Frustration Comes with Passion
Do you have those days wherein you thought everything was going for you and then everything ends on a very stressful, emotional note?
Last night, after another blowout loss in the IAC (Intramural Athletic Council) Men's Basketball tournament at the covered courts in Ateneo, I tried to vent out my frustrations, but sadly I couldn't because of how tired I was. I played the whole 9 yards during the game without any rest and with very little contributions stat-wise. Finally succumbing to the fatigue, I could barely raise my legs and walk or feel the right side of my abdominal cavity >.<. I didn't sleep very well last night with only 5 hours of shut-eye stored because of a yet-again crammed paper. Knowing that I was such a knuckle head for not getting enough sleep (I watched the ADMU-DLSU match, so I did not pay attention to the task), I grudgingly sat down in my org mate's car as we drove out of campus.
He and our org mate who was riding with us suddenly talked about the goings-on with the group (ACLC- I can't seem to stop writing about my lovable org) and the various colorful personalities we share a community with. They got to a point where things got too private, so of course, I won't divulge info here. What I will show is that, when we got to a point wherein we were talking of attendance of people in various activities, one of my session mate's names came up. I defended her by saying that she was taking up a demanding math subject and that she's busy keeping up her grades. My friends rebuked me by saying that it is not an excuse to be too busy with academics and not contribute to the org. Just looking at the Leadership Core (the officers), they said that they work their a** off to push through with activites and special gigs just for the members like us! They also explained that one of them was already failing in his subjects, yet he still gives his best effort for ACLC.
The conversations they had and the explanations they gave to my quiries still hit me until now. With the state that I'm in, I don't see myself to be active within the org. Sure, I hang out a lot with the members in the room at MVP (even more than my blockmates T___T), but that doesn't translate into org work. I haven't been attending area apostolates, which kinda sucks really, even if I've met the requirement of at least two sessions attended. If I go on with my college life in this path, with only academics, papers and scores to mind, how much longer will my social life and community work go the extra mile with me? I know that its still my freshman year and it is an adjustment period for me, but I've learned in the past that some attitudes, not necessarily bad, are hard to get out from my system.
Contemplating on quiting my organizational memberships , I realize that probably I need more time to think about it. Like I said, this is a stage where I'm adjusting to new things in college. Our retreat is coming up in a few weeks, so hopefully, this would be my lucky break and I would find inspiration that I'm severly lacking now.
I hear the rain outside. How much longer will I have to wait to walk out from this storm? :(
Notes (9/28)
I may continue or not to write here in this online journal. As my blog's a requirement for En 11 class, I grew to love blogging as an outlet for my daily life.
This may be my last entry. There are more storms to survive, yet remember that there is always sunlight in the end.
Last night, after another blowout loss in the IAC (Intramural Athletic Council) Men's Basketball tournament at the covered courts in Ateneo, I tried to vent out my frustrations, but sadly I couldn't because of how tired I was. I played the whole 9 yards during the game without any rest and with very little contributions stat-wise. Finally succumbing to the fatigue, I could barely raise my legs and walk or feel the right side of my abdominal cavity >.<. I didn't sleep very well last night with only 5 hours of shut-eye stored because of a yet-again crammed paper. Knowing that I was such a knuckle head for not getting enough sleep (I watched the ADMU-DLSU match, so I did not pay attention to the task), I grudgingly sat down in my org mate's car as we drove out of campus.
He and our org mate who was riding with us suddenly talked about the goings-on with the group (ACLC- I can't seem to stop writing about my lovable org) and the various colorful personalities we share a community with. They got to a point where things got too private, so of course, I won't divulge info here. What I will show is that, when we got to a point wherein we were talking of attendance of people in various activities, one of my session mate's names came up. I defended her by saying that she was taking up a demanding math subject and that she's busy keeping up her grades. My friends rebuked me by saying that it is not an excuse to be too busy with academics and not contribute to the org. Just looking at the Leadership Core (the officers), they said that they work their a** off to push through with activites and special gigs just for the members like us! They also explained that one of them was already failing in his subjects, yet he still gives his best effort for ACLC.
The conversations they had and the explanations they gave to my quiries still hit me until now. With the state that I'm in, I don't see myself to be active within the org. Sure, I hang out a lot with the members in the room at MVP (even more than my blockmates T___T), but that doesn't translate into org work. I haven't been attending area apostolates, which kinda sucks really, even if I've met the requirement of at least two sessions attended. If I go on with my college life in this path, with only academics, papers and scores to mind, how much longer will my social life and community work go the extra mile with me? I know that its still my freshman year and it is an adjustment period for me, but I've learned in the past that some attitudes, not necessarily bad, are hard to get out from my system.
Contemplating on quiting my organizational memberships , I realize that probably I need more time to think about it. Like I said, this is a stage where I'm adjusting to new things in college. Our retreat is coming up in a few weeks, so hopefully, this would be my lucky break and I would find inspiration that I'm severly lacking now.
I hear the rain outside. How much longer will I have to wait to walk out from this storm? :(
Notes (9/28)
I may continue or not to write here in this online journal. As my blog's a requirement for En 11 class, I grew to love blogging as an outlet for my daily life.
This may be my last entry. There are more storms to survive, yet remember that there is always sunlight in the end.