(no subject)
I'm at my brother Robs house, and I've been drinking a bit.
I have sheated on Steve so much, and that is what I am not proud of. I don't mean I cheated on him tonight, but in the past/recent past.
It all started with this kid Bryant, last February and now it's up to this kid Matt, that I don't even dig all that much, but I still kissed him first.
To be quote honest with you the only reason why I am doing this is because of the attention. Im not used to this at all. I was always the fat chick with no boyfriend, and now that Ive lost weight all these guys are chasing me, but I have been with Steve since I was 15 and while I love him more then anyone or anything, I am also wanting to be like fuck it. I know I can get someone ekse, but will that someone make me feel like Steve does? He can pt a smile on my face in the worst of times. He can make me feel so loved, needed and wanted. But, at the same time I miss the newness. I miss unfamiliarities. I miss not know every minute detail of someones life. I miss not know what he's gunna say and when hes gunna say it. I miss the buuterflies. I miss, I miss I mis, but I do the wrong things.
It started with Bryant. He was the first to take notice in me. The first to want me since Steve. We started kissing and I couldnt help it his temtation droved me insane. I just had to then I ended up givin him head. I knew he wanted to sleep with me but i wasnt ready to do that yet.
Then it was emanuel adn trhat was just 1 date in a park that I regret because we got shammered and we started making out and I ended up giving him head.
(im a mouth whore)
Then it was this kid Jay. He was gorgeous and reminded me of Steve alot, and he thought I was beautiful, so I eneded up making otu with him for like 3 hours on the boulevard, and ended up giving ihm head, and that went on for about 2 weeks.
Then it was Rey I let him jerk off to my tits and licked his dick and let him suck my nip rings and stufff and UGH I regret that...
Then it was Mike. I met Mike at MCC. He was tweaking one mornin so I decided, why the hell not the worst he can do is tell me to go away, which I kinda figured wed fizzle our friendship out, but we didnt. He started hanging with me every Tuesday & Thursday. And sending me texts and then one day he asked me if I want to "make out and stuff." an he started to be flirty, and I took the bait and ran with it because he's gorgeous too. I hung out with him 2 weeks ago and we ended up smoking, and he kissed me first and I eneded up sleeping with him, amd he was really good, but it was akward. Ive never done that before, but i did do it, and I liked it alot, and for the first week I didn't feel guilty, an I actually felt as though I should break it off with Steve. But guilt set in the seond week, and I missed Mike. I was so cnfused. I know I love steve and I DIDNT love Mike but I cant say I didnt get atttached to mike because I did. hes so sexy. ugh.
Now theres Matt and I feel bad because everybodys like "oh u have him wrapped around your finger." blah blah blah, and hes a sweet kid but i couldnt be with him.
I have sheated on Steve so much, and that is what I am not proud of. I don't mean I cheated on him tonight, but in the past/recent past.
It all started with this kid Bryant, last February and now it's up to this kid Matt, that I don't even dig all that much, but I still kissed him first.
To be quote honest with you the only reason why I am doing this is because of the attention. Im not used to this at all. I was always the fat chick with no boyfriend, and now that Ive lost weight all these guys are chasing me, but I have been with Steve since I was 15 and while I love him more then anyone or anything, I am also wanting to be like fuck it. I know I can get someone ekse, but will that someone make me feel like Steve does? He can pt a smile on my face in the worst of times. He can make me feel so loved, needed and wanted. But, at the same time I miss the newness. I miss unfamiliarities. I miss not know every minute detail of someones life. I miss not know what he's gunna say and when hes gunna say it. I miss the buuterflies. I miss, I miss I mis, but I do the wrong things.
It started with Bryant. He was the first to take notice in me. The first to want me since Steve. We started kissing and I couldnt help it his temtation droved me insane. I just had to then I ended up givin him head. I knew he wanted to sleep with me but i wasnt ready to do that yet.
Then it was emanuel adn trhat was just 1 date in a park that I regret because we got shammered and we started making out and I ended up giving him head.
(im a mouth whore)
Then it was this kid Jay. He was gorgeous and reminded me of Steve alot, and he thought I was beautiful, so I eneded up making otu with him for like 3 hours on the boulevard, and ended up giving ihm head, and that went on for about 2 weeks.
Then it was Rey I let him jerk off to my tits and licked his dick and let him suck my nip rings and stufff and UGH I regret that...
Then it was Mike. I met Mike at MCC. He was tweaking one mornin so I decided, why the hell not the worst he can do is tell me to go away, which I kinda figured wed fizzle our friendship out, but we didnt. He started hanging with me every Tuesday & Thursday. And sending me texts and then one day he asked me if I want to "make out and stuff." an he started to be flirty, and I took the bait and ran with it because he's gorgeous too. I hung out with him 2 weeks ago and we ended up smoking, and he kissed me first and I eneded up sleeping with him, amd he was really good, but it was akward. Ive never done that before, but i did do it, and I liked it alot, and for the first week I didn't feel guilty, an I actually felt as though I should break it off with Steve. But guilt set in the seond week, and I missed Mike. I was so cnfused. I know I love steve and I DIDNT love Mike but I cant say I didnt get atttached to mike because I did. hes so sexy. ugh.
Now theres Matt and I feel bad because everybodys like "oh u have him wrapped around your finger." blah blah blah, and hes a sweet kid but i couldnt be with him.