after.
well i close my eyes. only for a moment and the moments gone. all my dreams. blast before my eyes in curiosity.
I did find an apartment in atlanta. I moved in last year in october. the weather was better last year. it's significantly cold here now. I have a job finally. but somethings will never be the same. in a year, I feel i let my soul free only to have it returned damaged, wounded, bruised, beaten, and spit back out. i wonder how many times in my life i will realize how stupid i am to trust, to befriend, to support, to care, about people who will never understand the meaning of friendship. am I not worthy of their friendship? no, my committment and level of loyalty is far greater than what they have to offer. I'm officially done trusting, letting people in. It's really sad. I feel like a prisoner inside myself because i love to love. but i found my heart has been broken countless times. and I just can't do it anymore. I feel like I need to look forward to my future. you're never certain how a group. or a couples future will turn out. my plans for 2009, save up my money. move to amsterdam. make new plans. succeed. and enjoy life. very obsecure. but i can't go into detail. I miss home. i would like to see it one more time before i leave. i hate to stay in a place that has been tarnished by people's actions. the only thing i like about here is my job. men suck. car sucks (sometimes). girls suck. apartment has been sucking me dry.
i must be a gypsy at heart.
I did find an apartment in atlanta. I moved in last year in october. the weather was better last year. it's significantly cold here now. I have a job finally. but somethings will never be the same. in a year, I feel i let my soul free only to have it returned damaged, wounded, bruised, beaten, and spit back out. i wonder how many times in my life i will realize how stupid i am to trust, to befriend, to support, to care, about people who will never understand the meaning of friendship. am I not worthy of their friendship? no, my committment and level of loyalty is far greater than what they have to offer. I'm officially done trusting, letting people in. It's really sad. I feel like a prisoner inside myself because i love to love. but i found my heart has been broken countless times. and I just can't do it anymore. I feel like I need to look forward to my future. you're never certain how a group. or a couples future will turn out. my plans for 2009, save up my money. move to amsterdam. make new plans. succeed. and enjoy life. very obsecure. but i can't go into detail. I miss home. i would like to see it one more time before i leave. i hate to stay in a place that has been tarnished by people's actions. the only thing i like about here is my job. men suck. car sucks (sometimes). girls suck. apartment has been sucking me dry.
i must be a gypsy at heart.