You Know You’re From Miami When…
- You don't have a steady income but you yet find enough money to pay for drugs, club cover charges, drinks and keeping you gas tank full
- You've never used public transportation
- You can name 5 Cuban diners that serve the best arroz con pollo off the top of your head
- You can name at least 5 Cuban restaurants within a 5 mile radius of you
- You're saving up money for either a boob job, liposuction or laser eye surgery
- You can name 5 places to get waxed and tanned and you're a guy
- You think that people that don't go clubbing/party at least 3 times a week are geeks
- You have no idea who the governor is or what is the state capital
- You've mastered the art of negotiating with club doormen/bouncers/maitre'd at China
- Grill
- You've cruised down Washington Ave/Ocean Drive blasting trance/techno/house/hip-hop so that everybody in a 5 block radius knows exactly what you're listening to
- You've almost spent as much money on your car stereo and rims as the car itself
- Special K is not only a breakfast cereal for you
- You know at least 1 stripper, porn star, or hooker.
- Someone says, “She looks like she came straight from Calle Ocho” and you know exactly what it means
- You can’t stand Key Rats because they’re like fucking Madagascar… their own island that no one but them cares about
- Ft. Lauderdale is in “casa pinga”… the general Broward area is just way too far and you can’t afford wasting that much gas
- While driving, at least 5 cars pass you throughout your car ride with the bass loud enough to give your car hydraulics and when you look over to see what’s making that noise, it’s an antique Cadillac or a beat up Mitsubishi with Cuban or Puerto Rican flags decorating the inside or outside
- You can never find the time to go to the beach, and when you do, once you find parking in god-forsaken So Beach, it pours or you get towed
- You know at least one person who at least does one the following: makes IDs, works at a club that can “hook you up,” sells any kind of drug, does any kind of drug, DJs, and/or has a nice ass car that everyone rides in to go to a party
- Mi Tio Driving School taught you how to drive or you know someone that learned there
- Being underage means nothing to you when Tio’s exists
yea bitches, i wrote that (except for a few i found online)