On a positive note
I havene't posted about it on LJ, but the past week and a half has been filled with so much shitty stuff it's unbelievable. I haven't even talked about all of it. So for a change of pace and the sake of my sanity, let's focus on some of the positive things that have come about lately.
1. I bought a digital piano. I've been thinking about doing it for a long time now. Depression motivates me quite well to spend money, so I finally bought it. It's a Casio, but I think the features make up for the brand. 88 fully scaled hammer weighted keys, 128 note polyphony (Yamaha only had 32!) and a stand included that makes it look almost like an upright. It's on its way, and even if I lose a little sound quality with the Casio brand, I despise keyboard keys so the weight is important, and with the kind of music I play, 32 note polyphony just isn't enough. Now as soon as it arrives and Mom sends my sheet music from home, I'm in good shape.
2. Vacation to Alghero, Italy on the island of Sardinia. Lots of drama getting this one set up, but I get three full days on an Italian beach with Kyle from Intel, and my friend Sarah, who is a Comm O up in England. Could not ask for better travel companions, so I'm happy with the way it worked out.
3. Despite having to swap out my entire social circle, I'm on a good start. I met a few new interesting people (albiet pilots.. but A-10 pilots so they're cool), and reconnected with the pilot about whom I had to make that rule a while back (didn't make the LJ post, sorry). But all is well. I was glad for the invite, actually, as I thought he'd pretty much forgotten about me. Mike is being a little flaky, but I suspect it's because he knows I know he likes me, and I've done almost nothing to either incourage or discourage. If he doesn't have the confidence to press on and pursue, he doesn't have the personality type to have anything with me. As far as I'm concerned, it's all on him right now. I've given him signs if he knows where to look, but I'll not waste energy chasing. Not my style. Be the flame, not the moth.
4. I was hand chosen to MC at the group commander's farewell dinner. By the deputy commander. Apparantly he's been putting my name in for a lot of things lately. I don't know what I did to impress him, but I'm doing something right.
5. My name is in the hat for the MSG exec job. I'm up against 2 other LT's, and two Capt's. As a 2LT I pretty much don't stand a chance, but I'm flattered by the recommendation. Another sign that I'm doing something right. It's probably a good thing I don't know what I'm doing right, because then my subconscious can't fuck it up!
So all is not despair. I just need to keep reminding myself of the good stuff instead of the bad. Look hard enough and it's always there.
1. I bought a digital piano. I've been thinking about doing it for a long time now. Depression motivates me quite well to spend money, so I finally bought it. It's a Casio, but I think the features make up for the brand. 88 fully scaled hammer weighted keys, 128 note polyphony (Yamaha only had 32!) and a stand included that makes it look almost like an upright. It's on its way, and even if I lose a little sound quality with the Casio brand, I despise keyboard keys so the weight is important, and with the kind of music I play, 32 note polyphony just isn't enough. Now as soon as it arrives and Mom sends my sheet music from home, I'm in good shape.
2. Vacation to Alghero, Italy on the island of Sardinia. Lots of drama getting this one set up, but I get three full days on an Italian beach with Kyle from Intel, and my friend Sarah, who is a Comm O up in England. Could not ask for better travel companions, so I'm happy with the way it worked out.
3. Despite having to swap out my entire social circle, I'm on a good start. I met a few new interesting people (albiet pilots.. but A-10 pilots so they're cool), and reconnected with the pilot about whom I had to make that rule a while back (didn't make the LJ post, sorry). But all is well. I was glad for the invite, actually, as I thought he'd pretty much forgotten about me. Mike is being a little flaky, but I suspect it's because he knows I know he likes me, and I've done almost nothing to either incourage or discourage. If he doesn't have the confidence to press on and pursue, he doesn't have the personality type to have anything with me. As far as I'm concerned, it's all on him right now. I've given him signs if he knows where to look, but I'll not waste energy chasing. Not my style. Be the flame, not the moth.
4. I was hand chosen to MC at the group commander's farewell dinner. By the deputy commander. Apparantly he's been putting my name in for a lot of things lately. I don't know what I did to impress him, but I'm doing something right.
5. My name is in the hat for the MSG exec job. I'm up against 2 other LT's, and two Capt's. As a 2LT I pretty much don't stand a chance, but I'm flattered by the recommendation. Another sign that I'm doing something right. It's probably a good thing I don't know what I'm doing right, because then my subconscious can't fuck it up!
So all is not despair. I just need to keep reminding myself of the good stuff instead of the bad. Look hard enough and it's always there.