(no subject)
So I tried to write last night but my livejournal wasn't working right or it was my connection. I literally fell asleep being soothed by the strong gusts of wind . A strong storm soothes stressful mind.
So today I gave my son his first dose of Ritalin. I have absolutely dreaded this for years. I Remember having so much backbone with Andrew. I believe with the right conditioning getting past your hurdles makes you stronger. But I am tired. I am not strong enough to show him the way. Me with ADD i've not done the nessisary steps to conditioning myself to manage ordinary tasks. And now I have to show him. This is so sad but I am literally going to be sitting behind my son's shoulder watching what these women(that I loath entirely) teach my son as I take notes. I am a child again. But i still have to be the grown up.
I dyed my hair red again. I thought I would love it like I used to but I really don't. It's sexy but it draws attention to me and I don't want that. I've grown pretty content hiding from the world. The world is literally bleeding with pain and everybody's watching and debating about it. And I'm over here like hey guys your kittens you see this the world's good now you have kittens.