(no subject)
I found this on a website and did not realize till the end of it that is was telling my story and I was just a fucking raped by the power of it.
"Shattered Reflections"
The desperate mind of shattered child
Knows all the emotions spawned from denial
But are only seen by eyes who have been inside
And listened through deaf ears to their suicidal cries
Hearing them echo without knowing where they are
Just pathetically existing with a dead heart
Adapting to the indispensable state of insecurity
I’m destined to be alone, incapable of serenity
So nothing matters since no one cares
How can they when no one is there?
Gazing at a reflection that I do not claim
Nothing I can manifest resembles this face
This flesh is stolen, borrowed by lies
Cloaked by the ignorance of a naive design
Do I choose to live or do I choose to die?
Is the question I seek the answer to every night
But never maintain control over that aspect
The only fate that is certain is death
And that will come to me in time
So there is no need to rush my demise
I’ve wasted enough energy contemplating success
So I spend my time surrendering to death
Abiding to its guidelines of decay
Shrouded by its shadow, withering away
Collecting the pieces and storing them in jars
Entranced by the fragments as I watch from afar
Distant it seems when your life turns to ash
Deconstructed internally by nuclear blast
Until I'm blank faced, unable to speak
Shame takes no mercy on those who are weak
It just relentlessly deteriorates the mind
Leaving me to question why I'm alive?
Then I look around and see why I was sent
My purpose in this life is punishment
Sentenced to an alternate perception
Where everyone I know controls me with deception
Humoring me with falsified information
Deceiving me in every possible situation
Or maybe it’s just my paranoia blinding me
Intoxicating my level of trust until I refuse to see
Confusing the emotions governed by hate
I am unable to logically differentiate
My mind is an unstable catastrophe
I desperately need to devise stability
To overcome my fear of change
To slowly subjugate my brain
Into the mentality that life is unfair
And nothing I can do will ever compare
To what will happen if I give in to defeat
My failure prevents me from ever feeling complete
Shards are all my life has become
Sections of a life that has never begun
This image I possess is not what I desire
I'd rather watch it burn in a pit of fire
But dreams don’t come true, so why dream at all?
Just have nightmares about trying to evolve
Through an age where nothing is sacred
In a world totally consumed by hatred
I stare at myself reverberating through broken glass
And I've accepted that nothing in my life will ever last.
"Shattered Reflections"
The desperate mind of shattered child
Knows all the emotions spawned from denial
But are only seen by eyes who have been inside
And listened through deaf ears to their suicidal cries
Hearing them echo without knowing where they are
Just pathetically existing with a dead heart
Adapting to the indispensable state of insecurity
I’m destined to be alone, incapable of serenity
So nothing matters since no one cares
How can they when no one is there?
Gazing at a reflection that I do not claim
Nothing I can manifest resembles this face
This flesh is stolen, borrowed by lies
Cloaked by the ignorance of a naive design
Do I choose to live or do I choose to die?
Is the question I seek the answer to every night
But never maintain control over that aspect
The only fate that is certain is death
And that will come to me in time
So there is no need to rush my demise
I’ve wasted enough energy contemplating success
So I spend my time surrendering to death
Abiding to its guidelines of decay
Shrouded by its shadow, withering away
Collecting the pieces and storing them in jars
Entranced by the fragments as I watch from afar
Distant it seems when your life turns to ash
Deconstructed internally by nuclear blast
Until I'm blank faced, unable to speak
Shame takes no mercy on those who are weak
It just relentlessly deteriorates the mind
Leaving me to question why I'm alive?
Then I look around and see why I was sent
My purpose in this life is punishment
Sentenced to an alternate perception
Where everyone I know controls me with deception
Humoring me with falsified information
Deceiving me in every possible situation
Or maybe it’s just my paranoia blinding me
Intoxicating my level of trust until I refuse to see
Confusing the emotions governed by hate
I am unable to logically differentiate
My mind is an unstable catastrophe
I desperately need to devise stability
To overcome my fear of change
To slowly subjugate my brain
Into the mentality that life is unfair
And nothing I can do will ever compare
To what will happen if I give in to defeat
My failure prevents me from ever feeling complete
Shards are all my life has become
Sections of a life that has never begun
This image I possess is not what I desire
I'd rather watch it burn in a pit of fire
But dreams don’t come true, so why dream at all?
Just have nightmares about trying to evolve
Through an age where nothing is sacred
In a world totally consumed by hatred
I stare at myself reverberating through broken glass
And I've accepted that nothing in my life will ever last.