Inspired by evillottie's Sakura rant
Heroes and Heroines simply cannot win. (Be they male or female)
If a hero doesn't like fighting, they're a pansywuss. If they do enjoy battle or don't mind fighting, though, it's Moral Dissonance and that makes them a Bad Person.
If the hero is attentive and spends a lot of time with the love interest, they're a selfish clingy stalker. If they have other things on their mind and give the love interest space, though, they're still selfish but this time it's because they're frigid and don't really love that person.
If the hero is attractive, they're shallow fanservice. If they're not conventionally attractive, they're ugly.
If the hero is kind and gentle, they're a naive idiot who doesn't know how the world works. If they show anger or negativity, they're an asshole.
If the hero is always happy, they're unrealistic and annoying and need a punch in the mouth. If they cry, though, they're a pansywuss who needs to STFU.
If the hero buckles under the pressure, they're a wuss who needs to buck up and grow a pair. If they can handle adversity fairly well, they're a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.
If the hero needs help making a choice, they're wishy-washy and need to grow a pair. If they make their own choice that isn't what people expected, they're cocky and arrogant for thinking they know better than everyone else.
If the hero can't defeat a rival, they're weak and useless. If they DO beat the rival, they're either an overpowered Sue/Stu, cheated somehow or only won because of dumb luck. Also their winning is bad because it's a personal slight against the rival who is much cooler than them.
If the hero refuses to kill the villain they're a monster who just put the world in even more danger. If they do kill the villain, they're a sadistic hypocrite.
If the hero gets too much screentime, they're a spotlight hog taking it away from the more deserving characters. If the other characters get as much face time as they do, someone else is invariably the Real Hero. (Usually the best-looking male character regardless of whether or not they actually ARE heroic)
If the hero needs rescuing, they're useless and weak and whiny and can't do anything (especially if they're female in which case they're also a Faux Action Girl, "liek ewww!"). If they save the day and are capable, though, they're overpowered and boring.
If the hero isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, they're a moron who doesn't know their ass from a hole in the ground and has all the sense of a four year old. If they're intelligent and wise, the writers are clearly trying to make their darling look perfect and pure.
The only way a hero can redeem themselves is by dying a proper death or ending up all alone after sacrificing a part of their soul for the greater good.
If a hero doesn't like fighting, they're a pansywuss. If they do enjoy battle or don't mind fighting, though, it's Moral Dissonance and that makes them a Bad Person.
If the hero is attentive and spends a lot of time with the love interest, they're a selfish clingy stalker. If they have other things on their mind and give the love interest space, though, they're still selfish but this time it's because they're frigid and don't really love that person.
If the hero is attractive, they're shallow fanservice. If they're not conventionally attractive, they're ugly.
If the hero is kind and gentle, they're a naive idiot who doesn't know how the world works. If they show anger or negativity, they're an asshole.
If the hero is always happy, they're unrealistic and annoying and need a punch in the mouth. If they cry, though, they're a pansywuss who needs to STFU.
If the hero buckles under the pressure, they're a wuss who needs to buck up and grow a pair. If they can handle adversity fairly well, they're a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.
If the hero needs help making a choice, they're wishy-washy and need to grow a pair. If they make their own choice that isn't what people expected, they're cocky and arrogant for thinking they know better than everyone else.
If the hero can't defeat a rival, they're weak and useless. If they DO beat the rival, they're either an overpowered Sue/Stu, cheated somehow or only won because of dumb luck. Also their winning is bad because it's a personal slight against the rival who is much cooler than them.
If the hero refuses to kill the villain they're a monster who just put the world in even more danger. If they do kill the villain, they're a sadistic hypocrite.
If the hero gets too much screentime, they're a spotlight hog taking it away from the more deserving characters. If the other characters get as much face time as they do, someone else is invariably the Real Hero. (Usually the best-looking male character regardless of whether or not they actually ARE heroic)
If the hero needs rescuing, they're useless and weak and whiny and can't do anything (especially if they're female in which case they're also a Faux Action Girl, "liek ewww!"). If they save the day and are capable, though, they're overpowered and boring.
If the hero isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, they're a moron who doesn't know their ass from a hole in the ground and has all the sense of a four year old. If they're intelligent and wise, the writers are clearly trying to make their darling look perfect and pure.
The only way a hero can redeem themselves is by dying a proper death or ending up all alone after sacrificing a part of their soul for the greater good.