uh, yeah, im fine, thanks for asking
well, i cut today... so much for not cutting. actually i made like 30 teeny-tiny cuts on my wrist and it just like its rubbed really raw, which is what i told my parents. i did it at drivers ed, and i wrote 'HELP' on the wall in blood. i washed it off later, but someone saw. jasmin. gotta watch her, hopefully she didn't say anything. and i have a pretty deep cut on my stomach, and my parents don't know i have knives, i've been calling everything 'scratches' but this is pretty clearly not a scratch. hopefully i won't get checked for a while.
why did i do this, you may ask? because i'm remembering more and more shit about being molested. and i had to talk about it today, and it sucked. i hate therapy, it makes me so depressed.... at least i have someone to talk to tho, i feel bad telling nathan (cuz of his depression and i dont want him to worry about me) and i have no other friends i can tell.
anyway, i'm not telling you any more about the molestation itself... i'll pretend it's because i want to spare you the perversity and horribleness of the whole thing, but mostly it's that if i talk about it again, im going to be miserable for the rest of tonight. and probably cut again, but i might do that anyway.
and i ate a ton today! ice cream for the 2nd day in a row, a teeny tiny taco, and a sourdough burger thing. and a chicken sandwich. i'm so fat. whatever. maybe i'll gross out any future molesters. i hate myself.
why did i do this, you may ask? because i'm remembering more and more shit about being molested. and i had to talk about it today, and it sucked. i hate therapy, it makes me so depressed.... at least i have someone to talk to tho, i feel bad telling nathan (cuz of his depression and i dont want him to worry about me) and i have no other friends i can tell.
anyway, i'm not telling you any more about the molestation itself... i'll pretend it's because i want to spare you the perversity and horribleness of the whole thing, but mostly it's that if i talk about it again, im going to be miserable for the rest of tonight. and probably cut again, but i might do that anyway.
and i ate a ton today! ice cream for the 2nd day in a row, a teeny tiny taco, and a sourdough burger thing. and a chicken sandwich. i'm so fat. whatever. maybe i'll gross out any future molesters. i hate myself.