Happy birthday to me~
Well, today is my 21st birthday! Holy crap, am I really that old?
That being said I've been a bit thoughtful today. Ya'know since this is the "legal age" for drinking and all. Before y'all get all "whoooo party time!" on me, I'd like to tell you guys a story.
Back before I really understood anything about life (see about 8 or 9 years old) I had an uncle. He was infact my very favorite uncle. This man wasn't really that old as far as uncles go, he was in his mid twenties when I was 9ish so he was at the age where he was still considered "cool" by us pre-teens. Atleast me.
He was perfect in almost every way. He always had great stories to share, he knew how to play all the board games, and he always made time for me when I wanted to visit. It was wonderful. The only time it wasn't fun was when he would drink... he would change into this... other person. He'd usually get quiet if we kids were around, but no matter what, if his mother was around, there was a fight. I mean... BAD fight. Yelling, cursing, and hate could be heard throughout every corner of any place they happened to be. It was unbearable. at that time, I couldn't understand why alcohol would make him that way. Alot of people in my family drink... but no one ever got that way... after a while life started to get to him. He was havin' trouble with his girlfriend at the moment, his work, his family, and any number of things you could think of.
He started to drink more and more because of it. And became more and more angry. He even started to lash out at us kids when he was drunk. He started to scare me. So, I pulled away from him. I stopped visiting... lookin' back, I think that made things worse for him, but I was just too scared to be around him. After a little while, I didn't really think about him too much anymore. He was just another relative I wasn't really close to. We'd go over to his mother's house (where he was still living at the moment) if we needed to be babysat and say our "hellos" to him, but we left him alone.
One summer we went to Honduras. We were gone the full two months. It was alot of fun... but we got a phone call about our uncle. He apparently had a very messy break up with his girlfriend and was fired in the same week... and one night... he killed himself by drinking too much.
This was my very first brush with death. This was the first time anyone in my family died that I was close too. I didn't understand. Well, I understood death, I just didn't understand the "how" or "why" of it... They explained to me that alcohol, too much of it, can poison the body. It could make you sick or even kill you which is what happened to my uncle.
I hated it. I thought it was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. We had so many D.A.R.E. programs and what the fuck ever at our Elementary school come to us and tell us how BAD drugs were and that they could kill us and that was the reason they were illegal. They told us the dangers of alcohol too, but alcohol was still LEGAL. This substance that POISONS the body was stilly LEGAL. My uncle died because of this and it was legal. I couldn't wrap my mind around it.
So... I made a promise. I made a promise that I would never in a million years drink. I would never fill my body with poison and change myself into something that I'm not. I know that not all people who drink become that sort of person. I still have alot of family that drinks and alot of friends that do too and they're fine. I'm not sayin' they shouldn't drink. I'm just sayin' I never will.
So yea, I've been thinkin' about all of this on this day of days. My new found legality and my decade old promise. I know I'll never break it.
I miss you too much Brent...
That being said I've been a bit thoughtful today. Ya'know since this is the "legal age" for drinking and all. Before y'all get all "whoooo party time!" on me, I'd like to tell you guys a story.
Back before I really understood anything about life (see about 8 or 9 years old) I had an uncle. He was infact my very favorite uncle. This man wasn't really that old as far as uncles go, he was in his mid twenties when I was 9ish so he was at the age where he was still considered "cool" by us pre-teens. Atleast me.
He was perfect in almost every way. He always had great stories to share, he knew how to play all the board games, and he always made time for me when I wanted to visit. It was wonderful. The only time it wasn't fun was when he would drink... he would change into this... other person. He'd usually get quiet if we kids were around, but no matter what, if his mother was around, there was a fight. I mean... BAD fight. Yelling, cursing, and hate could be heard throughout every corner of any place they happened to be. It was unbearable. at that time, I couldn't understand why alcohol would make him that way. Alot of people in my family drink... but no one ever got that way... after a while life started to get to him. He was havin' trouble with his girlfriend at the moment, his work, his family, and any number of things you could think of.
He started to drink more and more because of it. And became more and more angry. He even started to lash out at us kids when he was drunk. He started to scare me. So, I pulled away from him. I stopped visiting... lookin' back, I think that made things worse for him, but I was just too scared to be around him. After a little while, I didn't really think about him too much anymore. He was just another relative I wasn't really close to. We'd go over to his mother's house (where he was still living at the moment) if we needed to be babysat and say our "hellos" to him, but we left him alone.
One summer we went to Honduras. We were gone the full two months. It was alot of fun... but we got a phone call about our uncle. He apparently had a very messy break up with his girlfriend and was fired in the same week... and one night... he killed himself by drinking too much.
This was my very first brush with death. This was the first time anyone in my family died that I was close too. I didn't understand. Well, I understood death, I just didn't understand the "how" or "why" of it... They explained to me that alcohol, too much of it, can poison the body. It could make you sick or even kill you which is what happened to my uncle.
I hated it. I thought it was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. We had so many D.A.R.E. programs and what the fuck ever at our Elementary school come to us and tell us how BAD drugs were and that they could kill us and that was the reason they were illegal. They told us the dangers of alcohol too, but alcohol was still LEGAL. This substance that POISONS the body was stilly LEGAL. My uncle died because of this and it was legal. I couldn't wrap my mind around it.
So... I made a promise. I made a promise that I would never in a million years drink. I would never fill my body with poison and change myself into something that I'm not. I know that not all people who drink become that sort of person. I still have alot of family that drinks and alot of friends that do too and they're fine. I'm not sayin' they shouldn't drink. I'm just sayin' I never will.
So yea, I've been thinkin' about all of this on this day of days. My new found legality and my decade old promise. I know I'll never break it.
I miss you too much Brent...