Withdrawls

[hart_shapdbox]

So, I haven't talked to Steve since Friday (it's Tuesday night), and he is coming over tomorrow to "talk." I am so scared man! I have had butterflies all day, and felt like I am going to vomit. Then this horrible thought crept into my mind. What if he says he found out he likes being single better, or worse, what if he found someone new, someone skinner, prettier and has more self confidence. I will be tottally crushed. I mean all my friends are being so great about trying to cheer me up, saying they'll kick his ass, or that it's been 2 and a half years, and he won't just drop me like that, but I dunno man. I have like literally been shaking all day an feeling like shit because I am so scared. As much of a front that I put on it is but just that, a front. I am seriously a scared little girl right now, and I honestly don't know why. I mean I really LOVE this boy, and I don't want to lose him. I know, eventually I will be fine, but I just LOVE the way he makes me feel. How he makes me laugh, and feel beautiful. I love the way he lets me be me, my goofball, nuts self. I will admit it, I love the sex too. I would miss the sex stupendously! (you know I'd really miss it I used a big word! lol)

His mom sent me a friend request on Myspace, and I won't add her out of respect for him. Even if we do break up I still won't talk to her because I know how he feels. She could answer so many questions I have, and yet I will shy away for him. I wish he could understand how much I truly love him, want him, and on a certain level, need him.

Well I will report what happens tomorrow. Cross your fingers for me, please?