Reasons why I hate my husband.
So the title is really a lie... I love my husband. But he posts all sorts of creepy crap in a random pictures community all the time and I end up in train wreck mode and getting intrigued.
This particular case: The Human Centipede.
So I know I'm behind the curve on this one, but here's a quick synopsis. Dr. Mengele's long-lost brother (not really, but may as well be) sews his three rotweillers ass to mouth to make a "centipede". It is implied that they died, big surprise. So he decides to take it up a notch and use humans instead. Three of them, surgically attached, in a line. The "lead" is twice abducted. The first is deemed incompatible and killed, the other is Japanese and only speaks his language. So they really didn't get the best end of the stick, sucks to be them. It's not them that's frustrating. It's number two (haha) and number 3, the girls.
They are in Germany, where the film takes place, going to a nightclub.
Scene 1: We see them in the hotel. One is getting ready, the other is getting directions to said nightclub. She does not make any note of these directions; or in fact show any sign that she is listening to the person she called to get them from.
Scene 2: In the car. They get lost. See scene 1. The girl who refused to take the whole getting directions thing seriously is starting to whine. The tire blows. They get out, look at it and discuss whether or not they know how to change a tire. Newsflash: NOW is the time to make an attempt to learn. Instead we sit in the car for a while, whine some more and get lewd insinuations from the only driver to pass by. Their solution? Walk in the woods in the middle of the night to look for help.
Now, I'm not implying that anyone is really an ideal candidate for having your mouth sewn to someone else's ass, but if there were such criteria they would look something like the above.
So the girls could have easily done more to avoid the fate to come, but failed miserably. They end up at this doctor's house, assume his cartoony sounds are him calling for help and take drinks from him. Because we all know the safest thing in the world to do is to accept drinks from openly creepy strangers who live in the middle of fucking nowhere.
The drinks are drugged. I'm sure you're as surprised about this as me. Shocked, in fact. They end up downstairs on medical beds in a makeshift lab/torture chamber thingie.
One of the girls manages to break free. Huzzah! She gets upstairs and ends up in the pool.... cuz yanno, refreshing and all. The power goes out and she's in the clear. There's a broken window she can get through and get out to get the Police or whatever. But no, she chooses the noble route... which apparently means hefting your drugged friend out of bed and up the stairs when it looks like the most lifting you've ever done is a hair dryer.
She gets recaptured. Surprise city.
So the surgery stuff was somewhat booging (I dislike depictions of dentistry in all forms, really...) but the movie was really just.... there. Once you got used to the concept, there was nothing left to hold your interest.
I dunno. I just blame my husband.
This particular case: The Human Centipede.
So I know I'm behind the curve on this one, but here's a quick synopsis. Dr. Mengele's long-lost brother (not really, but may as well be) sews his three rotweillers ass to mouth to make a "centipede". It is implied that they died, big surprise. So he decides to take it up a notch and use humans instead. Three of them, surgically attached, in a line. The "lead" is twice abducted. The first is deemed incompatible and killed, the other is Japanese and only speaks his language. So they really didn't get the best end of the stick, sucks to be them. It's not them that's frustrating. It's number two (haha) and number 3, the girls.
They are in Germany, where the film takes place, going to a nightclub.
Scene 1: We see them in the hotel. One is getting ready, the other is getting directions to said nightclub. She does not make any note of these directions; or in fact show any sign that she is listening to the person she called to get them from.
Scene 2: In the car. They get lost. See scene 1. The girl who refused to take the whole getting directions thing seriously is starting to whine. The tire blows. They get out, look at it and discuss whether or not they know how to change a tire. Newsflash: NOW is the time to make an attempt to learn. Instead we sit in the car for a while, whine some more and get lewd insinuations from the only driver to pass by. Their solution? Walk in the woods in the middle of the night to look for help.
Now, I'm not implying that anyone is really an ideal candidate for having your mouth sewn to someone else's ass, but if there were such criteria they would look something like the above.
So the girls could have easily done more to avoid the fate to come, but failed miserably. They end up at this doctor's house, assume his cartoony sounds are him calling for help and take drinks from him. Because we all know the safest thing in the world to do is to accept drinks from openly creepy strangers who live in the middle of fucking nowhere.
The drinks are drugged. I'm sure you're as surprised about this as me. Shocked, in fact. They end up downstairs on medical beds in a makeshift lab/torture chamber thingie.
One of the girls manages to break free. Huzzah! She gets upstairs and ends up in the pool.... cuz yanno, refreshing and all. The power goes out and she's in the clear. There's a broken window she can get through and get out to get the Police or whatever. But no, she chooses the noble route... which apparently means hefting your drugged friend out of bed and up the stairs when it looks like the most lifting you've ever done is a hair dryer.
She gets recaptured. Surprise city.
So the surgery stuff was somewhat booging (I dislike depictions of dentistry in all forms, really...) but the movie was really just.... there. Once you got used to the concept, there was nothing left to hold your interest.
I dunno. I just blame my husband.