(no subject)
I'm having a hard day...It hasn't been a bad day, just hard...Seems like Chris and i are drifting apart....He's hanging out with Danny and Haven again...don't get me wrong, love em both...both are terrible influences....Chris has a son, he has more to think about than hanging out with people who drink bad, and smoke all the time.. we both had to quit because the doctor said that whether this is cancer or just an infection, smoking or just being around second hand smoke will accelerate it, and if its the indection, it could make it turn into cancer...I quit wearing the engagement ring, i have in on a necklace i keep with me, but right now i dont feel like my heart is in it....i feel like everything is more important than us...I'm beginning to feel like there is no us anymore. There is a me and there is a him...Some stranger i waited on at work today called the work phone after he left and asked my name, telling me i seemed like i needed a prayer and he wanted to pray for me....
i think everything is just getting to me.
I dont want to change chris, i just think that at 20 years old, he should be worried about getting a job that pays more than 400$ every 2 weeks...I will not put myself in a situation where i have to worry about being able to pay rent...jesus i make less than him hourly, and i make what he does in 2 weeks. without counting in tips. I need more than this...and he cant give me what i need much less what i want...He's never romantic, he just thinks saying i loev you EVERY DAMN TIME we get off the phone is romance. I need someone to tell me i look beautiful, not that i look sexy...
Jessica
i think everything is just getting to me.
I dont want to change chris, i just think that at 20 years old, he should be worried about getting a job that pays more than 400$ every 2 weeks...I will not put myself in a situation where i have to worry about being able to pay rent...jesus i make less than him hourly, and i make what he does in 2 weeks. without counting in tips. I need more than this...and he cant give me what i need much less what i want...He's never romantic, he just thinks saying i loev you EVERY DAMN TIME we get off the phone is romance. I need someone to tell me i look beautiful, not that i look sexy...
Jessica