(no subject)
Man, I hope I do well on the test tomorrow...i'm all burnt out. I'm going to head to sleep, but first, a quick update.
I was listening to music while doing fuck-all in my room, and this one came on and it got me thinking. It's a really good one...Switchfoot, '24'.
"24"
Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I wan to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me
I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.
I'm trying to not cop out...but it's been so hard. This place is stressing me beyond belief, being stuck here, working myself ragged and having nothing to show for it. Having noone to fall back on, to reassure me, to comfort me, nothing.
It's hit me hard, the trouble with Jessica. It's hard coming to terms with being cast away like that. Especially with...forget it. Noone listens to me. I'm obviously not doing enough...more like i'm just not wanted. I'm not good enough, and you'd think i'd be used to it by now, but i'm not. I'm so inferior here. Nothing i've done compares to what the rest of the people here have done. I don't deserve to be here. I don't fucking belong.
I'm trying to not cop out...i don't know how much longer it'll last though.
I can't wait for my interview with Chief tomorrow...I'm going to let some of this out. Get some stuff done. Get me figured out, try to save myself. Doubtful, though. I fear (heh...not really) that it's already too late. Eh. Fuck it, then, if it is.
Me. Sleep. Now. Bye.
I was listening to music while doing fuck-all in my room, and this one came on and it got me thinking. It's a really good one...Switchfoot, '24'.
"24"
Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I wan to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me
I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.
I'm trying to not cop out...but it's been so hard. This place is stressing me beyond belief, being stuck here, working myself ragged and having nothing to show for it. Having noone to fall back on, to reassure me, to comfort me, nothing.
It's hit me hard, the trouble with Jessica. It's hard coming to terms with being cast away like that. Especially with...forget it. Noone listens to me. I'm obviously not doing enough...more like i'm just not wanted. I'm not good enough, and you'd think i'd be used to it by now, but i'm not. I'm so inferior here. Nothing i've done compares to what the rest of the people here have done. I don't deserve to be here. I don't fucking belong.
I'm trying to not cop out...i don't know how much longer it'll last though.
I can't wait for my interview with Chief tomorrow...I'm going to let some of this out. Get some stuff done. Get me figured out, try to save myself. Doubtful, though. I fear (heh...not really) that it's already too late. Eh. Fuck it, then, if it is.
Me. Sleep. Now. Bye.