Alarmist Party: Monster Edition
This Party Post is for complaining, griping, and worrying about the mass extinction of monsters. Yes, if challenged, I have three "silver linings" to this phenomenon. Yes, I am fully ready to hear it if "No, Harp, see, Isaac Marion wrote a comedy/actually does it right/wrote something good so give it a chance/be lol-trollin" and even abandon my initial misgivings or give him a chance to see if I like him/it's funny on purpose/he be lol-trollin" or another unforseen... thing.
Later. Let's get our rage on now. The subject is the wrecking of monsters.
We got Smeyer putting a big fluffy bow on vampires and werewolves. No, I don't care if vampires have long since been romanticized; those people didn't literally remove every single thing that's remotely associated with "vampire" and do it on a Hiroshima-sized scale. I mean seriously, it's gotten to the point where even when reasonable people discuss vampires, someone has to evoke the protection shield "but not those vampires".
Then we've got stuff like Beastly, Red Riding Hood, The Vampire Diaries, and more books featuring once delightfully fearful humanoid monsters stripped of their weaknesses and poured into boy band bodies. It's getting very difficult to notice now that they're doing it to Slender Man (admittedly, I don't think it's meant to be good, and also, I personally don't care about Slender Man).
But honestly? They've crossed a line this time. Zombies? No. That's pushing it. That's dirty pool. The fact that Smeyer is "endorsing it", well! So many jokes, don't know which one to pick.
Ok, here's the part where I start breathing fire.
1. Why the flip is it always monster male/hoo-min female? I know the obvious answers, and they make-a me sick. I'm not rolling my eyes. What's happening is that my mouth is in a very tight rage-frown and all the vomit has backed up and my eyeballs are floating around in it.
My kingdom for a Vampire!Female/Hoo-min male story, please. The last female supernatural/male mortal story I got was Ariel from the little mermaid. ... Annnnd I'm just realizing that once again, in the end, she ended up turning into what he was. ... In Thumbelina (Don Bluth's) too. Damn.. now I'm all sad again.
2. (Re-posted from a rant on ONTDCreepy) All of this recent defamation is dumbing down monsters (not just them but the fear, the consequence, the moral and ethical questions, the mythos, the defenses against them) for an oversexed, idiotic society of pre-teen twits more interested in coupling than thought-provoking discussion, real substance, and terror.
3. Call me every synonym for tin-hatter that you want (I mean that, seriously, please; because I want so badly for someone to tell me to stop freaking out; please wake me up) but this whole new gentle luvver-monster fad is the new "prince charming" tale to tell women and girls "look, here is the perfect man. Strive for him and he will be yours". It's sexism that's ok. Seriously think about it for a second- these monsters have no weaknesses anymore. It's always a human female. The only bit of "monster" retained in them gives them just a bit of the physical upper hand on the female.
And now, don't blink or you'll miss it. Never before seen in nature: Harp is about to pay a compliment to Ron/Hermione.
At least with Ron and Hermione, they're both wizards, and when it comes to magic, she could kick his ass before he could so much as reach for his wand. ... Not that she would; they're very good friends and her wife Luna (or Lavender) agreed to be surrogate for his and Draco's baby.
I'm gritting my teeth, and I think it's only partially from the cold. Let us end on two positive notes.
Some Beautiful Minds on W.C, high on Badfic, fell asleep and together dreamed a dream of a beautiful sitcom sort of like The Brady Bunch if the dad was a former librarian at Miskatonic, the mom was an ex cultist, and instead of being from a previous marriage,her kids are from ritualistic cult breeding with starspawn.
This is their chatter
Positive Note B:
As I promised Wolfe- Proof that Twatlight didn't kill the Harry Potter series, but actually revived it for a short while. This was a beautiful night, November 2008. The Harry Potter fans of Livejournal put their differences aside and rose up together, united against a common enemy. Do you understand how epic that is? Livejournal, one of the most violent, cruel, bloody Western Fronts of the Harry Potter Civil Fandom Wars (aside from Fictionally and JournalFen). And on ONTD, the site where What/Who You Like Sucks. That's one of my favorite memories of the Harry Potter Fandom.
Remember the comparison of the fandoms to family homes? My icon is a polaroid taken at the state fair when the H.P family royally kicked the Twilight family's arses at tug of war. Then we pantsed them, painted their kids in the Hogwarts house colors, tagged their campsite, and set their car on fire. And we did it as a family. Harry Potter Fandom, we will always have Super Troll Sunday.
I'm tired; if I needa fix my tags, I'll do it later on; also I still need-a read your comments from last post. Very sorry; got some super unhappy news Tuesday is all.
Later. Let's get our rage on now. The subject is the wrecking of monsters.
We got Smeyer putting a big fluffy bow on vampires and werewolves. No, I don't care if vampires have long since been romanticized; those people didn't literally remove every single thing that's remotely associated with "vampire" and do it on a Hiroshima-sized scale. I mean seriously, it's gotten to the point where even when reasonable people discuss vampires, someone has to evoke the protection shield "but not those vampires".
Then we've got stuff like Beastly, Red Riding Hood, The Vampire Diaries, and more books featuring once delightfully fearful humanoid monsters stripped of their weaknesses and poured into boy band bodies. It's getting very difficult to notice now that they're doing it to Slender Man (admittedly, I don't think it's meant to be good, and also, I personally don't care about Slender Man).
But honestly? They've crossed a line this time. Zombies? No. That's pushing it. That's dirty pool. The fact that Smeyer is "endorsing it", well! So many jokes, don't know which one to pick.
Ok, here's the part where I start breathing fire.
1. Why the flip is it always monster male/hoo-min female? I know the obvious answers, and they make-a me sick. I'm not rolling my eyes. What's happening is that my mouth is in a very tight rage-frown and all the vomit has backed up and my eyeballs are floating around in it.
My kingdom for a Vampire!Female/Hoo-min male story, please. The last female supernatural/male mortal story I got was Ariel from the little mermaid. ... Annnnd I'm just realizing that once again, in the end, she ended up turning into what he was. ... In Thumbelina (Don Bluth's) too. Damn.. now I'm all sad again.
2. (Re-posted from a rant on ONTDCreepy) All of this recent defamation is dumbing down monsters (not just them but the fear, the consequence, the moral and ethical questions, the mythos, the defenses against them) for an oversexed, idiotic society of pre-teen twits more interested in coupling than thought-provoking discussion, real substance, and terror.
3. Call me every synonym for tin-hatter that you want (I mean that, seriously, please; because I want so badly for someone to tell me to stop freaking out; please wake me up) but this whole new gentle luvver-monster fad is the new "prince charming" tale to tell women and girls "look, here is the perfect man. Strive for him and he will be yours". It's sexism that's ok. Seriously think about it for a second- these monsters have no weaknesses anymore. It's always a human female. The only bit of "monster" retained in them gives them just a bit of the physical upper hand on the female.
And now, don't blink or you'll miss it. Never before seen in nature: Harp is about to pay a compliment to Ron/Hermione.
At least with Ron and Hermione, they're both wizards, and when it comes to magic, she could kick his ass before he could so much as reach for his wand. ... Not that she would; they're very good friends and her wife Luna (or Lavender) agreed to be surrogate for his and Draco's baby.
I'm gritting my teeth, and I think it's only partially from the cold. Let us end on two positive notes.
Some Beautiful Minds on W.C, high on Badfic, fell asleep and together dreamed a dream of a beautiful sitcom sort of like The Brady Bunch if the dad was a former librarian at Miskatonic, the mom was an ex cultist, and instead of being from a previous marriage,her kids are from ritualistic cult breeding with starspawn.
This is their chatter
Positive Note B:
As I promised Wolfe- Proof that Twatlight didn't kill the Harry Potter series, but actually revived it for a short while. This was a beautiful night, November 2008. The Harry Potter fans of Livejournal put their differences aside and rose up together, united against a common enemy. Do you understand how epic that is? Livejournal, one of the most violent, cruel, bloody Western Fronts of the Harry Potter Civil Fandom Wars (aside from Fictionally and JournalFen). And on ONTD, the site where What/Who You Like Sucks. That's one of my favorite memories of the Harry Potter Fandom.
Remember the comparison of the fandoms to family homes? My icon is a polaroid taken at the state fair when the H.P family royally kicked the Twilight family's arses at tug of war. Then we pantsed them, painted their kids in the Hogwarts house colors, tagged their campsite, and set their car on fire. And we did it as a family. Harry Potter Fandom, we will always have Super Troll Sunday.
I'm tired; if I needa fix my tags, I'll do it later on; also I still need-a read your comments from last post. Very sorry; got some super unhappy news Tuesday is all.