(no subject)
I haven't updated in awhile. I never know where to begin. A lot of things have changed, right now I'm not sure if they are for the best or the worst. I am happy it is a new year and I believe it is time for changes. I have to admit I feel sick, couldn't sleep, but at the same time I feel as though a weight has been lifted. Yes, that probably sounds shitty, but it's how I feel. I know exactly how I feel yet it is so hard to explain. Hopefully, you find someone who treats you good and doesn't waste your time/jerk you around. I never knew I was that bad of a person. I know how I feel/have felt about you for longer than you have even known, yet you still believe I never cared. That is one thing that bugs me, I must not have shown you how I felt or made things completely clear. It disgusts me to think that you believe I "used you", if you honestly believe that, all I can say is after all this time you don't even know me. I would love nothing more than to write everything I am feeling/have felt over this time, only b/c things come out more clearly when I write them. However, it would take me hours of writing. I'm sorry for everything and I'm sorry that you don't even know how much I cared. I had thought about things for awhile and yeah I know I picked a shitty time to say what was on my mind, but is there ever a good time to say things like that? All i can say is, i wish you the best.