vervaceous, the gold of skin
turning in the pillows, my bed feels larger than when i was small, lost in shattered hope, lost in all the old pillows, miss the smell of you on the sheets, miss the out-line of your back, miss you breathing down my neck
and now i become insecure, and i ring you on the phone, to get the answering machine, but this human touch is what i really need, i gaze in the mirror, and i am lost in memory, i recall the eyes, but the face has seen so many failures
and i try your phone again, this distance is not what i need
as i think that they are all out to get me, once again this moment is torn by the winds as the shadows of seagulls cross my sweating brow
on the beach of your arrival i think i see a sign
the ships laced in gold, the colours lead me on, the docks are covered in barnacles, the sand is littered with used condoms and cigarette butts
the party of your life never seemed so empty as i walk down the sands traced with the paths of one night lovers
and i ask 'please do not say that there is nothing between us'
as i know pressure pauses a release and i can never have what i wanted
my image is not myself, the mirror cast a reflection that scars the heart and marrs the surface of what i am able to feel
/and she said today 'if you gave me the chance i can make you feel again, but i know your gentle persuasion'
my face red, my face flushed, i turned away
and julien where are you now when i need the guidence
where are you when i am at the bottom
when i am living the dream that i spoke of/
but when this bed is sour and i cannot sleep, i try your phone again, message not received, message recorded, voice taken
and then no contact, i feel the paranoria set in as i think that someone has it in for me, what a state i am in with my self-pity
i play the victim, if only i could be the star player, the winner of the game
but they hide in corners of the dirty streets where i never wanted you to venture
the music is loud and the adultery is ripe when, with no accord i call out in the silence to nothing and to no one
here is the victim party of one, as i watch this all fall way
i never would have trusted, i never would have lived and loved if i had to be born again
but the no was never a word i spoke with you, set the bullets to fire, random, at will, as i cry that i want it to be the two of us
i see sparks as my vision starts to cloud and my stomach i want to rip out, this nervousness, this anxiety, i need you to come back now
as i am calling card for card and the queen is almost at the mark
the squares are black and white, i move to red
and now i become insecure, and i ring you on the phone, to get the answering machine, but this human touch is what i really need, i gaze in the mirror, and i am lost in memory, i recall the eyes, but the face has seen so many failures
and i try your phone again, this distance is not what i need
as i think that they are all out to get me, once again this moment is torn by the winds as the shadows of seagulls cross my sweating brow
on the beach of your arrival i think i see a sign
the ships laced in gold, the colours lead me on, the docks are covered in barnacles, the sand is littered with used condoms and cigarette butts
the party of your life never seemed so empty as i walk down the sands traced with the paths of one night lovers
and i ask 'please do not say that there is nothing between us'
as i know pressure pauses a release and i can never have what i wanted
my image is not myself, the mirror cast a reflection that scars the heart and marrs the surface of what i am able to feel
/and she said today 'if you gave me the chance i can make you feel again, but i know your gentle persuasion'
my face red, my face flushed, i turned away
and julien where are you now when i need the guidence
where are you when i am at the bottom
when i am living the dream that i spoke of/
but when this bed is sour and i cannot sleep, i try your phone again, message not received, message recorded, voice taken
and then no contact, i feel the paranoria set in as i think that someone has it in for me, what a state i am in with my self-pity
i play the victim, if only i could be the star player, the winner of the game
but they hide in corners of the dirty streets where i never wanted you to venture
the music is loud and the adultery is ripe when, with no accord i call out in the silence to nothing and to no one
here is the victim party of one, as i watch this all fall way
i never would have trusted, i never would have lived and loved if i had to be born again
but the no was never a word i spoke with you, set the bullets to fire, random, at will, as i cry that i want it to be the two of us
i see sparks as my vision starts to cloud and my stomach i want to rip out, this nervousness, this anxiety, i need you to come back now
as i am calling card for card and the queen is almost at the mark
the squares are black and white, i move to red