Skip this, I'm ranting
So I havn't updated in about a year and a half. But now I need someware to vent, and lj seems just the place.
I hate it here. Seriously. School is the worst thing i've ever experienced. Most people who knew me know I was always the loud funny kid in a class. People knew me. Not here. I sit inthe back, i'm miserable, I eat lunch alone. I just completly hate it. so damn much. I wake up everyday thinking that this is all a really bad dream that hasn't ended yet. I just wanna be back with my friends. People I care about, and care about me in return. I hate my dad for doing this to me.
Luckily there might be a shimmer of hope for me. Before I left Phil (Mikes dad) was telling me that if I wanted to come back next year and live there for collage that I could do so. So I got to thinking that maybe he'd let me come back a year earlier. So I asked mom, and she's thinking about it, and when I was teliing Mike about my plan he already asked Carol, and she said yes so long as I get a job. Mom said she wants the best for me and thats what this is. My new school s just so horrible. Yesterday was the 2nd day and already two fghts broke out. During summer school a gun was passed around the class room. I see drug deals all the time. I can't learn in a building I don't feel safe in.
My emotions are all over the place. I feel like two Alex's most of the time. One that wants to just get over recent event's, and the other that won't let me forget. I feel like I hate everything sometimes. I mean I'm ALEX I'm not supposed to feel like i'm gonna cry everyday, but with all this shit happening Sometimes I do. I've cried so much down here.
I just wanna go home...
I hate it here. Seriously. School is the worst thing i've ever experienced. Most people who knew me know I was always the loud funny kid in a class. People knew me. Not here. I sit inthe back, i'm miserable, I eat lunch alone. I just completly hate it. so damn much. I wake up everyday thinking that this is all a really bad dream that hasn't ended yet. I just wanna be back with my friends. People I care about, and care about me in return. I hate my dad for doing this to me.
Luckily there might be a shimmer of hope for me. Before I left Phil (Mikes dad) was telling me that if I wanted to come back next year and live there for collage that I could do so. So I got to thinking that maybe he'd let me come back a year earlier. So I asked mom, and she's thinking about it, and when I was teliing Mike about my plan he already asked Carol, and she said yes so long as I get a job. Mom said she wants the best for me and thats what this is. My new school s just so horrible. Yesterday was the 2nd day and already two fghts broke out. During summer school a gun was passed around the class room. I see drug deals all the time. I can't learn in a building I don't feel safe in.
My emotions are all over the place. I feel like two Alex's most of the time. One that wants to just get over recent event's, and the other that won't let me forget. I feel like I hate everything sometimes. I mean I'm ALEX I'm not supposed to feel like i'm gonna cry everyday, but with all this shit happening Sometimes I do. I've cried so much down here.
I just wanna go home...