(no subject)
i can't do this anymore. i just can't. it always happens like this. why? why do I care so much? why do I put so much effort into them? why do i care for them so much? why do they say they care for me? why do they tell me all the right things, and i tell them all the right thing, and we make plans, and we say we can "make it work"? why?
it's karma. it really is. i'm bad. i'm a bad person. i lie. i sneak around. i lie to peoples faces. i look them right in the eye, and i lie to them. why? because i think i won't get caught? because we think we won't get caught? and then when the pressure is on, what happens? you break. you break. you break. not me. you do it. why would you say those things to me? why would you assure me time and time again that we could make things work? why do i fall for it? why can't we just be honest about it? why can't we just come clean before we're covered in mud? am i the fool? are you the fool?
and then i miss it. i miss it so much. they way you looked at me, the way i looked at you. the way we touched. the way we kissed. you're always so willing, so reassuring. we can make it work, we can make it work. and i try. i try so damn hard. i lie to them. i lie to everyone for you. i lie to everyone for you. and then when i come clean, when i try to do the right thing, you can't handle it? betrayal? it was never meant to be like that. i never wanted to hurt anyone. i liked you. i wanted this to be right. i always do these things because i like them. i put them on a pedistal. i give my all, all my effort. and then i'm always left alone in the dust, with scrapes on me knees and blood on my face. and shame. and i feel like an asshole now.
and then you always cut me out. all that i did for them. it's all for nothing. you just brush it off. aren't you hurting too? all the things you said, all the times we said we'd make it threw. did you forgot that? did you ever really feel that way to begin with? is it all a lie? why does it always end like this? because we lied to everyone else? because I lied? i just want to know that you're huurting, too. but you're not. it's me.
it's always me.
2 strikes.....
it's karma. it really is. i'm bad. i'm a bad person. i lie. i sneak around. i lie to peoples faces. i look them right in the eye, and i lie to them. why? because i think i won't get caught? because we think we won't get caught? and then when the pressure is on, what happens? you break. you break. you break. not me. you do it. why would you say those things to me? why would you assure me time and time again that we could make things work? why do i fall for it? why can't we just be honest about it? why can't we just come clean before we're covered in mud? am i the fool? are you the fool?
and then i miss it. i miss it so much. they way you looked at me, the way i looked at you. the way we touched. the way we kissed. you're always so willing, so reassuring. we can make it work, we can make it work. and i try. i try so damn hard. i lie to them. i lie to everyone for you. i lie to everyone for you. and then when i come clean, when i try to do the right thing, you can't handle it? betrayal? it was never meant to be like that. i never wanted to hurt anyone. i liked you. i wanted this to be right. i always do these things because i like them. i put them on a pedistal. i give my all, all my effort. and then i'm always left alone in the dust, with scrapes on me knees and blood on my face. and shame. and i feel like an asshole now.
and then you always cut me out. all that i did for them. it's all for nothing. you just brush it off. aren't you hurting too? all the things you said, all the times we said we'd make it threw. did you forgot that? did you ever really feel that way to begin with? is it all a lie? why does it always end like this? because we lied to everyone else? because I lied? i just want to know that you're huurting, too. but you're not. it's me.
it's always me.
2 strikes.....