. "But I think I'd like a bath first - do you know if there is some clothes I can borrow?"
"As Jolinar's new host, you have inherited all Rosha's clothes. However, Rosha was almost a full head smaller than you, and of a more slight build as well, so I do not believe you will be able to fit most of it." I consider it, and discuss it with Lantash. "There are clothes in the commissary, if nothing of Jolinar's will fit."
"Okay, let's take a look at it." Samantha says.
Sam POV
Martouf takes me through the corridors to the Jolinar's quarters, I assume. Or maybe he shares quarters with her? Since they are mates?
Martouf is Jolinar's mate! I am fully blended with Jolinar, and that probably explains why I feel her emotions for him. Not that Martouf isn't gorgeous enough that I might very well fall for him on my own, but I am not the type for love at first sight, so I think it would take longer.
We meet several Tok'ra on the way, all of which seem somehow familiar to me. Their names come to me, as I pass them. It is really weird. They have clearly heard about me, because they nod at me or greet me.
We reach some quarters, and enters. Are these Jolinar's? Or does she share them with Martouf? What about me, then? Where will I sleep? Jolinar said that a full blending means it is very difficult to separate, so will I remain her host permanently? And if I do, what about Martouf?
"I apologize, but the place is somewhat messy." Martouf says, picking up a shirt from the floor.
I notice more of what is obviously his clothes, and gets my answer, these quarters are his and Jolinar's.
"Wait, you said Jolinar is your mate - what does that mean? I mean, for me?"
"You are also my mate, of course." Martouf says, smiling a little shyly. "I hope you do not mind?" He adds, anxiously. "We understand if you want time to get to know us, of course. We will get some free time in which to learn more of each other."
"Um...I... I don't know what to say! I mean, I don't know you at all, but I have very strong feelings for you. Which is very weird. But you.. I mean, I'm just someone who accidentally became Jolinar's host... I can totally understand if you don't want me!"
"Samantha." Martouf takes my hand. "It is true that I do not know you, but I already like you. Lantash and I are very sure that we will come to love you very much." He entwines his fingers with mine. "Please tell me that you will at least give us a chance?"
"I...of course." I smile at him. "Everything is just so confusing - and I really wanted to go back to my life on Earth, but I realize that would be difficult, as host to Jolinar."
"Do you have a mate back on your world? The world of the Tau'ri?"
"No." I shake my head. "I do not. Yes, I am from the Tau'ri. I work for something called Stargate Command, and I consider my work important."
"What do you do?" Martouf asks, interested.
"I am a scientist, but also a...warrior, I guess is your word. We go through the Stargate...the chaapa'ai, as you call it, to look for technology to fight the Goa'uld and protect our world."
"That is very very dangerous, Samantha!"
"We don't have a choice! After we opened the Stargate a few years ago, we were attacked, and we need to defend ourselves. Anyway, don't you do the same, in a way?"
"Yes...we do. But the people of your world is...very new to the dangers of the Galaxy. You do not know what it is your are getting yourself into."
"Yeah, yeah...you're not the first to tell us." I sigh. "Anyway, I wanted to go back in order to continue doing this work, which is important to me."
"Can't you do the same here? We fight the Goa'uld as well."
"Yes...I suppose I can, but it is still difficult to just leave all you know behind, all your friends..."
Martouf nods. "I understand, and I realize it is hard for you to make a decision so quickly. Will you at least see if you can come to accept living among the Tok'ra? I am sure Anise or Malek would let you join one of the science groups."
He looks so very hopeful, and I can't make myself tell him no. Besides, I can't go home right now, if ever. Not as a host.
I nod slowly. "Yes, I will. I can't go home right now in any case. Who knows, maybe our people can become friends? In fact, I thought I'd suggest it?"
"You can talk to the Council about it. I am afraid they may not be very open to the idea, but it is worth trying."
"Jolinar said the same." I give him a wry grin. "We'll, let's look at those clothes, shall we?"
It turned out that there were a small number of dresses that were of the one-size-fits all type, that I could fit into, and I picked one of those, then took a wonderful bath. Fortunately, Martouf and Jolinar have a private bathroom, with their own bath, as many couples apparently do, because otherwise there are public pools, and I was not up for nude public bathing right now.
"Can we go to the commissary when we have eaten, and see what other clothes they have?" I ask, when I have bathed and dressed, and joined Martouf in the large room. "I'm not used to wearing dresses."
The quarters are made up of one large room with a large desk, several chairs, a table, and a couch. There is also a bathroom, and a bedroom, which is where the closets and drawers with clothes are.
"Of course." He smiles at me. "You look very good in that dress, though, Samantha."
"Um, thanks."
Why do I blush when he compliments me? I know why - he is gorgeous. Also, whether it's due to Jolinar's emotions affecting me, or because I am falling for him on my own, I know that I am feeling a very strong love for him. I want to hug him and kiss him - and remove that sadness from his face which appears frequently. When he is thinking of Rosha, I have no doubt.
We have just finished eating, and are on the way to the commissary, when Jolinar awakens. I stop for a moment, and hold up my hand. Martouf realizes, and stops beside me.
~Jolinar? Are you okay?~
~Yes, I am fine. I am no longer so completely exhausted as I was earlier. We are in the tunnels? With Martouf?~
~Yes. Healed up and safe.~
~And fully blended. I know, the healer caused it to happen.~
~From what I understand, there was no other choice.~
~True. You are not angry?~
~Not really. I do want to work towards finding a way to meet with my people, and ally with them. Then maybe we can do some sort of exchange program. Another thing...I am...ridiculous in love with Martouf. I take it that is your fault?~
~We share strong feelings like love when fully blended, yes, but my feelings should not have affected you so much so quickly - particularly since I was not conscious.~
~How, then?~
~It is no doubt partly from me, but I would guess it is also because you are genuinely attracted to Martouf.~
~I've never believed in love at first sight!~
~One time should be the first!~ Jolinar grins. ~May I have control?~
~Of course.~ I bow my head.
Jolinar takes control and immediately smiles at Martouf. "Beloved, I have missed you so much!"
"We have missed you terribly also, Jolinar."
They embrace each other tightly, and for several moments they just cling to each other. Then they kiss. The love, feelings of comfort, safety, happiness that is coursing through me from her is fantastic. I have never experienced anything so wonderful.
"I am sorry, I could not save Rosha." Jolinar says, and I suddenly feel terribly sad.
Martouf holds her close. "We know, please do not blame yourself. We mourn her deeply, but we are grateful to have you back."
Woops, not Martouf. Instead, his symbiote. Lantash. They must have switched control while they were embracing.
It is strange to hear the Tok'ra symbiotes talk. Before...I only thought of Goa'uld when I heard that voice, but I am already getting used to it coming from 'good guys'. Well, starting to get used to.
A flood of memories of Lantash and Martouf flows through my mind - many of them erotic. ~Whoa! Oversharing a bit, aren't we? I feel like I am intruding on your personal life!~
~If you intend to remain my host, you will also be Martouf and Lantash's mate. Do you object to that?~
~Well, um. That depends on...well, no, I suppose I don't.~
~Then you are part of this 'personal life'.~ She kisses Lantash again. "Shall we go to the commissary and see if there are some clothing Samantha might like?"
"Of course."
We ended up finding quite a lot of suitable clothes - and some very...a sexy ones as well, which Jolinar insisted on getting. I also managed to get several Tok'ra uniforms, because while I like dresses now and then, I am not used to wearing them as often as Jolinar likes.
So we will compromise.
After getting the clothes, we went to the Council, so Jolinar - and I - could be debriefed. That took a very long time, and when I thought all was over and we could leave, Jolinar pulled out a whammy of an information.
One of the Tok'ra was not who he said he was! Cordesh was an impostor, and sent by Cronus! It was he who caused Rosha and Jolinar to be discovered.
Cordesh was furious, but Jolinar insisted they search his quarters, which they did. They found a long range communicator, and Cordesh admitted his guilt - or rather started spewing angry stuff about how the Goa'uld would kill all the Tok'ra.
Suffice to say, Cordesh was removed from the Council, and he was actually taken to be extracted. They are removing him from his host, and killing him!
I feel sorry for the host!
~Samantha, thank you for not asking to have me removed, after taking you as host without permission.~
~Seems like that wouldn't be in my interest, would it? Not after blending fully. Or didn't I understand that correctly.~
~You did, but I am still amazed you did not ask for some punishment - like that I would not be allowed to take control for ten years, or something. I would have understood that.~
~Honestly, I would feel like I was a Goa'uld if I asked for something like that. Jolinar, let's stop talking about that. I would like to start thinking of how we contact my people, and how we get some sort of agreement working between Earth and the Tok'ra.~
~Yes, I have not forgotten. We should talk with Anise, or some other of the scientists, and see if they can make a radio we can use to talk to them through the chaapa'ai. Since they have the iris we cannot go there directly.~
~That is a good first start. We should also talk to the Council about it.~
~I suggest we start with Saroosh and Selmak. They will be the most likely to agree.~
~All right.~
~I suggest we find Martouf and Lantash, and then go together and get something to eat. Then I would like to rest. I am still not completely rested after this ordeal.~
~I understand - and agree.~
We go to find Martouf and Lantash. My life has really changed a lot in a short time, but I think I might come to like this. I am very sure I will come to like Martouf and Lantash!
If we can get an alliance or something between Earth and the Tok'ra, then maybe I can work part-time there, and part-time here. That would be ideal.
I have hopes it will be possible, but for now I will spend some time with Jolinar's mates, and get to know them better. I very much look forward to it!
(This is a beginning, not an end - and I will try to get a sequel written)
"First, yes, it is Jolinar. I have compared a tissue sample of her code of life to what we have on file..." He is scanning them, and when he has finished, he looks to me again, a serious expression on his face. "Their wounds are very bad, and I cannot say their survival is assured. The most resent wound is from a staff weapon, so they have crossed paths with Jaffa. Jolinar is not healing her host as quickly as normally, and she is very weak. It looks as if she has changed host more than once during the last half year."
"My poor Jolinar!" I gently stroke her hand, doing my best to keep my composure.
Rinok takes another scanner and examines Jolinar more with it. "The transference to this host happened very recently. I believe it was no more than a day or so ago. I also believe she has not made all the connections yet - in fact, her tendrils had only barely regrown enough to connect fully."
"Is that why they are not healing correctly?" I ask.
"Most likely, because without the connections fully in place, a complete blending will probably not have been possible."
~That - or this host... Captain Samantha Carter, has not agreed to remain a permanent host.~ Lantash suddenly observes, sounding worried.
"Could...could it be that they are not blended because the host...because she hasn't agreed to be Jolinar's host, permanently? Could this have been a joining out of necessity, for them both?" I wonder.
"Possibly, but if they do not blend fully, Jolinar will not be able to save herself or her host - even with our assistance. I will repair her tendrils with a healing device, and then initiate the blending."
Lantash wants control, and I bow my head. "Perhaps...you should wait until we have talked to the host. Forcing her to remain Jolinar's host is...distasteful."
"It is the only way either of them will live! Do you not think this host will prefer life with Jolinar, instead of dying? What about your mate? Do you not want her to live?"
"Yes! Of course we want her to live! More than anything! However, we do not want to do something that is against everything she believes in!" Lantash exclaims, furious and heartbroken at the same time. ~Martouf?~
~I...love Jolinar. I cannot see her die when there is a way for her to live. I cannot.~
~Neither can I.~ He takes a deep breath and makes a decision. "Heal the tendrils - and initiate the full blending."
Rinok nods, and grabs a healing device. "Please give me some space to work."
Lantash takes a few steps back, and with baited breath we wait as Rinok works.
First Rinok uses a healing device on Jolinar. Then he picks up an injector, and presses it against her neck, then takes a small device that I have no idea what is used for. He runs it over her neck for a few moments, then gives her another injection, then take the healing device again. After a few moments he starts running the healing device over her and her host's entire body, focusing on critical points here and there.
"Well?" Lantash asks, anxiously, when Rinok steps aside.
"I have healed the tendrils, and initiated the blending. From what I can tell, it is continuing as it should, and they will soon be fully blended. By then Jolinar will have better control of her host's body, and will be able to heal her - at least when she has regained some of her strength. I have given her a strengthening potion, and healed some of the worst damage to her host. Now their bodies must rest and heal on their own for a little while before I can use the healing device again. It is my hope that Jolinar's natural abilities will be strong enough that they will need little help after the blending is complete."
"Thank you. May we remain here?"
"Of course, but please do not disturb them in any way."
"I will not." Lantash sits down on a chair a short distance from the platform where our Jolinar is lying. Now all there is to do is wait and hope.
~I wish I knew what had happened to Rosha.~
~Jolinar knows. We will learn of it when she awakens.~ Lantash hugs me. ~I miss her so much! Our sweet Rosha!~
~Yes. I...cannot fathom that she is dead, but there can be no other explanation. Jolinar would never leave her, as you say.~
~She is beautiful. Jolinar's new host, I mean.~
~Yes, she is. I hope she will come to love us.~
~You know she will, now when they are fully blended.~
~She is not Rosha...is it betrayal if we take...Captain Samantha Carter as our mate?~
~No...it would be betrayal of Rosha's legacy, and of Jolinar, if we did not.~
~Is she truly of the Tau'ri, you think?~
~That is what she said.~ Lantash looks up as someone enters. It is Saroosh/Selmak. "Greetings."
"Hello, Lantash, Martouf." Saroosh looks at Jolinar on the platform. "How is she?"
"According to the healer, they are not quite out of danger yet, but we have hope they will pull through."
"That is good." Saroosh smiles a little sadly at us. "I am sorry about Rosha. We will all miss her."
Lantash nods. "We will. Very much."
"What is the name of Jolinar's new host?"
"She said...Captain Samantha Carter, but the first is almost certainly her rank. From her clothing, I believe she is a warrior on her world."
Saroosh nods. "That is quite possible. They are fully blended?"
"The healer initiated the full blending in order to allow Jolinar to heal her host better. He believes...they had not had time to do so, as it is probably not much more than a day since Jolinar entered this woman."
"I see. They seem to have been through much together already." She gives us a cunning look. "But you suspect there is another explanation?"
"I believe Jolinar would have found time to at least start the full blending, when their condition is as dire as this, and they need it to live! The only other explanation I can see is that her host... had not agreed to remain a host. Perhaps...she just agreed temporary, in order for both to live."
"If that is the case, there may be some problems when they wake up and are fully blended. Separating then will not be easy on the host. But then she may no longer want it."
"I do not like that thought! She would not have truly consented then!"
"Lantash, you are young and idealistic. Life has grey zones, and things are not always so black and white. As long as Jolinar did not take this host without getting her consent, then I am sure they will learn to get along."
"Yes. You are probably correct, Saroosh." Lantash smiles a little at her.
"What about you and Martouf? How do you feel about this new host of Jolinar's? She is taking the place of Rosha."
"We miss Rosha very badly, but we are grateful for...Samantha Carter, that she has brought our Jolinar home to us."
"She will be your mate - unless you decides not to continue the relationship. Can you be there for both of them? If this blending is something Samantha Carter will take time to accept, then both she and Jolinar will need your support and love. You must be certain you can give it."
"Of course we want the relationship to continue!" Lantash exclaims, harsher than he wanted to. "We both love Jolinar so very deeply. We could never give her up."
"And her new host? She should not just be accepted due to Jolinar, but loved for herself."
"I know, and while we do not yet know her, I do not believe that will be a problem. She is certainly attractive to us, and we know she is strong and brave. She brought our Jolinar back here, despite clearly having been attacked and injured by Jaffa."
"Good." Saroosh dips her head.
"You have my condolences for Rosha as well. I am relieved Jolinar has returned, at least, and I very much hope she will live. I look forward to thanking her new host for bringing Jolinar back here to us."
"As do we." Lantash sighs. "Thank you, Selmak and Saroosh. Right the pain from hearing of Rosha's death is very raw, but with Jolinar here with us, we will be all right, I believe. We do look forward to getting to know Samantha Carter."
"They are healing well now." Rinok says when he has finished scanning Jolinar and Samantha Carter. "The blending is complete. I believe they will regain consciousness tomorrow morning, at least."
"That sounds very good." I say, feeling very relieved.
"You should get something to eat, and sleep a little while. They will not be awake until tomorrow, and you are no help to them if you are exhausted."
"I am fine." I insist, Lantash agreeing with me.
"You are not 'fine', Martouf. You look exhausted! I am the healer, remember? I can order you to your rooms if I want to, and not allow you back after they have woken up!"
"Please, do not do that!" I say, terrified.
"I will not... if you do as I say. Go eat. Sleep some hours, then you will be allowed back here. Understood?"
"Yes." I sigh, and do as I am told. Lantash is making defiant comments in my head, but neither of us want to risk not being allowed to be there when Jolinar and Samantha Carter wakes up.
Sam POV
I slowly wake up. I try to remember what has happened, and where I am. Bits and pieces of what happened the last days are floating back to me. I was taken as a host - by a Tok'ra. The mere thought doesn't scare me any longer. So much has happened since then, and I have talked so much to Jolinar, that having her there feels...almost normal. Almost.
Right now I only feel her as a presence in the back of my mind, but it is strangely...comforting. I know that no matter where I am or what happens, I will not have to face it alone.
It doesn't feel like the intrusion I would have thought, to have her in my head. I mean, yes, she can read my thoughts if she want to, but I trust her - and somehow I don't mind.
Even less today than yesterday. Weird.
We were almost blown up, we were captured by Jaffa, we were shot by Jaffa... my body hurt everywhere, I could barely move, and Jolinar lost consciousness, I think. I must have done the same.
I have a vague memory of arriving home, that is, in Jolinar's home. I remember seeing people in beige outfits... one of which was... Martouf. I felt safe. I wonder how Jolinar's relationship with this Martouf is?
I realize I feel tingling from all around me, so I must be in a place where there are naquadah everywhere, and symbiotes everywhere. It feels...right.
Do I even dare move? I am afraid of how much my body will hurt! Eventually, I open my eyes and stretch - except for a mild soreness, nothing hurts!
~Wow, Jolinar! Well done!~ I tell her, even though I suspect she is sleeping. No doubt tired from healing me.
"Samantha Carter?" a familiar voice says, and I turn my head to see Martouf.
He was sitting on a chair nearby, and now got up and stepped up to my bed. "Yes." I look at him. "Martouf."
He nods. "Yes, I am Martouf." He stroke my hand.
I smile at him, feeling happiness when I see him. Love. I turn my hand over and take hold of his, then I frown. Love? He is very attractive, but I don't know this man! Why am I holding his hand? Why did he stroke my hand?
"I...am confused." I admit.
He smiles. "That is understandable. You are Captain Samantha Carter?"
"Yes. Captain is my rank. I guess... you could call me Samantha. I think that works better." Is he Jolinar's mate, I think? Part of me very much hopes so!
"Samantha. It is a beautiful name... for a beautiful woman."
I feel myself blush a little. "Thanks." I shake my head. "I feel...um, my feelings for you seems...weirdly stronger than they should have." I admit, feeling stupid. "Is it because of Jolinar?"
"Yes, it is. She is my mate. The healer was forced to initiate the full blending between you and Jolinar, in order for her to be able to save you. The blending causes your stronger emotions to merge - meaning you will feel what Jolinar feels." He looks at me with concern. "I am sorry if that is not what you wanted, but there was no other way, of you were to survive. Either of you."
I nod slowly. "It was not, but strangely enough...I am not angry. Worried about my future, yes, but not angry." I frown.
Martouf sighs. "That too is probably due to the blending."
"Wait, Jolinar is your mate?"
"She is, yes." He smiles at me, then looks searchingly at me. "I assume Jolinar is still asleep or unconscious?"
"Yes, I think so. She didn't react when I spoke to her at least."
"She is sleeping deeply, then, in order to regain her strength after the ordeal. I...will call for the healer. Just to confirm that all is well."
"Of course."
Martouf POV
The healer came quickly. Today another healer is on duty, her name is Silja. She scans Samantha and Jolinar, and confirms that Jolinar is merely in a deep resting sleep to regain her energy.
Samantha is healed, but will be somewhat sore for a day or so. She does not have to remain in the healers rooms, though.
"Would you like something to eat? Or would you perhaps prefer a bath first?" I ask.
Samantha is sitting up on the platform now, and she smiles - she look stunningly beautiful when she smiles! "Both sounds wonderful!" She grimaces as she touches her clothes. "But I think I'd like a bath first - do you know if there is some clothes I can borrow?"
"As Jolinar's new host, you have inherited all Rosha's clothes. However, Rosha was almost a full head smaller than you, and of a more slight build as well, so I do not believe you will be able to fit most of it." I consider it, and discuss it with Lantash. "There are clothes in the commissary, if nothing of Jolinar's will fit."
"Okay, let's take a look at it." Samantha says.
Sam POV
Martouf takes me through the corridors to the Jolinar's quarters, I assume. Or maybe he shares quarters with her? Since they are mates?
Martouf is Jolinar's mate! I am fully blended with Jolinar, and that probably explains why I feel her emotions for him. Not that Martouf isn't gorgeous enough that I might very well fall for him on my own, but I am not the type for love at first sight, so I think it would take longer.
We meet several Tok'ra on the way, all of which seem somehow familiar to me. Their names come to me, as I pass them. It is really weird. They have clearly heard about me, because they nod at me or greet me.
We reach some quarters, and enters. Are these Jolinar's? Or does she share them with Martouf? What about me, then? Where will I sleep? Jolinar said that a full blending means it is very difficult to separate, so will I remain her host permanently? And if I do, what about Martouf?
"I apologize, but the place is somewhat messy." Martouf says, picking up a shirt from the floor.
I notice more of what is obviously his clothes, and gets my answer, these quarters are his and Jolinar's.
"Wait, you said Jolinar is your mate - what does that mean? I mean, for me?"
"You are also my mate, of course." Martouf says, smiling a little shyly. "I hope you do not mind?" He adds, anxiously. "We understand if you want time to get to know us, of course. We will get some free time in which to learn more of each other."
"Um...I... I don't know what to say! I mean, I don't know you at all, but I have very strong feelings for you. Which is very weird. But you.. I mean, I'm just someone who accidentally became Jolinar's host... I can totally understand if you don't want me!"
"Samantha." Martouf takes my hand. "It is true that I do not know you, but I already like you. Lantash and I are very sure that we will come to love you very much." He entwines his fingers with mine. "Please tell me that you will at least give us a chance?"
"I...of course." I smile at him. "Everything is just so confusing - and I really wanted to go back to my life on Earth, but I realize that would be difficult, as host to Jolinar."
"Do you have a mate back on your world? The world of the Tau'ri?"
"No." I shake my head. "I do not. Yes, I am from the Tau'ri. I work for something called Stargate Command, and I consider my work important."
"What do you do?" Martouf asks, interested.
"I am a scientist, but also a...warrior, I guess is your word. We go through the Stargate...the chaapa'ai, as you call it, to look for technology to fight the Goa'uld and protect our world."
"That is very very dangerous, Samantha!"
"We don't have a choice! After we opened the Stargate a few years ago, we were attacked, and we need to defend ourselves. Anyway, don't you do the same, in a way?"
"Yes...we do. But the people of your world is...very new to the dangers of the Galaxy. You do not know what it is your are getting yourself into."
"Yeah, yeah...you're not the first to tell us." I sigh. "Anyway, I wanted to go back in order to continue doing this work, which is important to me."
"Can't you do the same here? We fight the Goa'uld as well."
"Yes...I suppose I can, but it is still difficult to just leave all you know behind, all your friends..."
Martouf nods. "I understand, and I realize it is hard for you to make a decision so quickly. Will you at least see if you can come to accept living among the Tok'ra? I am sure Anise or Malek would let you join one of the science groups."
He looks so very hopeful, and I can't make myself tell him no. Besides, I can't go home right now, if ever. Not as a host.
I nod slowly. "Yes, I will. I can't go home right now in any case. Who knows, maybe our people can become friends? In fact, I thought I'd suggest it?"
"You can talk to the Council about it. I am afraid they may not be very open to the idea, but it is worth trying."
"Jolinar said the same." I give him a wry grin. "We'll, let's look at those clothes, shall we?"
It turned out that there were a small number of dresses that were of the one-size-fits all type, that I could fit into, and I picked one of those, then took a wonderful bath. Fortunately, Martouf and Jolinar have a private bathroom, with their own bath, as many couples apparently do, because otherwise there are public pools, and I was not up for nude public bathing right now.
"Can we go to the commissary when we have eaten, and see what other clothes they have?" I ask, when I have bathed and dressed, and joined Martouf in the large room. "I'm not used to wearing dresses."
The quarters are made up of one large room with a large desk, several chairs, a table, and a couch. There is also a bathroom, and a bedroom, which is where the closets and drawers with clothes are.
"Of course." He smiles at me. "You look very good in that dress, though, Samantha."
"Um, thanks."
Why do I blush when he compliments me? I know why - he is gorgeous. Also, whether it's due to Jolinar's emotions affecting me, or because I am falling for him on my own, I know that I am feeling a very strong love for him. I want to hug him and kiss him - and remove that sadness from his face which appears frequently. When he is thinking of Rosha, I have no doubt.
We have just finished eating, and are on the way to the commissary, when Jolinar awakens. I stop for a moment, and hold up my hand. Martouf realizes, and stops beside me.
~Jolinar? Are you okay?~
~Yes, I am fine. I am no longer so completely exhausted as I was earlier. We are in the tunnels? With Martouf?~
~Yes. Healed up and safe.~
~And fully blended. I know, the healer caused it to happen.~
~From what I understand, there was no other choice.~
~True. You are not angry?~
~Not really. I do want to work towards finding a way to meet with my people, and ally with them. Then maybe we can do some sort of exchange program. Another thing...I am...ridiculous in love with Martouf. I take it that is your fault?~
~We share strong feelings like love when fully blended, yes, but my feelings should not have affected you so much so quickly - particularly since I was not conscious.~
~How, then?~
~It is no doubt partly from me, but I would guess it is also because you are genuinely attracted to Martouf.~
~I've never believed in love at first sight!~
~One time should be the first!~ Jolinar grins. ~May I have control?~
~Of course.~ I bow my head.
Jolinar takes control and immediately smiles at Martouf. "Beloved, I have missed you so much!"
"We have missed you terribly also, Jolinar."
They embrace each other tightly, and for several moments they just cling to each other. Then they kiss. The love, feelings of comfort, safety, happiness that is coursing through me from her is fantastic. I have never experienced anything so wonderful.
"I am sorry, I could not save Rosha." Jolinar says, and I suddenly feel terribly sad.
Martouf holds her close. "We know, please do not blame yourself. We mourn her deeply, but we are grateful to have you back."
Woops, not Martouf. Instead, his symbiote. Lantash. They must have switched control while they were embracing.
It is strange to hear the Tok'ra symbiotes talk. Before...I only thought of Goa'uld when I heard that voice, but I am already getting used to it coming from 'good guys'. Well, starting to get used to.
A flood of memories of Lantash and Martouf flows through my mind - many of them erotic. ~Whoa! Oversharing a bit, aren't we? I feel like I am intruding on your personal life!~
~If you intend to remain my host, you will also be Martouf and Lantash's mate. Do you object to that?~
~Well, um. That depends on...well, no, I suppose I don't.~
~Then you are part of this 'personal life'.~ She kisses Lantash again. "Shall we go to the commissary and see if there are some clothing Samantha might like?"
"Of course."
We ended up finding quite a lot of suitable clothes - and some very...a sexy ones as well, which Jolinar insisted on getting. I also managed to get several Tok'ra uniforms, because while I like dresses now and then, I am not used to wearing them as often as Jolinar likes.
So we will compromise.
After getting the clothes, we went to the Council, so Jolinar - and I - could be debriefed. That took a very long time, and when I thought all was over and we could leave, Jolinar pulled out a whammy of an information.
One of the Tok'ra was not who he said he was! Cordesh was an impostor, and sent by Cronus! It was he who caused Rosha and Jolinar to be discovered.
Cordesh was furious, but Jolinar insisted they search his quarters, which they did. They found a long range communicator, and Cordesh admitted his guilt - or rather started spewing angry stuff about how the Goa'uld would kill all the Tok'ra.
Suffice to say, Cordesh was removed from the Council, and he was actually taken to be extracted. They are removing him from his host, and killing him!
I feel sorry for the host!
~Samantha, thank you for not asking to have me removed, after taking you as host without permission.~
~Seems like that wouldn't be in my interest, would it? Not after blending fully. Or didn't I understand that correctly.~
~You did, but I am still amazed you did not ask for some punishment - like that I would not be allowed to take control for ten years, or something. I would have understood that.~
~Honestly, I would feel like I was a Goa'uld if I asked for something like that. Jolinar, let's stop talking about that. I would like to start thinking of how we contact my people, and how we get some sort of agreement working between Earth and the Tok'ra.~
~Yes, I have not forgotten. We should talk with Anise, or some other of the scientists, and see if they can make a radio we can use to talk to them through the chaapa'ai. Since they have the iris we cannot go there directly.~
~That is a good first start. We should also talk to the Council about it.~
~I suggest we start with Saroosh and Selmak. They will be the most likely to agree.~
~All right.~
~I suggest we find Martouf and Lantash, and then go together and get something to eat. Then I would like to rest. I am still not completely rested after this ordeal.~
~I understand - and agree.~
We go to find Martouf and Lantash. My life has really changed a lot in a short time, but I think I might come to like this. I am very sure I will come to like Martouf and Lantash!
If we can get an alliance or something between Earth and the Tok'ra, then maybe I can work part-time there, and part-time here. That would be ideal.
I have hopes it will be possible, but for now I will spend some time with Jolinar's mates, and get to know them better. I very much look forward to it!
(This is a beginning, not an end - and I will try to get a sequel written)