Okay for clarification
That last journal is stuff my mother would like to know... she probably never will, though, which makes it easier to write, but in order for me to show my mother how much I really love her, I wouldnt' want anything standing in the way... My mom is the greatest person I know... I tell all my friends that she's the coolest lady over 40 that I know.. and my g-ma is the coolest lady over 65 that I know... so just for your all understanding and what not, that wasn't meant to be hurtful, even if it came off that way...