Don't You Dare Ruin My Delicious FISH & Chips Dinner (part 12)
TERRY TAYLOR BEING FOUND GUILTY OF TREASON BECAUSE RICK ROZZ QUIT SADUS TO OPEN A PROHIBITION THEMED BURGER JOINT AS A FRONT FOR AN ILLEGAL, UNSANCTIONED RETIREMENT HOME FOR OLD AWA INTERVIEWERS?
IRS BREAKING INTO ARBY'S AND COOKING UP A BATCH OF FRIED TAX FORMS IN ORDER TO COVER UP THE IDENTITY OF BLACK JACK CORPSEGRINDER?
ED MCMAHON BODY SLAMMING JOE BUTCHER NOVA INTO PETER STEEL'S BATHTUB BECAUSE TONY DANZA REFUSED TO BUY A BOX OF GIRLSCOUT COOKIES FROM HIEDENRIECH?
RIC FLAIR CANCELLING AN X-COPS CONCERT IN BRAZIL BECAUSE WILLIAM HENRY HARRISSON'S DEATH WAS CITED AS THE REASON FOR JOHN CENA'S ACTION FIGURE NOT BEING SOLD WITH A FREE PACKAGE OF BEEF JERKY?
SAVIO VEGA CRYING HIS EYES OUT OVER THE KODIAK BEAR SORROWFULLY BUYING EVERY BOX OF CORN FLAKES IN ATTLEBORO DUE TO GENE OKERLUND EATING A PLATE OF SPEEDING TICKETS?
SETS FIRE TO RANDOM HOUSES FULL OF NIGGERS OUT OF FRUSTRATION THAT BIG JOHN STUDD DOESN'T WRESTLE ANYMORE GOD NEEDS A SCRATCH AND SNIFF YOGA MAT?
REFUSES TO WATCH OLD WRESTLING CHALLENGE INTERVIEW SEGMENTS ON JEWISH HOLIDAYS EVERY LEAP YEAR GOD NEEDS A TUNA FISH SANDWICH AND A DAY OLD BOWL OF WONTON SOUP WITH CRUSHED UP GRANOLA BAR BITS?
MORALLY OPPOSED TO PUBLIC DEFECATION BUT FINDS IT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO SIT ON A NUN'S LAP AND FART GOD NEEDS A NUTRITIOUS SHIT SANDWICH WITH GLACIER SAUCE?
THOUGHT HE WAS FULL, GOT SICK, PUKED AND FELT A LITTLE BETTER THEN DECIDED TO GO BACK FOR ANOTHER BURGER BEFORE 5'OCLOCK GOD NEEDS A TICKET TO SEE D.R.I.?
SUPPORTS AGRICULTURE BECAUSE WHISKEY IS THE ONLY CORN PRODUCT THAT CAN BE TRANSPORTED WITHOUT SPOILING GOD NEEDS A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE BURGER?
DECIDES TO STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS CHICKS CAUSE HE'S HAPPILY MARRIED AND GROWS OUT THE HORSESHOE IN HIS MID-THIRTIES GOD NEEDS A PORK LO MEIN AND PEPPER STEAK WITH ONIONS COMBINATION PLATE?
NATHANIAL MAYWEATHER TAKING HEADBANGER MOSH TO COURT BECAUSE RICHARD MANN WASN'T PARTICULARLY IMPRESSED WHEN HIS SON PLAYED "BLACK NO.1" IN THE CAR RIDE TO THE CONVENTION FOR TRANSVESTITE DIAMOND HEAD FANS?
JBL DEPORTING TIGER ALI SINGH TO A HEADHUNTER COLONY IN BRAZIL BECAUSE TAFT'S BATHTUB TECHNICIAN DISCOVERED THAT FESTER BLATS IS REALLY FROM PLANET STASIAK?
SHAWN STASIAK VISITING PHLEEBHUT IN SEARCH OF A MONOLITH BURGER BUT SADLY HAVING TO SETTLE FOR A DETONATED MARSHMELLOW ON PLANET PESTULON?
REMEMBERED TO SHUT THE STOVE OFF, BUT FORGOT TO FLUSH THE TOILET BECAUSE HE'S NOT BOTHERED BY THE STENCH OF HIS OWN PRODUCT GOD NEEDS A JUDGE DREAD SANDWICH?
GENE HOGLAN STAPLING CANDICE MICHELLE'S TITS TOGETHER THEN GLUEING CRUSH'S FEET TO THE RING TO PROVE THAT BLACKJACK HETFIELD LIKES PROHIBITION THEMED PIZZA?
GREG GAGNE SELLING HIS SOUL TO HUEY LEWIS BECAUSE KING LOUIS XIV DECIDED TO SHOW OFF HIS FECAL ACCOMPLISHMENT TO DON MURACO?
POUNDS ON THE VENDING MACHINE TO SHAKE OUT A FEW EXTRA CANDY BARS GOD NEEDS A BAG OF RECIPT FLAVORED POTATO CHIPS?
Stool softener god fisting john tardy kicked himself in the nuts so he could do session vocals for macabre god while running away from apg after he ate his last stuffed shell?
ANDREAS KISSER CATCHING THE FLU AND BEATING BIRDIE TO DEATH WITH A COWBOY HAT BECAUSE SHERRY MARTEL DOES NOT HAVE A PERMIT TO MASTURBATE IN IRAN?
GOUVERNEUR MORRIS BUNGEE JUMPING OFF MSG BECAUSE SHERRI MARTEL NEVER CONSIDERED DEDICATING HER LIFE TO FIRED SEAFOOD?
RICHARD MANN CANNOEING ACROSS THE MEDITERAINIAN SEA IN SEARCH OF BOB REMUS' EX-WIFE HOPING TO INHERIT THE IDENITY OF COMMISSIONER SLAUGHTER?
NEXT TIME LIGHT A MATCH GOD NEEDS AN S.D. JONES AUTOGRAPHED PING PONG TABLE BECAUSE ARTHUR MILLER WAS NOT CREDITED WITH THE START OF THE GRUNGE MOVEMENT?
TRIED TO HOLD IT IN, BUT LET A JUICY ONE SLIP GOD NEEDS A BBQ SAUCE STAINED WIFE BEATER DIPPED IN CHOCOLATE SAUCE?
STUNK UP THE BATHROOM ON A ONE NIGHT STAND GOD NEEDS A SMORES PIZZA WITH MEXICAN JUMPING BEANS?
BILL EADIE, THE LED ZEPPELIN LOVING ARCHEOLOGIST FROM HADES?
LARRY SHREVE, THE BARBER'S POLE MANUFACTURER?
RUGGED RONNIE GARVIN, THE CANNIBAL FLOURIST?
BLACK JACK LANZA, THE PLANET TO PLANET LIFE INSURANCE SALESMAN?
DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH GOD NEEDS A FLANNEL UMBRELLA TO VISIT SEATTLE FOR THE 'KICK THE SHIT OUT OF NEVERMORE' FEST?
DON KNOTTS LEAGALLY CHANGING CHRIS MASTERS' NAME TO FLATULANT FOX BECAUSE GENE HOGLAN DID NOT REPLACE JOHN RITTER ON THREE'S COMPANY?
JAY LENO FAXING THE UNIBOMBER'S MANIFESTO TO RICKY STEAMBOAT'S BIGGEST FAN BECAUSE SKULLETON HAS NOT COMPLETED A FULL TOUR OF SVALBARD?
SKINNER CRASHING A SNOWMOBILE INTO THE BOSTON GARDEN TO PROVE THAT SHANE EMBURY DOES NOT HAVE A VALID OPINION ON THE HISTORY OF MARK CANTURBURY'S PETS?
RALPH MACHIO ASCENDING FROM HADES WITH A SIGN READING 'BRING BACK VIRGIL' BECAUSE SCOTT BIGELOW'S GURSE JOINT WAS NOT BUILT IN HONOUR OF ULYSESS S. GRANT'S CIVIL WAR ERA BEARD?
REFUSES TO ADMIT THAT THE CIVIL WAR ENDED GOD NEEDS A SOUTHERN, DEEP-FIRED WRESTLING MAT AUTOGRAPHED BY EVERYONE THAT EVER PLAYED DRUMS FOR TESTAMENT?
JERRY LAWLER PILEDRIVING HIS SON INTO THE PAVEMENT FOR BREAKING HIS THUMB AT A DOOSHBAGS CONCERT?
PULLS OVER TO TAKE A DUMP ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD JUST IN CASE GOD NEEDS A TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION AUTOGRAPHED BOWLINGBALL DIPPED IN TOBASCO SAUCE?
GOING ICE FISHING WITH CARLITO IN ARUBA VS. SINGING KAREOKE WITH HAD A BAD DAY GOD AT FAGGINS?
DON DECKER TAKING A DUMP IN A VICTORIA'S SECRET RESTROOM FOR THE PURE JOY OF STINKING UP THE BATHROOM IN FRONT OF SUPER MODELS BECAUSE THE MISSISSIPPI MAULER COULD NOT DECIDE IF HE LIKED ENGLISH OR UGANDAN FOOD BETTER?
1,000 HOMO DJ'S VS. 1,000 MONA LISAS?
APG REPEATEDLY DOING BACKFLIPS ON TOP OF JBL'S LIMO BECAUSE MICK JAGGER INVITED PAUL ORNDORFF TO DINNER IN FRONT OF DICK CHENY'S PET MOOSE?
SKY LOW-LOW HANGING OUT WITH ORGY, TRYING TO PICK UP ON HIP NEW GRINDCORE LINGO BECAUSE PISSED OFF 'CAUSE HE MISSED THE ELEVATOR GOD AT ONE TIME ASPIRED TO HAVE A HOAGIE WITH BRUNO SAMMARTINO?
JOEY JOE JOE JUNIOR SHABBADOO DEPRESSIVELY DRINKING A GLASS OF ANTI-FREEZE IN A BAR BECAUSE BLAKE BEVERLY WAS NEVER A SEGA GENESIS WORLD CHAMPION?
GUFFAW GUFFAW, INDIANS NEVER EXISTED CAW.
TOM ARAYA ARRESTING ARN "THE BARN" EMPHATICO BECAUSE SYCHO SID REFUSED TO AUTOGRAPH JONNY ROTTEN'S BOOTLEGGED COPY OF THE SKYSCRAPPERS DVD?
JOEY STYLES DECAPITATING TAKA MICHINOKU OUT OF ANGER, THEN INTERRUPTING THE STATE OF THE WORLD ADDRESS TO WHACK OFF IN ORDER TO DISPELL ALL RUMORS THAT HE IS BLACK?
JACK TUNNY REGRETFULLY ADMITTING THAT HE WAS NOT PRESENT FOR HAKU'S CORONATION BECAUSE MATT MORGAN AND BUBBA RAY DUDDLEY CONFESSED TO JEALOUSY OVER NECRO'S SPEECH IMPEDIMENT AND MUHAMMAD ALI'S RARE HOLY TERROR COLLECTION ON LASER DISC?
DARREN DROZDOV SCALING THE EIFFEL TOWER ON RAW TO PROVE THAT NIGGERS ARE NOT CHINESE?
ARMANDO ALEJANDRO ESTRADA HAVING A CALZONE WITH RICK ROZZ BECAUSE KANE DECIDED TO CONVERT TO THE JEWISH FAITH?
PLAYING A FRIENDLY ROUND OF GOLF WITH THE HALLOWEEN HAVOC PHANTOM?
"I'd like to send a big FUCK YOU out to Japan right now!" -Necro (circa 2005)