(no subject)
how shitty can one be? Let me count the ways.
I didn't get much sleep last night that could explain why. My girlfriend and I went to the mexican grill.. it was full of Americans.. strange.. anyways, the food was mild.. I really shouldn't be eating this much food. Anyways I only order the main meal, but I saw others who had a 3 full course anyways.. I just kinda feel shitty about my body, my weight.. everything..
I think its affecting my brain too much.. before I didn't give a shit about any of this I feel like I'm becoming obessive.. I train 3 times a week and 1 day of dancing. I dance all night.. great calorie burner. Anyways I just felt so shitty at the club I don't know.. Usually I go in there and I feel confident, happy.. but like my heart wasn't into it. I didn't feel pretty enough in there. My place wasn't with them was with all the uhmm "ugly" folks. My girlfriend and I had the chat about the fact that I shouldn't kill myself trying to build my body to a certain degree. I can't help it anymore, its bigger than me. I measure myself I weight myself with a digital scale to make sure every damn gram is recorded.
As if this wasn't enough, I went to buy myself a journal.. I already have a couple of health books.. went to waterstone.. English shop in brussels, got myself this really cool journal books to log everything.. everything i eat and everything I feel.. Is it all linked? I don't know.. when I'm happy I eat, when I'm not I don't eat. If I'm unhappy a lot of the time I should be in good shape. Does it mean I am happy? Really I just feel shitty..
About my new job.. I hate it... its a reality check to tell me .. get the fuck out of the office Tamara!! I can't hold an office job it seems.. I might be good at it, but i'm not happy at it. I thought it was just the work place, but it seems to me I don't like the work.
I always wanted to be a teacher....... I wanted to teach social studies.. which was my favorite class when I was in high school.
I'm putting a picture of me 1 month ago.. horrible.. in tunisia
I didn't get much sleep last night that could explain why. My girlfriend and I went to the mexican grill.. it was full of Americans.. strange.. anyways, the food was mild.. I really shouldn't be eating this much food. Anyways I only order the main meal, but I saw others who had a 3 full course anyways.. I just kinda feel shitty about my body, my weight.. everything..
I think its affecting my brain too much.. before I didn't give a shit about any of this I feel like I'm becoming obessive.. I train 3 times a week and 1 day of dancing. I dance all night.. great calorie burner. Anyways I just felt so shitty at the club I don't know.. Usually I go in there and I feel confident, happy.. but like my heart wasn't into it. I didn't feel pretty enough in there. My place wasn't with them was with all the uhmm "ugly" folks. My girlfriend and I had the chat about the fact that I shouldn't kill myself trying to build my body to a certain degree. I can't help it anymore, its bigger than me. I measure myself I weight myself with a digital scale to make sure every damn gram is recorded.
As if this wasn't enough, I went to buy myself a journal.. I already have a couple of health books.. went to waterstone.. English shop in brussels, got myself this really cool journal books to log everything.. everything i eat and everything I feel.. Is it all linked? I don't know.. when I'm happy I eat, when I'm not I don't eat. If I'm unhappy a lot of the time I should be in good shape. Does it mean I am happy? Really I just feel shitty..
About my new job.. I hate it... its a reality check to tell me .. get the fuck out of the office Tamara!! I can't hold an office job it seems.. I might be good at it, but i'm not happy at it. I thought it was just the work place, but it seems to me I don't like the work.
I always wanted to be a teacher....... I wanted to teach social studies.. which was my favorite class when I was in high school.
I'm putting a picture of me 1 month ago.. horrible.. in tunisia