(no subject)
This is again one of my "totally paralysed"-songs. Or at least the beginning is. You just can't move, 'cause you feel so much that you can't feel anything. You don't want to die, but you could just go ahead and kill yourself. Feels like someone would stab you in the back and slowly twist the knife around. Or like you'd want that someone would stab you. If I would kill myself, it would be in this mood, when nothing matters, everything's so far away and meaningless. Oh, how I want to cut. But everything's fine. I should just shut up and mind my own business. Feel so lonely and unloved. Should be packing. And I've been pondering, if I could fuck up my arm just one more time. It's so wonderful to feel the blade on your skin... Did some little scratches here and there. uh, whatever.