Feckin' Swedes!
There has been a buzz going around Adelaide, the sense that something big has arrived that its going to change all our lives...yes IKEA has finally opened some humongous store and its sent the City of Churches folk just a little bananas.
For some reason my good friend Penny and I decided to check out this Swedish furniture emporium that has been advertised and hyped just a little more than Big Brother...
....big mistake...
The car parks were overflowing, temporarily full signs were erected and we were guided into the throng of careless pedestrians by a phalanx of car park attendants. After successfully parking we headed toward the entrance which was being queued at like some exclusive nightclub except there was a clown putting on a bad Swedish accent and greeting people.
Inside you get a notepad, pencil and bag thrust on you and there's racks of catalogues but they're only for "loan".
We were hearded upstairs, caught in the crowded crush and soon started walking around the showroom. The stuff was ok, nothing spectacular and all have silly Swedish names. It was too busy to actually stop and look and for fear of being trampled you just keep walking.
The claustrophobia started when we headed downstairs and tried to find the exit. We followed the signs implicitly and yet, kept going around in circles. Oh there were exit signs everywhere, and exits but they were all 'fire exits'. So y'know go to IKEA and you won't die in a fire but you may die of starvation because you can't actually escape.
After about an hour and after I scared some grannies by announcing, "if we don't find a fucking exit soon I'm going to kick someones head in!" we found the check out area and slipped that tiny bit closer to the door.
Ah but wait, they guide you away from the nearest door with a pedestrian crossing and out through another straight into on coming traffic!
So yes, thankyou Sweden for your shitty over hyped furniture store with lack of signage and the intense frustration that is still cursing through my veins. May your country be ravaged by black death and all IKEA stores be attacked in some pseudo terrorist attack against self assembly furniture and ABBA.
For some reason my good friend Penny and I decided to check out this Swedish furniture emporium that has been advertised and hyped just a little more than Big Brother...
....big mistake...
The car parks were overflowing, temporarily full signs were erected and we were guided into the throng of careless pedestrians by a phalanx of car park attendants. After successfully parking we headed toward the entrance which was being queued at like some exclusive nightclub except there was a clown putting on a bad Swedish accent and greeting people.
Inside you get a notepad, pencil and bag thrust on you and there's racks of catalogues but they're only for "loan".
We were hearded upstairs, caught in the crowded crush and soon started walking around the showroom. The stuff was ok, nothing spectacular and all have silly Swedish names. It was too busy to actually stop and look and for fear of being trampled you just keep walking.
The claustrophobia started when we headed downstairs and tried to find the exit. We followed the signs implicitly and yet, kept going around in circles. Oh there were exit signs everywhere, and exits but they were all 'fire exits'. So y'know go to IKEA and you won't die in a fire but you may die of starvation because you can't actually escape.
After about an hour and after I scared some grannies by announcing, "if we don't find a fucking exit soon I'm going to kick someones head in!" we found the check out area and slipped that tiny bit closer to the door.
Ah but wait, they guide you away from the nearest door with a pedestrian crossing and out through another straight into on coming traffic!
So yes, thankyou Sweden for your shitty over hyped furniture store with lack of signage and the intense frustration that is still cursing through my veins. May your country be ravaged by black death and all IKEA stores be attacked in some pseudo terrorist attack against self assembly furniture and ABBA.