sucks
So basically my today sucked in such a way as to be considered total.
I'm not going to go into details, but suffice it to say I'm absolutely furious with my best friend. If she decides to check her e-mail she'll know why...but I bet she's been too "busy" to do that.
I spent all day looking forward to seeing Rachel. Well I got to, yes. eventually, I did get to do the talking thing. I told her I had a thing for her and I had no idea how she felt and I kissed her...we didn't kiss much, it was soft and little and fast. anyhow, the jist of this story is "I would say yes, but my life is so crazy and stressful right now." now, of course she also managed to commit the cardinal sin of dealing with zach...leaving him hope. She said she's really good at predicting what was going to happen, and she said that she could see me ended up with someone else right when her life calmed down and she was ready. the whore.
I took off my sandals for the walk back to my dorm...I needed to not think about her and that was the only thing that would make me cold enough to manage that.
oh, I finally get back to my dorm, and guess what? my external harddrive decided to crap out on me, and erase everything on it (over 100 gigabytes of stuff).
I want to smoke, I want to drink, I want to cry, I want to sleep, I want to take something sharp and run it across my skin. I don't want to see my parents tomarrow...I don't want to talk to anat...I don't want to go to class tomarrow. most of all, I want to stop seeing/hearing about people being fucking happy with their significant others for ten minutes.
before I got back into my dorm tonight I saw two kids I know making out outside. Why is it all so hard for me? so, I told her the truth...I'd been thinking about doing it for a week, and although I pictured every possible ending,and hoped it would go well...I knew it wouldn't. I hoped to god it would go well, but nothing ever does for me...unless I don't have enough time to enjoy it
I'm not going to go into details, but suffice it to say I'm absolutely furious with my best friend. If she decides to check her e-mail she'll know why...but I bet she's been too "busy" to do that.
I spent all day looking forward to seeing Rachel. Well I got to, yes. eventually, I did get to do the talking thing. I told her I had a thing for her and I had no idea how she felt and I kissed her...we didn't kiss much, it was soft and little and fast. anyhow, the jist of this story is "I would say yes, but my life is so crazy and stressful right now." now, of course she also managed to commit the cardinal sin of dealing with zach...leaving him hope. She said she's really good at predicting what was going to happen, and she said that she could see me ended up with someone else right when her life calmed down and she was ready. the whore.
I took off my sandals for the walk back to my dorm...I needed to not think about her and that was the only thing that would make me cold enough to manage that.
oh, I finally get back to my dorm, and guess what? my external harddrive decided to crap out on me, and erase everything on it (over 100 gigabytes of stuff).
I want to smoke, I want to drink, I want to cry, I want to sleep, I want to take something sharp and run it across my skin. I don't want to see my parents tomarrow...I don't want to talk to anat...I don't want to go to class tomarrow. most of all, I want to stop seeing/hearing about people being fucking happy with their significant others for ten minutes.
before I got back into my dorm tonight I saw two kids I know making out outside. Why is it all so hard for me? so, I told her the truth...I'd been thinking about doing it for a week, and although I pictured every possible ending,and hoped it would go well...I knew it wouldn't. I hoped to god it would go well, but nothing ever does for me...unless I don't have enough time to enjoy it