Somedays aren't yours at all...
I wrote this over the course of about two hours. Credit goes to coffeejunkii for helping me break through my writer's block with her prompts!
Title: Somedays
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: They've got one. Do they want more?
Warnings: Implied Mpreg
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. EWE. Title was partially inspired by a Regina Spektor song, long may she reign.
Someday
“Draco, we need to talk.”
Harry’s voice came from the doorway, and Draco rolled his eyes, struggling to calm a fussy Julius, who had been alternating between whimpering and outright screaming for the past hour.
“Can it wait? I’ve nearly got him settled down,” Draco tossed over his shoulder.
He stepped up his shushing and slowed the rocking motion that Julius seemed to like, thanking every god in existence when he saw his son’s grey eyes finally beginning to close.
After a minute, the baby’s deep breathing confirmed that he was indeed asleep. Draco lowered him into his crib as carefully as if he was made of glass, stepped back from the crib, and sighed in relief. He turned back to Harry with a smile.
“Now, what did you want to talk about?” he said conversationally, his smile fading a little when he registered the expression on Harry’s face. He’d only seen this look a few times before, and none of them had been pleasant.
“Let’s go to our room. I don’t want to wake Julius.” Harry replied, avoiding Draco’s eyes and starting down the hall. Draco followed, mulling over the possible scenarios which would warrant this kind of behavior from Harry.
Had something happened to Weasley or Granger? They weren’t the closest of friends even after all this time, but the idea of their coming to harm didn’t thrill him nearly as much as it had back in his school days. He had grown up to be halfway decent after all.
“Is it your friends?” Draco asked when they reached the bedroom, and Harry sat down heavily on the bed, knotting his hands together and still not meeting Draco’s eyes.
“Did something happen?” Another thought occurred to him, which sent a chill of true dread through him. “Is it Mother?”
Harry blinked up at Draco, as if he’d forgotten where he was. “What? Oh, no, your mum’s fine. So are Hermione and Ron. It’s…it’s not about them.”
Draco was worried, and it was a feeling he hated. “Then what is it, Potter?” he demanded, reverting to his old habit of using Harry’s surname as he always did in moments of stress. “Five words or less before I hex it out of you.”
Harry flinched. “I might be pregnant.”
Draco froze. His mouth went dry as the words sank in. One word in particular.
“What…you…how…” he choked, trying to form a complete sentence. “How did this…”
“I think you already know how,” Harry replied in a hollow voice. “The same way we got Julius.”
“But that was-Merlin, Potter, that was only a bloody year ago!” Draco’s voice rose in spite of himself. He knew he should try to stay calm, if not for Harry’s sake than for Julius, who would surely wake again if things got too loud.
“We agreed to wait at least three years in between children. We took potions to make sure nothing went wrong! How could you have been so careless?”
“Because I didn’t think it could happen to me!” Harry said, his own tone just as vehement. “You were the one who went through it the first time. You were taking the potions, too. I just assumed-”
“Well, you know what happens when you assume,” Draco interrupted, fists clenching as he pictured the chaos that would follow in the wake of two children under two.
They’d get no sleep at all. The house would never be tidy again. The crying would last for hours, and the thought of having to change even more nappies every day was enough to make Draco want to cry himself.
“God, this is going to be a nightmare,” he muttered. Harry heard him, and Draco swore when he saw the hurt in those eyes.
“Potter, I didn’t mean-” Draco raked a hand through his hair in frustration. He seized on something. “Look, are you absolutely sure you’re-?”
Harry paused. “Well…not entirely, no. I mean, I’ve been light-headed and nauseated for the past few days, and that’s how you felt when you were pregnant with Julius. But I’ve got an appointment at St.Mungo’s tomorrow just to be sure. It might be the flu.”
Draco was surprised at how hopeful he felt upon hearing this. “Oh. Yeah, that could be it. That wouldn’t be-” He bit his lip before the words so bad escaped. He’d made his opinion clear enough already.
“Let’s call it an early night,” Harry said shortly. “I’m tired.”
Draco nodded, not knowing what else to say.
When they were in bed and the lights had been Noxed, Harry remained on his side of the bed and made no move to give Draco his customary good-night kiss. Draco couldn’t blame him in this case.
He turned their conversation over in his head, alternately placing the blame on Harry and then himself. They should have been more careful. Potter shouldn’t have forgotten the potions the last time they had a chance for a shag.
Then again, with the amount of time caring for Julius took up, it was no wonder they’d been desperate. If Harry really was…then there was a good chance their sex life would be nonexistent until both their children were off at Hogwarts.
Draco frowned into his pillow. He wasn’t overly fond of children and he never had been, but he loved his son more than life itself.
Why, then, was he so reluctant to entertain the idea of another child? Was it possible that he wouldn’t love a second child as much as he loved Julius? Just because the timing had been off?
In his heart of hearts, he knew he wouldn’t be so petty towards any child of his.
But he also knew he wasn’t ready to deal with another baby right now. Julius was wonderful, but he could be very difficult.
He seemed to have inherited Draco’s temper and Harry’s stubbornness. It was a combination that tested every bit of patience Draco possessed much of the time.
He heard Harry’s breathing even out and deepen, and he knew he was the last one awake in the house. It looked like it was going to stay that way for a while.
***
The next day, Draco was awake when Harry left for his appointment, having been roused by Julius’ crying at the usual ungodly hour of the morning.
They had exchanged the slightest of nods before Harry left, and Draco knew that this issue was by no means resolved. He felt like the world’s biggest arse for his behavior the night before. He’d acted as though it was all Harry’s fault, like he had deliberately tried to make their lives even more difficult by tempting fate.
He’d been involved, too, hadn’t he? He’d never seriously entertained the idea that Harry could get pregnant too.
He smiled bitterly to himself as he fed Julius his breakfast. If you thought about it romantically, it would seem like yet another reason they were perfect for each other.
Two hours later, Harry returned home via Floo. Draco looked up from the couch where he was reading a book to Julius, who was contentedly gnawing on the ear of his stuffed dragon. If Draco hadn’t had Julius in his lap, he would have sprung up and seized Harry by the shoulders.
“Well?” was all he could say. Harry looked at him with some sadness, which made his stomach lurch.
“False alarm,” Harry said with a shrug that was meant to look casual. “Apparently I had a bad reaction to the new contraceptive potion. Nothing serious.”
Draco thought he’d feel overwhelming relief, but it didn’t come. Instead, he felt even worse than before. The idea of a second child had been nothing more than hypothetical, and he’d still acted like a complete pillock.
“Harry,” he said softly. “I’m sorry.”
Harry sat down next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, hugging him close. With his other hand, he tousled Julius’ blond hair affectionately. The baby smiled at him around the dragon’s ear.
“I know why you reacted the way you did,” Harry said, no accusation in his voice. “I wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of having another kid so soon after Julius, either. I know how much of a toll it takes on you.”
Draco nodded, glad he understood, but suspecting there was more to come.
“I just have to know, do you really want more kids? Someday, I mean? We don’t have to have more if you don’t want to.” Harry’s eyes bored into his, and Draco saw uncertainty there that he wished he hadn't caused.
“I do,” he said with complete honesty. “Just not right now.”
He bounced Julius slightly on his knee, and Julius giggled. “Although, we seem capable of producing very attractive children. It’d be a shame to let such good genes go to waste.”
Harry laughed. “Would you feel the same if the next kid had my hair? You always say it’s criminally unmanageable.”
Draco smirked. “I trust the Malfoy genes to tame even the worst Potter bad-hair genes.”
Harry leaned in and kissed him. “I love you. And I’m sorry, too. For being careless, I mean. I never wanted to give us a scare like this.”
Draco tucked Julius more securely against him with one hand, and curled the other around the back of Harry’s neck.
“I’m just as much at fault. This little terror runs us ragged, and we took advantage of the first opportunity to be alone together. We didn’t think.”
“Funny, that’s almost exactly how this one came to be,” Harry remarked, pointing to Julius and letting the baby grab his finger.
“So, we’re agreed, then? Another little terror, someday?”
Harry stared at Julius. “Yeah. Someday.”
The End