Clueless confused people that make you go "WTF"
Every so often, I get IMed or added as an IM buddy by completely random people who are not spammers. Usually, they're friends of my clueless 12yo cousin who gave my ID to all of her clueless friends. That makes me expect Romanians, so I greet them in Romanian and try to be understanding. Turned out this time, a different kind of confused user came my way.
(11:10:08) rosli lee has added you as a friend.
(11:10:08) me: salut
(11:10:16) rosli lee: salut what
(11:10:33) me: How did you find my ID?
(11:10:52) rosli lee: whos is this
[What I can never seem to figure out is this: For the love of making any sense, how in the world, after getting someone's IM, you message them, then ask "who is this" ?!]
(11:11:05) rosli lee: jason from myspace
(11:11:29) me: What is your myspace URL?
(11:12:10) rosli lee: http://www.myspace.com/roslee88
(11:12:54) rosli lee: helo
(11:14:03) me: Do you work for Oracle?
(11:14:18) rosli lee: no just put
(11:14:28) rosli lee: i have some ability see future
(11:14:36) me: oh
(11:14:50) me: can you tell me what I'm going to type in the very near future, like 5 minutes from now?
(11:15:14) rosli lee: i never see you
(11:15:22) rosli lee: even face
(11:15:27) rosli lee: how to do
(11:16:10) me: ok, do you have some ability to see your own past?
(11:16:26) rosli lee: no
(11:18:14) me: Um, you don' t have a memory?
(11:18:24) rosli lee: no
(11:18:35) rosli lee: becouse i adopted family
(11:19:23) me: ?!? Anyway, are you from Malaysia?
(11:19:40) rosli lee: yup
(11:19:46) rosli lee: why you asking
(11:19:56) rosli lee: i send something about you
(11:20:01) me: do you know who I am?
(11:20:20) rosli lee: yes
(11:20:36) rosli lee: some people have power by using money
(11:20:52) rosli lee: i dont care about that
(11:20:57) rosli lee: i want friend only
(11:21:39) me: who am I?
(11:21:54) me: I'm trying to make sure you're not mistaking me for someone else
(11:22:14) rosli lee: i cant tell
(11:22:20) rosli lee: i promise some one
(11:23:26) me: huh?
(11:23:36) me: look buddy, I think you're a bit messed up in the head
(11:23:55) me: unless you come up with a good explanation of how you found my Yahoo ID, I'm going to ban/ignore you
(11:26:30) rosli lee: from this internet
(11:26:37) rosli lee: i just add
(11:26:39) rosli lee: why can
(11:26:44) rosli lee: cant it ok
(11:26:55) rosli lee: many friend i can be frien
(11:28:07) me: You mean you just add people at random?
(11:30:53) rosli lee: yup
(11:30:59) rosli lee: sory if distube you
(11:34:13) me: idiot
(11:34:18) me: /ban /ignore
(11:34:19) rosli lee: sory
(11:34:44) roslee_101: you igno it
(11:34:50) roslee_101: i dont know how
(11:35:12) me: Sorry, this person is ignoring your stupid lousy messages. Press any key then Enter to continue.
(11:35:28) roslee_101: a
(11:35:41) me: Sorry, this person is ignoring your stupid lousy messages. Press any digit key then Enter to continue.
(11:38:18) roslee_101: 13413123
(11:38:37) me: Sorry, this person is ignoring your stupid lousy messages. Press the Control key then Enter to continue.
(11:45:27) me: You have 2 minutes left to press the Ctrl key then Enter, or else your computer will explode.
(11:46:30) me: 1 minute left!
(11:47:05) me: 30 seconds left! We recommend running away.
(11:47:26) me: Wait, come back. You can also press the '2' key then Enter to stop the EXPLOSION process.
(11:47:58) roslee_101: 2
(11:48:09) me: Too late. Your computer will explode in 10 seconds
(11:48:13) me: 9
(11:48:14) me: 8
(11:48:15) me: 7
(11:48:16) me: 6
(11:48:17) me: 5
(11:48:18) me: RUN AWAY!!!!
(11:48:19) me: 4
(11:48:20) me: 3
(11:48:21) me: 2
(11:48:22) me: 1
(11:48:23) me: 0
(11:48:24) me: BOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
(11:48:50) me: In case the explosion was not complete, type "IMEEDEEOT" then press Enter.
(12:28:51) me: This is a non-existent message on the ghost screen of an exploded computer.
[After 40 minutes with no reply, I guess they perished in the explosion]