[oneshot] Instant Parents
It was supposed to be another great Sunday morning for Kamenashi Kazuya until he found something..
Or to be precise someone..
Kame: OMG!! OMG!! Jinnn!!!
Jin : What? What?? *get out from bathroom in his towel*
Kame: *panic* There's...there's..a..baby..THERE'S A BABY IN OUR LIVING ROOM!!
Jin : *dumb face* Ya..I know..
Kame: OMG maybe some stranger put the baby in our living-- WAIT. You know about this??
Jin : The mother gave him to me this morning..with a basket of blueberry muffins.. *satisfied grin*
Kame: Who's the mother?
Jin : Uh..well..my sister..*avoiding any eye contact with Kame*
Kame: JIN..WE BOTH KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A SISTER!! Tell me who the mother is NOW!! *sharp eyes*
Jin : Well..actually..
Kame: *dramatic expression* OMG!!! I KNEW IT!! IT'S YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND'S BABY!! YOU HAD A BABY BEHIND MY BACK!!!
*starts cursing Jin* THAT'S IT!! YOU AND ME...IT'S OVER!!!
Jin : Oh God Kazuya..Now before you start to cry, pack your bags and try to kill me with the kitchen's knife AGAIN, he's our neighbor’s baby. Satisfied?
Kame: *wide eyes* Mrs. Hasegawa had a baby?? In her 90's???
Jin : *laughs* No, silly..It's our new neighbour. She lives two doors away from us.
Kame: *still feeling a lil bit suspicious* What's her name?
Jin : Er..I don't know..I just met her..
Kame: What do you mean you don't know her name? Don't you know anything about the mother?
Jin : I JUST MET HER!! And she seems a lil bit rushed..
Kame: *holds his head* Did she say anything else?
Jin : *tries to remember* Well..she said she's a die-hard fan of KAT-TUN and she's also a big supporter of Akame...And then she said she'll be back after three days..
Kame: THREE DAYS??! *gets panic again* Jin, this is crazy!! What if she doesn't come back after three days??
What if..what if she's actually a crazy woman who killed her husband and ran away to Mexico with one million dollars?? If that's happen we have to take care of the baby until he's 18!! You shouldn't agree to take the baby in the first place!!
Jin : Oh Come on!! She seems like a nice woman..and she gave us blueberry muffins! *makes sure that he stressed on the word 'blueberry' and 'muffin'* I mean..how can a murderer makes such a delicious muffin?
Plus, look at the baby.. *points at the baby who's sleeping in his crib* how can I say no to the cutest little thing like him?
Kame: *smiles and starts to calm down as soon as he sees the baby* Owhh..he's sooo cute *touches the baby's soft cheeks* You're right Jin..he's such an angel!!
Jin : See..I told you! He's cute, huh? *joins Kame to poke the baby*
Kame: So..what's his name?
Jin : Dunno.I forgot to ask his mother.
Kame: Hmm..*thinking of a good name* Maybe we can call him Armani, after Giorgio Armani..or Issey, after Issey Miyake..or maybe Versace..
Jin : Gessh..What a weird name for a baby! Let's call him Yuya! *smiles*
Kame: *looks at Jin* Jin! That's my character's name in Sapuri!
Jin : Hey! There are thousands of people with that name! What makes you think that I copy you?
Kame: *ignores Jin* Owh little Armani..you are so cute~
Jin : He's a sleeping angel..isn't he? *realize something* and his name is not Armani! It's Yuya!
*****************************
They were right. Babies are indeed angels, except when they start to cry and scream. Soon, they'll become little devils..
3 AM, Akame's Apartment
Baby: Whaaaaa~~~
Kame: *sleepy eyes* Oh God..He's crying AGAIN!! Jin..wake up!
Jin : *dreaming* Oh..no..I don't want peanut butter filling! I want red bean! Red bean!!
Kame: JINNN!!!! WAKE UPPP!!!! *yells at Jin's ear*
Jin : *quickly sits up with eyes wide open* What was that? Where am I? Where's my dorayaki??
Kame: Jin..The baby's crying!
Jin : Again?? Oh God..we've changed his diaper one hour ago..now what?
Kame: Well, maybe he's hungry..*get up from bed*
Baby: Whaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~ *I want my milk NOW!!!*
Kame: Calm down Armani..*holds the baby and starts joggling him around* Jin,faster!
Jin : *eyes half-opened* I am..I am..*weakly shaking the bottle of milk*
Kame: *takes the bottle from Jin and gives it to the baby* Here you go..*yawning*
Soon, the baby went back to sleep..and so did Akame.5.30 AM, little Armani, or Yuya or whatever his name is, cried again. This time, he wanted his diaper to be changed..
******************************
9 AM. JE bulding
T-TUN are waiting for the two lovers to arrive for their new Potato photo shoot. They gape as soon as they see Akame, both with red eyes and look pale with exhaustion. With them is a baby.
Koki : Wow..Kame..we didn't know that you were pregn-
Kame : SHUT UP!! *drinks extra-caffeine cappucino* This is all Jin's fault!!
Jin : Wha..me? I was just trying to help the poor woman! Well of course, At that time I didn't know that a baby has to eat every single hour and refuse to go to sleep..And don't let me start telling you about changing nappies..the smell..*shakes his head*
Junno: *holds the baby while Maru making weird faces to make the baby laugh* How strange..he got Kame's eyes and Jin's lips!
Kame : Really? *blushes* He's a cute baby isn't he? *smiles at Jin*
Jin : *grins* Yeah..
Junno: Come on Uepi! Try to hold him! Just for a second~ *hands the baby to Ueda who looks scared*
Ueda : No..No..No…I can't handle babies coz I hate them!
Maru : How can you hate them? Look at him..he's so adorable~~
Kame : Well..actually, they're not so adorable when they cry. Little Armani has the loudest scream I've ever heard!
Jin : Yeah..he yelled when we arrived at a restaurant for breakfast. And I'm telling you, it was not a cute little wail. It was piercing, full-throated 'Help Me These Two Guys Have Kidnapped Me And Wanna Sell Me To Taiwan' kinda scream..
Ueda : *To Junno* See..I've told you..babies are evil!
Junno: *pouts*
Koki : Btw, you named your baby Armani?? That's so weird!
Jin : I know..I gave the name Yuya but he keeps calling the baby Armani.
Kame : His name IS Armani!!
Maru : *laughs*
Akame: What??
Maru : You two look like husband and wife arguing about your baby's name!
Koki : Just make another one! Then you'll both get to name your babies!
Akame: *blushing*
Manager: Guys! Get ready for your photosh- *stops talking when he sees the baby in Junno's lap* Whose baby is that?
Junno : Well..at this particular point, he's Akame's.
Akame: Hey! *blush again*
Kame: Well..actually we help a friend to take care of the baby for a moment..
Manager: Magnificent!! Just at the right time and place! You two take pictures with this baby! Akame's fans would be so happy to see this!
Akame: But..
Manager: No buts! Remember? FANSERVICE! Get ready now!! Kame, let's see whether the cardigan fits you well or not.
Kame : Cardigan?? What are you talking about??
Manager: Owh..didn't I tell you guys about the theme? It's a happy family theme!
KAT-TUN: *Gape*
*******************************
The photo shoot turned out so well, even the baby didn't cry or scream like he usually did. After the photo shoot, Akame decided to fill their lunch time by window shopping.
Kame: Owh..look! Baby Gap is having a promotion! God..There's 70% discount!!
Jin : 30000 yen for a baby suit??!! Oh my, fashion people are crazy!!!
Kame: Owh..that Dior suit looks so amazing!!
Jin : Kazu..it's for baby girl! Yuya's a boy!
Kame: I know..I'm not talking about Armani..I'm talking about our future daughter..Vera! *smiles*
Jin : V…Vera?? *speechless*
********************************
11 PM. Akame's apartment
Kame’s watching telly while Jin’s busy talking to someone on the phone.
Jin : Yuya's mother called. She said she'll pick him up tomorrow..
Kame: Eh?? I thought you said three days! *shock*
Jin : Well, apparently her oversea work took less time than she thought.
Kame: Oh..really? *sigh*
Jin : *hugs kame* Don't worry..we'll go visit him in our free times..
Kame: I’ll be missing the little guy…Owh..I want a baby too~
Jin : *helpless face* Uh..well..that will be quite difficult..but we'll try our very best..
Kame: *laughs* I dont't mean THAT kinda way, silly..I mean, we should adopt a baby!
Jin : Owh..*baka-ish grin* Kazu-chan..*touching kame's cheeks and lips*
Kame: Hmm..? *making sensual voice*
Baby: Whaaaaaaa~
Kame: Owh...there he goes again..I already fed him with baby formula 30 minutes ago!
Jin : I think he misses breastfeeding..
Kame: Uh..Well, we can't do anything..His mom isn't here..
Jin : No..Not baby Yuya...I mean baby Jinjin *sheepish grin*
Kame: Owh..*looks sharply at Jin* Umm..well, let's take a look at baby Armani first..then we'll see what we should do to the naughty naughty baby JinJin....*bites his lower lip*
-THE END-
Or to be precise someone..
Kame: OMG!! OMG!! Jinnn!!!
Jin : What? What?? *get out from bathroom in his towel*
Kame: *panic* There's...there's..a..baby..THERE'S A BABY IN OUR LIVING ROOM!!
Jin : *dumb face* Ya..I know..
Kame: OMG maybe some stranger put the baby in our living-- WAIT. You know about this??
Jin : The mother gave him to me this morning..with a basket of blueberry muffins.. *satisfied grin*
Kame: Who's the mother?
Jin : Uh..well..my sister..*avoiding any eye contact with Kame*
Kame: JIN..WE BOTH KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A SISTER!! Tell me who the mother is NOW!! *sharp eyes*
Jin : Well..actually..
Kame: *dramatic expression* OMG!!! I KNEW IT!! IT'S YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND'S BABY!! YOU HAD A BABY BEHIND MY BACK!!!
*starts cursing Jin* THAT'S IT!! YOU AND ME...IT'S OVER!!!
Jin : Oh God Kazuya..Now before you start to cry, pack your bags and try to kill me with the kitchen's knife AGAIN, he's our neighbor’s baby. Satisfied?
Kame: *wide eyes* Mrs. Hasegawa had a baby?? In her 90's???
Jin : *laughs* No, silly..It's our new neighbour. She lives two doors away from us.
Kame: *still feeling a lil bit suspicious* What's her name?
Jin : Er..I don't know..I just met her..
Kame: What do you mean you don't know her name? Don't you know anything about the mother?
Jin : I JUST MET HER!! And she seems a lil bit rushed..
Kame: *holds his head* Did she say anything else?
Jin : *tries to remember* Well..she said she's a die-hard fan of KAT-TUN and she's also a big supporter of Akame...And then she said she'll be back after three days..
Kame: THREE DAYS??! *gets panic again* Jin, this is crazy!! What if she doesn't come back after three days??
What if..what if she's actually a crazy woman who killed her husband and ran away to Mexico with one million dollars?? If that's happen we have to take care of the baby until he's 18!! You shouldn't agree to take the baby in the first place!!
Jin : Oh Come on!! She seems like a nice woman..and she gave us blueberry muffins! *makes sure that he stressed on the word 'blueberry' and 'muffin'* I mean..how can a murderer makes such a delicious muffin?
Plus, look at the baby.. *points at the baby who's sleeping in his crib* how can I say no to the cutest little thing like him?
Kame: *smiles and starts to calm down as soon as he sees the baby* Owhh..he's sooo cute *touches the baby's soft cheeks* You're right Jin..he's such an angel!!
Jin : See..I told you! He's cute, huh? *joins Kame to poke the baby*
Kame: So..what's his name?
Jin : Dunno.I forgot to ask his mother.
Kame: Hmm..*thinking of a good name* Maybe we can call him Armani, after Giorgio Armani..or Issey, after Issey Miyake..or maybe Versace..
Jin : Gessh..What a weird name for a baby! Let's call him Yuya! *smiles*
Kame: *looks at Jin* Jin! That's my character's name in Sapuri!
Jin : Hey! There are thousands of people with that name! What makes you think that I copy you?
Kame: *ignores Jin* Owh little Armani..you are so cute~
Jin : He's a sleeping angel..isn't he? *realize something* and his name is not Armani! It's Yuya!
*****************************
They were right. Babies are indeed angels, except when they start to cry and scream. Soon, they'll become little devils..
3 AM, Akame's Apartment
Baby: Whaaaaa~~~
Kame: *sleepy eyes* Oh God..He's crying AGAIN!! Jin..wake up!
Jin : *dreaming* Oh..no..I don't want peanut butter filling! I want red bean! Red bean!!
Kame: JINNN!!!! WAKE UPPP!!!! *yells at Jin's ear*
Jin : *quickly sits up with eyes wide open* What was that? Where am I? Where's my dorayaki??
Kame: Jin..The baby's crying!
Jin : Again?? Oh God..we've changed his diaper one hour ago..now what?
Kame: Well, maybe he's hungry..*get up from bed*
Baby: Whaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~ *I want my milk NOW!!!*
Kame: Calm down Armani..*holds the baby and starts joggling him around* Jin,faster!
Jin : *eyes half-opened* I am..I am..*weakly shaking the bottle of milk*
Kame: *takes the bottle from Jin and gives it to the baby* Here you go..*yawning*
Soon, the baby went back to sleep..and so did Akame.5.30 AM, little Armani, or Yuya or whatever his name is, cried again. This time, he wanted his diaper to be changed..
******************************
9 AM. JE bulding
T-TUN are waiting for the two lovers to arrive for their new Potato photo shoot. They gape as soon as they see Akame, both with red eyes and look pale with exhaustion. With them is a baby.
Koki : Wow..Kame..we didn't know that you were pregn-
Kame : SHUT UP!! *drinks extra-caffeine cappucino* This is all Jin's fault!!
Jin : Wha..me? I was just trying to help the poor woman! Well of course, At that time I didn't know that a baby has to eat every single hour and refuse to go to sleep..And don't let me start telling you about changing nappies..the smell..*shakes his head*
Junno: *holds the baby while Maru making weird faces to make the baby laugh* How strange..he got Kame's eyes and Jin's lips!
Kame : Really? *blushes* He's a cute baby isn't he? *smiles at Jin*
Jin : *grins* Yeah..
Junno: Come on Uepi! Try to hold him! Just for a second~ *hands the baby to Ueda who looks scared*
Ueda : No..No..No…I can't handle babies coz I hate them!
Maru : How can you hate them? Look at him..he's so adorable~~
Kame : Well..actually, they're not so adorable when they cry. Little Armani has the loudest scream I've ever heard!
Jin : Yeah..he yelled when we arrived at a restaurant for breakfast. And I'm telling you, it was not a cute little wail. It was piercing, full-throated 'Help Me These Two Guys Have Kidnapped Me And Wanna Sell Me To Taiwan' kinda scream..
Ueda : *To Junno* See..I've told you..babies are evil!
Junno: *pouts*
Koki : Btw, you named your baby Armani?? That's so weird!
Jin : I know..I gave the name Yuya but he keeps calling the baby Armani.
Kame : His name IS Armani!!
Maru : *laughs*
Akame: What??
Maru : You two look like husband and wife arguing about your baby's name!
Koki : Just make another one! Then you'll both get to name your babies!
Akame: *blushing*
Manager: Guys! Get ready for your photosh- *stops talking when he sees the baby in Junno's lap* Whose baby is that?
Junno : Well..at this particular point, he's Akame's.
Akame: Hey! *blush again*
Kame: Well..actually we help a friend to take care of the baby for a moment..
Manager: Magnificent!! Just at the right time and place! You two take pictures with this baby! Akame's fans would be so happy to see this!
Akame: But..
Manager: No buts! Remember? FANSERVICE! Get ready now!! Kame, let's see whether the cardigan fits you well or not.
Kame : Cardigan?? What are you talking about??
Manager: Owh..didn't I tell you guys about the theme? It's a happy family theme!
KAT-TUN: *Gape*
*******************************
The photo shoot turned out so well, even the baby didn't cry or scream like he usually did. After the photo shoot, Akame decided to fill their lunch time by window shopping.
Kame: Owh..look! Baby Gap is having a promotion! God..There's 70% discount!!
Jin : 30000 yen for a baby suit??!! Oh my, fashion people are crazy!!!
Kame: Owh..that Dior suit looks so amazing!!
Jin : Kazu..it's for baby girl! Yuya's a boy!
Kame: I know..I'm not talking about Armani..I'm talking about our future daughter..Vera! *smiles*
Jin : V…Vera?? *speechless*
********************************
11 PM. Akame's apartment
Kame’s watching telly while Jin’s busy talking to someone on the phone.
Jin : Yuya's mother called. She said she'll pick him up tomorrow..
Kame: Eh?? I thought you said three days! *shock*
Jin : Well, apparently her oversea work took less time than she thought.
Kame: Oh..really? *sigh*
Jin : *hugs kame* Don't worry..we'll go visit him in our free times..
Kame: I’ll be missing the little guy…Owh..I want a baby too~
Jin : *helpless face* Uh..well..that will be quite difficult..but we'll try our very best..
Kame: *laughs* I dont't mean THAT kinda way, silly..I mean, we should adopt a baby!
Jin : Owh..*baka-ish grin* Kazu-chan..*touching kame's cheeks and lips*
Kame: Hmm..? *making sensual voice*
Baby: Whaaaaaaa~
Kame: Owh...there he goes again..I already fed him with baby formula 30 minutes ago!
Jin : I think he misses breastfeeding..
Kame: Uh..Well, we can't do anything..His mom isn't here..
Jin : No..Not baby Yuya...I mean baby Jinjin *sheepish grin*
Kame: Owh..*looks sharply at Jin* Umm..well, let's take a look at baby Armani first..then we'll see what we should do to the naughty naughty baby JinJin....*bites his lower lip*
-THE END-