Mar 16, 2005 22:25
single, and it's not bothering me.
Who knew it was possible.
I'm tired of using people for temporary satisfaction,
I know it seems trite and silly, but I seriously don't feel like it is worth it in the long run.
I hope I can find someone who feels the same way but can understand my past actions.
This time...i'm going to save the effort for someone I really love, or could love.
to tell the truth, I don't even know how i've been filling my time.
I read way too much grafitti history which led me to the conclusion that I don't really want to do it any more.
I'm interested in street art/stencils/stickers still, it is inherently more creative and there isn't the negative connotation which comes with graff.
Graffitti can never be what it once was, but I am happy that I was able to feel it.
I have this weird...I don't know what to call it.
But if someone describes an experience to me, I can feel what it was like.
It may sound cheesy but it's true.
I know exactly what it would feel like to wake up one morning in new york city in a tiny apartment without heating filled with half empty spray cans with tips from cooking and deoderant aerosols on them, slowly getting up off my single thin matress which lies on the floor and taking my first steps onto a cold wood floor which I can feel shaking from the subway below me as I put on some clothes as fast as I can and make my way into the bathroom preparing for work or school. Making my way down the stairwell and checking the mail, seeing the blue hue of the city shining in through the frosted glass door of my apartment niche. Opening the door to be hit with a rush of freezing wind and pulling my thick hood over my head instantly. Walking down the bland grey streets with a cigarette I found on my counter from who knows when, smoking not because I want one, just to keep my mind off my numb hands. Ducking down into the underground, pushing a dollar in quaters into the machine for a ticket and watching a car freshly painted top to bottom roll in for me to take to my destination. The exhilaration would be overpowering, the color, the statement, the beauty. It will never be the same. Walls just arent the same thing. Those pieces really were made to move, another thing which I sadly will never witness in person.
I still like the idea of tagging, that really captures me. taki 183 is an inspiration, undoubtedly.
but I dont think that lame shit like throwups and all that are nessecary.
I really like the idea of really huge rollers in really remote locations.
I like stickers and stencils a lot, quick, easy to mass produce.
some other stuff I want to do, but wont give away ideas for.
I got the hotel job, I start tomorrow at 2, officially, well training anyways.
the other day turned out to be just paperwork.
uh, i dont know what else.
yeah.
have a good day.