(no subject)
so its been a month and a week since me and dan broke up, and the time is going by real fast it feels like we have been broken up for like 2 weeks. but im hurt everyday still. I cry everyday still, yeah im getting better but at some things worse...i understand the just friends thing, and im okay with that in general, yeah i want way more.
Our one year consisted of him coming home from toronto, and going to church then going to see matt at st. mary's hospitol because he's stupid. but it would of been a great day if me and dan were still together.
I have changed so much for dan, and also me, because i really cant change something unless i really want to. i just want him to see this. i show him but he does'nt seem to care.
The worst thing. His little sister. chelsea she's eight. she means so much to me, and still does i used to see her everyday almost, and i would ask her how her day was, how was school the other day, how was your weekend, but nows its. dan hows chelsea hows alex. the last wednsday was a half day and i hung out with daniel. we went to his mom house and chelsea and alex where there. chelsea said i thought you and dan broke up, and i was like yeah we did, but were still friends, and she goes i missed you. i wanted to break down and cry, but some how i stuck it through. we went to mcdonalds and she sat across from me, she was so happy that her and i both got 3 piece chicken strips meal. and with coke. we hung out in the basement, and she kept hugging me. okay i miss her too. uhh. but on the way to drop me off at practice and dan at work. she had this teddy bear that said i wish maggie and danny were back together and that was on there when she brought it out. she started crying when i wrote on that doodle bear. chelsea your a amazing young girl, remember that. i held in my tears but as soon as i got out of that car and walked into the school. i cried for like 20 mins, even at practice. And the other night my phone rang and i thought it was dan since it said dan calling, but it was chelsea saying goodnight and she missed me. ohh did i try to not cry,but i did, and i made sure she did'nt know. i cried to dan on the phone that night telling him, chelsea being upset is'nt up to me, its you this is on your hands. Man do i miss them both, cept i miss dan more.
Dans family. i dont really have one, and Dans welcomed me right in. First time i meet his dad he was cleaning and dan said he was gay and i was like wHHAT. and i believe that because his rents are devoriced. and another i believe is that dan was adopted. lol . it was soo funny. we just watched his one year old b-day party, and i mean yeah he could be adopted at like 2months but still, him and his dad look alittle alike in most ways. but i did'nt believe him at first then his dad was like yeah he is. i will never forget that blonde moment. well dans mom did'nt like me at first, and did'nt like me was a understantment, till dan told her that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me, adn they cant control that. dan and i fought so much for this love. its said now.
Country. well i love it now. and its said
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:18 PM): yeah
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:35 PM): im into country now
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:44 PM): its heart broken music i guess
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:52 PM): i hated country
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:58 PM): like 2 months ago
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:07:02 PM): but country is so random
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:07:11 PM): country is set to one on my radio
lilboardindiva16 (1:08:44 PM): wow girl...i better get hurrying coming home
lilboardindiva16 (1:08:59 PM): you're in bad shape eh?
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:09:49 PM): lol
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:09:50 PM): i guess
specking of katie. I miss her, adn its so hard talking about this to her on the phone sometimes, letters myspace and aim. I miss her, and wait did i say i miss her. she comes home in about 35 days. :-D i cant wait.
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (12:56:30 PM): expect your shoulder to be soggy when you get home and whenever i see you
lilboardindiva16 (12:56:43 PM): im ready for that
:( life is just so hard. im sick of it, but i can hold on.... cant I?
and yet i still love him, and would give anything to be with him right now.
Our one year consisted of him coming home from toronto, and going to church then going to see matt at st. mary's hospitol because he's stupid. but it would of been a great day if me and dan were still together.
I have changed so much for dan, and also me, because i really cant change something unless i really want to. i just want him to see this. i show him but he does'nt seem to care.
The worst thing. His little sister. chelsea she's eight. she means so much to me, and still does i used to see her everyday almost, and i would ask her how her day was, how was school the other day, how was your weekend, but nows its. dan hows chelsea hows alex. the last wednsday was a half day and i hung out with daniel. we went to his mom house and chelsea and alex where there. chelsea said i thought you and dan broke up, and i was like yeah we did, but were still friends, and she goes i missed you. i wanted to break down and cry, but some how i stuck it through. we went to mcdonalds and she sat across from me, she was so happy that her and i both got 3 piece chicken strips meal. and with coke. we hung out in the basement, and she kept hugging me. okay i miss her too. uhh. but on the way to drop me off at practice and dan at work. she had this teddy bear that said i wish maggie and danny were back together and that was on there when she brought it out. she started crying when i wrote on that doodle bear. chelsea your a amazing young girl, remember that. i held in my tears but as soon as i got out of that car and walked into the school. i cried for like 20 mins, even at practice. And the other night my phone rang and i thought it was dan since it said dan calling, but it was chelsea saying goodnight and she missed me. ohh did i try to not cry,but i did, and i made sure she did'nt know. i cried to dan on the phone that night telling him, chelsea being upset is'nt up to me, its you this is on your hands. Man do i miss them both, cept i miss dan more.
Dans family. i dont really have one, and Dans welcomed me right in. First time i meet his dad he was cleaning and dan said he was gay and i was like wHHAT. and i believe that because his rents are devoriced. and another i believe is that dan was adopted. lol . it was soo funny. we just watched his one year old b-day party, and i mean yeah he could be adopted at like 2months but still, him and his dad look alittle alike in most ways. but i did'nt believe him at first then his dad was like yeah he is. i will never forget that blonde moment. well dans mom did'nt like me at first, and did'nt like me was a understantment, till dan told her that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me, adn they cant control that. dan and i fought so much for this love. its said now.
Country. well i love it now. and its said
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:18 PM): yeah
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:35 PM): im into country now
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:44 PM): its heart broken music i guess
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:52 PM): i hated country
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:06:58 PM): like 2 months ago
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:07:02 PM): but country is so random
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:07:11 PM): country is set to one on my radio
lilboardindiva16 (1:08:44 PM): wow girl...i better get hurrying coming home
lilboardindiva16 (1:08:59 PM): you're in bad shape eh?
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:09:49 PM): lol
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (1:09:50 PM): i guess
specking of katie. I miss her, adn its so hard talking about this to her on the phone sometimes, letters myspace and aim. I miss her, and wait did i say i miss her. she comes home in about 35 days. :-D i cant wait.
xthisLIFEweHOLDx (12:56:30 PM): expect your shoulder to be soggy when you get home and whenever i see you
lilboardindiva16 (12:56:43 PM): im ready for that
:( life is just so hard. im sick of it, but i can hold on.... cant I?
and yet i still love him, and would give anything to be with him right now.