(no subject)
i hate this.. i hate everything.. i hate HIM.. i hate ME.. everything is going so wrong lately... i guess u wanna kno y so here we go...
my brother brian is tearing my family apart.. last night mark TRIED 2 talk 2 him to help him out like brothers do n brian yelled @ him n treated him a piece of trash.. it wasnt right..so mark called him yelled *fuck you asshole*. n then came into the house n sat on the stairs n cried.. MARK CRIED.. b/c he was trying 2 help some1 n he spat in his face.. i sat there on the stairs n comforted him.. me n him were sitting there hugging 4 @ least a 1/2 hour.. we acted like a brother n sister n it made me sooo happi... yea n then the arguing began again n mark cried alot.. brian is tearing this family apart n is failing 2 realize it.. my mom even cried last night.. brian eventually shoved mark n wow!. my dad had 2 hold mark back.. i eventually got up in brians face n he didnt do shit cuz he knw if he touched me he would have got the shit beat outta him... yea so last night was hell....also shit happened w/ me last night...
i got an email from daryl sayin that basically, it was over.. i didnt realli care i just wanted 2 kno y... so i talked 2 him later on that night n he said his mom sent me that email.. so i was like ok.. so now we r still goin back out.. but i dunno if i should belive that his mom wrote the email.. i dunno. n he told me last ngiht that now i control his life.. that i make the decisions about what he can n cant do.. i dont wanna make those decisions b/c ive screwed up my life so many times n i dont think i can handle someone else's. yea so i dunno what 2 do.. im so lost n confused about what 2 do in life..
everything is so screwed. i feel like just giving up.. everything seems 2 b my fault lately.. if ne1 has any advice they can give me please do so.. b4 i just breakdown n do something im gonna regret...
thanx 2 all my b.f.f.l. out there who helped me through things n talked 2 me when i needed them... Shakima, Amanda, Christina, Tara, Renee, n every1 im missin'<3 <3 <3 © ©