once again, how long has it been since ive felt this way?
Why do guys not listen, Why do guys not pay attention, Why do guys ignore you, why do they tell you one thing but mean or say or do another. Why is it, that you would drop the world and more just because they need you. why is 2 mins so hard to give. why must i have an excuse for needing a guy. why must they only say sorry when you ask them, why is it that they hate when you call to tell them you love them after an hour after you saw them, but when he does it i dont get mad, why are most guys hyprocrites. why do they blame us for blaming them. why do they tell us its out fault for being hurt. why must we girls start every conversation. why must i drop everything and he gives me nothing but talks to other people. why is it that most guys are selfish. why is it that you have the best day ever, and its ruined because my heart got crushed and he cant recover it until he's ready, and i have to wait. why is it that i have to be so impatient but when it comes to him he cant wait a min. why do guys not answer your questions, or say there listening but they cant repeat what you just said even if you dont ask word for word. or why is it you tell them exactly why your mad and than 5 mins later they dont understand why your mad. or why do they not understand your calling for a reason, and not just because. do they not understand that if you calming stop hurting me and talk to me the fight will be over with, but no they have to be jerks and hurt you even more. why must when you get mad you calmy try to talk it out, but the boy hangs up and yells at you when you call back the first time. why dont they understand that you cant sleep adn you wont be able to til this is finished and yet they dont care because they rather get sleep than talk this out for a few. and how about you cry for a while on the phone and they just go and luagh with somone else when your heart broken. why is it that guys dont believe girls can be broken just because there boyfriend dis-respected him. or im talking and thye say there listening but there talking to someone else in the background and than they dont really listen and they yell at you when you sit in silence. so yeah why is it that they can sit in silence but you cant like its agains the law.
why does every guy if been with hurt me or even every guy i know in some way of a personaly level hurt me. gay or not. do i have a sign on me that says easy hurt when yelled at easly hurt when ignored. do i have a sigh thats says, i will cry when im broken and ill forgive you the next day so its okay to do it. NO I DONT.
What is wrong with me, the fact that every relationship that i have i get hurt sooner or later. why is it that trust and communication is a key reason why we fight just for the ones i date, but my guys friends open up to me like no other. how is it that your dating your best friend and when you guys were friends he would talk on the phone for hours un end because he was hurt and i would say two words and they rest were for him to talk. but now that your dating you cant even get why are you mad or why are you acting like this, because apparently he cant talk to you. why is it that you give benifits of the doubt and give me a reason and i will understand and shut up. or why is that they inrupt you but when they talk you dont, and they dont repsect you for that. why do you give them money and surprises and food and love and they cant give back 2 mins.
WHY DO THEY NOT UNDERSTAND that you dont feel safe in your house, and the only way to calm down is to hear there voice because it will calm you down in the loudest storm tornado and all. but no, i cant feel safe and the two main guys in my life have to hurt me almost everyday now.
WHY DO I HAVE GIVE IN AND ADJUST but then they say well i dont want you to adjust because than you dont like me for me so just goodbye. but than they tell you that they love you and they dont wanna break up with you no matter what. does that make sense.
GOSH DARNIT. yeah im hurt. can you tell? my best friend broke me today, and although we still love each other tension is amoung us. even when you say lets solve this now because god forbid knock on wood if you died on your way home, they last thing i will remember about is that we fought and you yelled at me and called me a bitch.
your supposed to protect me and hold me and tell me everything will be alrite and that your there, and your supposed to tell me to calm down, because if you dont who can, no one. i cant im not strong enough to tell myself that everything will be alrite and you know that, you were there for me through my last break up, and yet you seem to still do the same.
I'm sure many girls can back me up with this, because i have helped my friends through these before, and yet who can help me, when shut out all my friends for him, and yet i cant even run to him when im scared because its him time.
Yeah he may say im stupid for all of this, but i know the friends i have left will understand and tell me i have the right to be mad. he'll tell me im going way to far with this and over the hedge, but im not and i will be backd up i know that.
so what do i have to do to make him understand? threating is deff not the answer, but what is there. i dont wanna hurt him like he hurt me, so guess once again i have use my own patience and wait for him to call me back. great he won once again, if you can call it winning of a game. to me it seems like he won another fight.
I looked for happiness for 17 years and i had it for a little while with someone else. but when i got Matt, i was more happpier if that was a word than i thought i was. but now im back to were i was. hurt, broken, dealing with this pain alone, forgetten, not apperciated, not respected and not cared about and im expected to deal with this all by myself and yet still put a smile on my face, I'm not god, and i cant do it.
Love it really is a cliche battlefield. and your heart really can fit in a blender.